Humoristisk fantasy

Retirement's rough when you have to stop the apocalypse.A man who may be the Antichrist is walking the streets of Pittsburgh. Or maybe he's just a jagoff insurance salesman with a big ego and good shoes. An egotistical buffoon Archangel decides the man is the real deal and that it's his job to intervene to stop the end of the world. Even though the Big Guy Upstairs frowns on this kind of interference with his entertainment.Julian 'Jilly' Tetanich is a retired mafia contract killer who now owns a Pittsburgh bar full of colorful characters and whose best friend happens to be a slightly lapsed fantasy football-loving Catholic priest. When rogue Archangel Uriel descends from above with his God Squad sidekicks, they try to enlist Jilly to perform one more hit and save his immortal soul. All Hell breaks loose as the forces of good and evil prepare for this comedic showdown. Jilly will have to decide whether he should stick to his guns or dust them off one last time.

"Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body from the remains of past meals: a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warm-hearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human. Homily is kind and nurturing and would make an excellent co-parent: an ideal place to lay Shesheshen's eggs so their young could devour Homily from the inside out. But as they grow close, she realizes humans don't think about love that way"--

This is the story of the elf kings of Tarenhiel. Iron HeartIt all started with an arranged marriage. When Ellarin, heir to the King of Tarenhiel, finds out that he is dying, his father forces him into an arranged marriage with Lady Leyleira. Will the pressure of the king and the court draw them closer or pull them apart? Will they fall in love before it is too late? Elf KingThis elf king was not always so grumpy. When Prince Weylind of the elves falls in love with a simple healer's daughter, life seems peaceful and perfect. But a troll attack and an unexpected younger brother change everything, placing more and more burdens on Weylind's shoulders. Will Weylind find his way back to the person he used to be? Or will he be too late to fix the damage to his own family? Follow four generations of kings as they shape Tarenhiel into the kingdom it is during the Elven Alliance series.

Hardcover edition: A new version of my first novel made to celebrate my early successes. Includes new professionally done artwork. Also includes bonus content in the back--an afterword highlighting my tumultuous relationship with sudden popularity and unavoidable infamy.In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author's adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.

A reporter itching to expose a scandal. A captain protecting his friend's reputation. A natural enmity that doesn't account for the long, lingering looks...Brooke Everleigh's first big story is everything she'd imagined it would be-bringing justice and power to account. Her source claims King Edward cursed her with a magic kiss, and she's not going to let him get away with it, not after all she's gone through to become a reporter.Captain Saint had hoped for more time to get used to his new job as chief communications officer before getting embroiled in a scandal. Clearing his friend's name isn't going to be easy, especially when telling the truth might mean worse trouble. Plus, the pretty blonde who's pressing things is getting under his skin-too bad she shut him down the moment they met. When Brooke's son lands in hot water at school, the school assigns the only available mentor: Captain Saint. With her son's future at stake, Brooke is forced to cooperate with a man she doesn't trust, regardless of how good-looking and great with kids he might be. When the king makes it clear there's no future for his chief communication officer and the reporter who's trying to destroy his reputation, she'll have to choose between her work and the captain who's worked his way into her heart...Bringing Down the King is the fourth book in the Rocky Royal Romances, a complete six-book series. If you like a sweet, enemies-to-lovers holiday romance with a twist of fantasy and a dash of suspense, one-click this romance now. This book has a guaranteed HEA; it contains mild cursing and frank discussion of adult situations, including the Me Too movement, but no open-door sex scenes. It was previously published under the title The Jinxed Journalist.

When I quit my job as a fake fortuneteller to become the Oracle, of course the job had strings attached. Olympic-sized strings.A modern epic of Homeric proportions with romance, belly laughs, and ibuprofen chasersJust when I thought I had it all, something foul is afoot in Milagro Bay.On our morning run, Cerberus retrieved the unlikeliest of gifts-a foot with a limited-edition sneaker that could belong to none other than Lucky Joey, one of Carlo's crew. Worse than the murder of my ex's erstwhile friend, Luke is missing.My enemies wanted me out of the picture, and they're about to get it with two more murders that point to me as the culprit.The witches of Milagro Bay, my newfound family, Hermes, and my friends on the Supernatural Council all have my back, but what if we can't prove that I didn't do it?As we're trying to prove my innocence, evidence has piled up that I had accomplices-namely harpies and shifters. The council itself and their involvement came into question. Conspiracies about a supernatural crime ring arise.More important than our pending arrests, what will happen without me or the council to protect this world?We know we're being set up, but will we be able to prove it before the entire world is in jeopardy?

From the flooded depths of Seattle's Neptune Theatre, a drop of water seeks an author to tell its story. So begins an inspired magical book featuring a vaudeville act's last performance and the interference of the Counterfeit Reality machine.

Will Murphy spends his down time doing subversive cross-stitch, crafting saucy baked goods for the romance book club he attends with his Nana, and desperately trying to hide the fact that he's been in love with Vanessa Woodbridge for, well, ever. For years, he's been content to wear the best friend label. But suddenly it's starting to chafe, right when Vanessa needs a trusted friend more than ever. Vanessa Woodbridge wants to be a hedge witch more than anything, but her chances of becoming one are laughable. Her father's pride stands between her and her dream of leaving her barista job behind in favor of crafting helpful potions and magical edibles at Wicked Brews. The Woodbridge patriarch has forbidden her from a career path that is, in his opinion, beneath their magical family legacy. She might not care about his feelings, but without his signature, Vanessa can't sign up for the classes she desperately needs to learn essential hedge witchery. She's ready to give up, but with Will at her back, she finds the courage to fight for what she wants. She's never been able to count on her dad, but she can count on her best friend. Will's her rock. He would never crumble. Only Will feels like he's doing exactly that. He's falling apart inside and he's not sure how long he can keep up the façade of the calm, platonic, best friend. But for Vanessa? He'd do anything to help her get her dream... Even if it costs him the one thing he cherishes most. Her.

It's bad enough waking up in a half-destroyed evil wizard'sworkshop with no eyebrows, no memories, and no idea how longyou have before the Dread Lord Whomever shows up to murderyou horribly and then turn your skull into a goblet or something.It's a lot worse when you realize that Dread Lord Whomever is...you.Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, orwhy he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play alongwith his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back beforehe gets himself killed.But as he realizes that nothing - from the incredibly tasteless cloakadorned with flames to the aforementioned princess - is quite whatit seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavraxhas done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all -who does he want to be?

Taking over an island nation of pirates should be easy for Hettie Stormheart, First Daughter of the merciless Island Witch, but leading her coven of twenty-seven siblings who can't agree on anything is like herding drunken cliff pigs.When a foreign diplomat warns of an invading lord threatening their way of life, Hettie's got to whip her sisters into fighting shape to defend their home, only the invading army is unlike anything they've ever seen: beast-like men and amphibious assassins who can swim circles around them.To make matters worse, Hettie's only hope of victory is a cursed magical artifact: Deryl, a sentient eyeball who hates magic-wielders and is more annoying than all her siblings combined. But as Hettie struggles to keep her ragtag group of defenders together, a new adversary emerges. One more ruthless and unexpected than even the shadow beasts that hunt them in the dark.With Deryl's help, Hettie must overcome the invading army and protect her home from those who seek to destroy it. The true cost of victory may be higher than she ever imagined, and the fate of the island nation-and the Daughters' Coven-hangs in the balance.

Little Red Riding Hood is not who she seems. With crooked town officials, there are plans to change the face of Grandmother's forest forever. As murder lurks in the shadows, the question on everyone's mind is: where is the great Wolf? And where is the woodsman, who is supposed to protect the forest and its inhabitants?

It has been several years since Jael the Demoness led a team of gods, goddesses and other supernatural beings to thwart the machinations of Laverna, the ancient Roman goddess of Thieves and her one-time ally, Belphagor, the Demon of Sloth and all has been relatively quiet since then. Belphagor remains imprisoned in Hell, but Laverna escaped even when, Diana, goddess of the hunt tried to track her down over the next few months. So, when Anansi, Glooscap, Susanoo-no-Mikoto and Lugh learn she is back in action they rush out to follow her trail only to disappear themselves.Now it is up to Jael to reassemble what is left of her team to go rescue their friends and, while they are at it, stop whatever mischief Laverna is up to this time. That, by itself, would be difficult enough, but this time Laverna as a new ally nearly unparalleled in dark power. Will they find out who they are up against before they, too are taken captive?

How do you defeat an enemy you cannot see?After returning from Prague, a strange attack by hellbeasts leaves Mae Jin and her allies puzzled. Their suspicion that the Dark Council is behind the incident is roused when a reception attended by Mae, Nikolai Stanisic, and Vlad Vissarion takes a dark turn.But it isn't until Mae unwittingly triggers an unknown spell in a haunted church that she realizes the full extent of their foe's plans. Overnight, the memories of almost everyone she knows are wiped out by the enemy's sorcery and the magical realm turns against her, making her the country's most wanted fugitive.With the assistance of an unexpected ally, Mae, Nikolai, Vlad, and those of her friends immune to the trickery track down those who possess knowledge of the rare magic she unleashed.With only two days left to foil the Dark Council's sinister scheme, will Mae and Nikolai be able to reverse the spell before it's too late?

Der Bann des Königs ist gebrochen, doch leider erleben die Freunde auf ihrer Reise zur Topasburg viele böse Überraschungen...

The projector flickers on the cheap silver screen. A blood-curdling scream rips the silence and the glorious 35mm print spills itself out. Ditch the popcorn and don't even think about making out... you ain't ever seen anything like this before! Hold on to your dates, kiddies, as David C Hayes takes you on a trip into his dark imagination with this fiction collection that looks like that corner of the video store your parents warned you about.Vampires. Zombies. Girl Gangs. Mad Science. You've purchased a ticket to The Midnight Creature Feature Picture Show...and if you don't watch out, you just may get a starring role!

The Reluctant President, Bellwether BobYou too can become President of the United States! You have the qualifications. You have the knowledge. Look at recent history. Couldn't you do just as well or better?If an orphan from Nome, Alaska can find himself as POTUS, why not you? He starts in Nome, travels to Anchorage and then on to Washington, D.C.Yes, Bellwether Bob was a large fish in a small pond. Well ... a medium fish is a small pond. He did alright for himself as a performing comic and panning the beaches of Nome for gold. But he just felt there had to be something more. Haven't you thought the same thing at times? Well, there was for Bellwether Bob. With his support staff of nephew Albert, Aunt Mary, the Governor and that pretty blond bartender, he made some worthwhile changes for our country.Would you have made the same decisions as Bellwether Bob? Would you have rode a nuclear-powered submarine and added another state to our union? I bet you would!Nephew Albert said it best when he described his uncle's comic routine, as a combination of "that real old guy, Bob Newhart and that guy on the Red Green Show [Steve Smith]." If you enjoy these two characters, you'll love Bellwether Bob!See how many political and Hollywood spoofs you can detect. It's an easy and fun read!

This is the story of the elf kings of Tarenhiel. Iron HeartIt all started with an arranged marriage. When Ellarin, heir to the King of Tarenhiel, finds out that he is dying, his father forces him into an arranged marriage with Lady Leyleira. Will the pressure of the king and the court draw them closer or pull them apart? Will they fall in love before it is too late? Elf KingThis elf king was not always so grumpy. When Prince Weylind of the elves falls in love with a simple healer's daughter, life seems peaceful and perfect. But a troll attack and an unexpected younger brother change everything, placing more and more burdens on Weylind's shoulders. Will Weylind find his way back to the person he used to be? Or will he be too late to fix the damage to his own family? Follow four generations of kings as they shape Tarenhiel into the kingdom it is during the Elven Alliance series.

"Wenn wir schon zur Hölle fahren, dann mit Stil!"Kein Wort beschreibt Lysias den Zerstörer so gut dieses: unbesiegbar. Seit Jahrtausenden liegt der Unsterbliche mit den Göttern im Clinch, aber noch ist er aus jedem Kampf siegreich hervorgegangen. Inzwischen hat die Langeweile Einzug in das Leben des Unbesiegbaren gehalten. Dies ändert sich jedoch schlagartig, als der junge Halbgott Reon ihn um Hilfe bittet. Er soll Reons Schwester aus dem Tartaros befreien, dem tiefsten Teil der Unterwelt und Heimat der Götter. Lysias kommt der Bitte nach - ohne zu ahnen, dass ihn der Weg direkt in seine persönliche Hölle führen wird. Und damit beginnt der erste Teil einer wahrhaft göttlichen Komödie.

Bombendrohung an einer Grundschule - das ist selbst für die von Kriminalität gebeutelte Stadt Crossbrick ein Novum! Nur dank einer jungen Heldin kann Detective Gregori Shade verhindern, dass jemand zu Schaden kommt. Doch dann soll er von dem Fall abgezogen werden - als Schattenmann würde er die Kinder nur unnötig verängstigen. Während er sich widerstrebend darum kümmert, im Auftrag der Mafia einen Wanderheiler zu jagen, sagt Gregs Gespür ihm, dass mit dem heldenhaften Mädchen etwas nicht stimmt ... Doch um die Wahrheit zu finden, muss er sich nicht nur Vorurteilen, sondern auch dem Grauen des Schulsystems stellen.

I'm the daughter of the Don, but my life as a mafia princess is far from a fairytale. Trapped in a pretty cage, my family clipped my wings. They keep me dependent on them so that I can fill the role all princesses are tasked: to marry a prince and secure an alliance.Except, the men my father offered me to aren't princes. They're not charming. Hell, I'm pretty sure this is the wrong story altogether. Instead of being swept off my feet, I'm a prize to be won.A trophy for whoever claims the throne to Earth and Emerald.My 'suitors' consist of my demon mate that rejected me, a fae criminal fate decided was my second chance, and a hybrid-shifter whose dark past is entwined with mine.They will decide my future, because dear old dad thinks I don't get a say.There's just one little problem.I'm not a very good princess and I have no intention of playing nice.If fate wouldn't give me my freedom, I was going to take it.I just had to hope I wouldn't lose myself-or my heart-in the process.

Hubert headhunter er blevet involveret i en konkurrence om at fange hovedet af det frygteligste rovdyr i hele mælkevejen, og det fører ham naturligvis til planeten Tellus. Vejen viser sig dog noget vanskelig, fordi han må gennem et komplekst univers. Hubert får dog hjælp af de trofaste hjælpere fra Ubegrænset Færdsel Overalt A/S. Alligevel bliver processen kompliceret, fordi han skal fremskaffe en Licence to Kill eller lokke nogle dræberaber ud i det komplekse, vinkelrette univers. Det lykkes dog at lokke fire dræberaber ud i det komplekse vinkelrette univers, hvor de gennemlever en række eventyr og underlige begivenheder ...

Caught in a hazardous inter-dimensional whirlwind; Star, Hazel and their new pink friend Fandango must face the horrors of the trickster demons, dodge sense grumbles and fight gun wielding tree crunchers, using only their wits and the occasional bubble gun. Their mission is to find the famous Pocket Watch of Doom before a nasty little man takes over Earth. They must face peril, bad practical jokes, and many other dangers and get back to the faerie realm in time for cupcakes and nectar.

Es geht um 2 Raben, Hugin und Munin, die Raben des Odin, die sich immer auf ihrem Ast, einer riesigen Eiche treffen. An einem stürmischen Abend beobachten die beiden Raben, wie Blätter, Seiten und immer mehr davon an Ihrem Ast vorbeifliegen, es sind Seiten aus einer Bibel, also der Bibel genau. Als Odin oder Wotans Raben, die ja zu Odins Zeiten diesem immer berichteten, was sich auf der Welt so zugetragen hat, können die mit den Geschichten der Schöpfungsgeschichte gar nichts anfangen, sie veralbern und kommentieren jede einzelne Textzeile bis zum Ende der Schöpfung und dann sogar noch Noahs Arche, es wird gelästert, geulkt ... bis Hugin sich wünschte zu erfahren, wie den die Schöpfung nun tatsächlich stattgefunden hat. Ja wenn Odins Raben sich etwas wünschen. Zapp, werden Sie auf einen absolut leeren Planeten verbracht, dieser Planet ist aber wesentlich mehr, als er scheint, dort werden Planeten gebaut, entworfen, ganze Galaxien, komplette Universen ja mehrere den es gibt kein Universum, es existiert ein Multiversum. Die beiden lernen den Schöpfer kennen, nicht den Gott aus der Bibel, der Schöpfer ist nur einer von vielen weiteren Schöpfern, so nennen sich die Mitglieder einer alten Gilde, die alles Mögliche bauen, erschaffen. Die Raben sehen wie ein Planet montiert wird, aufgebaut und an den Bestimmungsort transportiert Hugin und Munin lernen die Auftraggeber kennen, meistens Götter, Räte oder Erben von reichen galaktischen TV oder Musikstars, die sich Luxus gönnen und an den Bewohnern Ihren Frust auslassen können. Während des Schreibens entwickelte sich das Buch ganz anders. Anfangs sind da nur die Bibelpassagen, die von Hugin und Munin bretthart kommentiert und die Widersprüche in diesem schlecht recherchierten Buch entlarvt wurden. So sollte es weiter gehen, bis Mose 3 aber wie bei Svenney O`Sheäs wahren Abenteuern, entwickelten die beiden Raben ein Eigenleben, indem sie selbst zur Geschichte wurden, aber auch Odin¿s Walhalla bekommt sein Fett weg, wie einige Personen des aktuellen Zeitgeschehens. Im Höhepunkt dieser Geschichte taucht Tsering Khy, ein nepalesischer Lama auf, der die Reinkarnation aus der Inkarnation heraus erklärt und in 1000 den Jahren einige Inkarnationen und die folgende Reinkarnation, das Auflösen durchmachte um am Ende sein Nirwana, als Computerprogramm zu betreten und somit nicht still unsterblich den Kreislauf des Seins unterbricht, sondern ...... lest es selbst. SATIRE pur sarkastisch bis böse plus Cartoons

Time stops for no man, but with a little luck and a little onyx, it'll stop for a woman.Dr. Ember Thorn doesn't have time to drop everything to take a worthless piece of onyx back to some random Caribbean island because her mother broke a hip and can't do it herself. It can wait.So, it waits. And waits. It waits until Ember's life goes a bit wonky. She loses her boyfriend, her job, and her house ends up full of raw sewage.Well, okay, then. No reason not to go reset in the Caribbean. She hops the next plane out and ends up seated beside the man who made sure she lost her job.He had some justification. Ember was the one who sent his very much alive father to the morgue. Don't freak out. It's not like it was intentional, and the man didn't even end up being refrigerated. It was a simple mistake and nobody was injured. Not physically… the not-dead guy may need some therapy.On island time, things aren't looking up. The airline lost her luggage, then when she gets to the island, she's thrown from the boat by an over-zealous driver-and her pig.Just as she's about to drink herself into oblivion, she spots Delilah Bradbury, actress, icon, and movie director. Ember strikes up a conversation-she's Delilah's biggest fan, Oh Em Gee!-and her luck finally changes. By some island miracle, Ember ends up with the lead role in the upcoming movie about a pirate, a witch, and a trio of magical jewels.It's not that easy. Things are never that easy. Nothing is what it seems on Pararey Island. Thanks to Renegade Remington and the love of his life, Ariyah, who are dying-not literally, they're already dead-to tell their story, maybe true love will prevail for all of them.