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Clumsy Clem's got ninety nine problems and he's the cause of every single one! Or at least that's how he sees it. The down-on-his luck ogre thinks he's the worst and he has no idea what to do about it. That is, until an encounter with two helpful siblings gives him a chance to turn things around, starting with his own thoughts. The siblings help him realize that Clumsy Clem is an absolute gem! As long as he focuses on what he's good at and keeps a positive attitude, there's nothing he can't do. You won't want to miss this funny, read-aloud tale with adorable illustrations and catchy rhyming prose. This book can help children reframe problems and change the way they think by focusing on what they do well and right rather than on what mistakes they make.
Hold onto your spaghetti and meatballs! It''s a mighty, mythical, mammal mystery! A poor kid''s tasty spaghetti is history. A typical family meal this was not. Spaghetti and meatballs piping hot. You might say that is simple enough, but oh let me tell you, from there things got pretty rough. I don''t want to spoil the surprise, all right? But you should heed my advice. Don''t leave your favorite meal on a snowy day for a second. You may turn around to find your spaghetti sucked in by a legend. And what would you do then? Would you wrestle the beast over your tasty feast? Should that be the path that you choose, of course you would lose. So, then how would you say that a yeti''s to blame without your whole family thinking that you''ve gone insane? Well, you''ll just have to read it to find out! A Yeti Ate My Spaghetti is the first book in the Crazy Animal Capers series. Disclaimer: There are no actual capers in this crazy animal caper.
***Use you most mysterious voice while reading*** For centuries, young children have feared the alleged monster beneath their beds. Oh, the havoc those monstrous monsters have wreaked upon so many tired little tots. Well, it''s time the tables are turned! Muwahahaha! Sorry, that was a bit much. Or was it not enough? I''ll let you be the judge. In book one of the Monstrosity Curiosity duology (I double dog dare you to say that ten times fast- and be sure to check out book two What Do Monsters Eat & Drink?), humor author C.T. Walsh speculates about what young monsters'' bedtimes looks like. And what''s more- who are said monsters afraid of when the lights go out? You might be surprised. Or not. You might be a total genius and figure it out or perhaps you have monster blood coursing through your veins and when you close your eyes, your monster fears come to life and you know what haunts them. If that''s the case, you should probably get that checked out, but if you are still quite unsure, it''s time we figure out this Monstrosity Curiosity and put this monster mystery to bed...if you dare. Muwahahaha!
When the farm animals threaten to revolt over the less-than-gourmet cuisine of grass and bugs, Farmer Walsh must call upon the Kung Pao Cow, not to squash the rebellion but to make the farm animals' taste buds pop. But is she up to the task? Or will the job eat her alive…sorry that was a little bit over the top. The stakes aren't really that big, but you can imagine how difficult it is to feed a diverse farm. She won't be serving steaks, that's for sure! Or duck a l'orange. Or chicken ala king. You get the idea…You won't want to miss this funny, read-aloud tale with adorable illustrations and catchy rhyming prose. Children will gobble up this hilarious story from C.T. Walsh, author of the Middle School Mayhem series and the wacky, but loveable The 250-Year-Old Bride.
Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands Austin Davenport is back in the mayhemiest adventure yet! Austin's world is forever changed when he learns that nerds have one chance to transform themselves into cool kids. And that's by starting a band. When Austin and his crew get fed up at being even less popular than the kid in the marching band who wears his shoes on the wrong feet, they decide to take matters into their own hands. When Randy Warblemacher, already a popular kid (and Austin's nemesis) starts his own band that overshadows Austin's, the battle is on! And it's not just with Randy! Some of the area's best bands are in on the action: Goat Turd; 64 Farts, and Cold Sore are all looking to come out on top! Join Austin and the gang as they search for and express their badditude. Will the nerds rise to superstardom? Will fame and greed tear the band's friendship apart when half the band falls for the same girl? Will Austin's best friend, Ben, overcome his horrific stage fright? Will Austin split his leather pants and forever scar the youth of America? Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.
Middle School Mayhem: The Science (Un)Fair Thanks for tuning your station to Nerd Nation! Austin Davenport returns in Middle School Mayhem: Science (Un)Fair, the third installment of a planned twelve-book series. And this time, he's playing for keeps. Whatever that means. But seriously though, the stakes have never been higher for Austin, whose principal is salivating at the chance to get him expelled. A new website that bashes the overbearing principal surfaces and after no investigation whatsoever, Austin is the one and only suspect. To make matters worse, Randy Warblemacher, notorious cheater and Austin's chief nemesis, offers Austin a wager on the outcome of the science fair and it's an offer too good to refuse, but after a communication mix-up, the lovable underdog finds himself going head to head with his own girlfriend. Will the competition be too much for their relationship? Will Austin's design for a fart-suppression device save the environment and the institution of marriage by reducing toxic fume emissions by 40%? Or will his human catapult design transform long-distance travel, rendering the airline industry obsolete? Will Austin be expelled for a crime he didn't commit? Can Austin beat Randy? Will Randy play fair (I know, dumb question.) What will Austin do when the love of his life, Sophie Rodriguez, gets caught up in a cheating scandal? Questions. Questions. Questions. To find the answers, join Austin Davenport as the misadventures and mayhem continue with nonstop laughs! The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers. Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.
Middle School Mayhem: Down with the Danceis the first book in this action-packed, hilarious series. Meet Austin Davenport, whose fabulous luck landed him on this earth only eleven short months after his brother, Derek, putting them in the same grade. While Austin's brain power is unmatched, it appears as if his brother got all the athletic gifts and the family butt-chin, meaning their parents love Derek more than Austin, or so it seems. Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school as he navigates the swampy and undeodorized hallways and explores the depths of the cafeteria's seafood surprise. Oh, and someone is plotting to take down the Halloween Dance, the one that Austin has his sights set on, so he can take Sophie Rodriguez, a girl way out of his league, but who doesn't seem to know it. Can he stay one step ahead of the new principal who has it out for him? Will Austin figure out who the perpetrators are? Will he save the dance in time? Will he wear a diaper on a stakeout? This first in a planned series of twelve will have you ROFLing like you never have before. The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers. Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.
Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! Austin Davenport is back! With new characters and a new villain; the only guarantee is more mayhem! Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! is the second installment of this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers. After his brother wins a big sports award, Austin is jealous and wants his time to shine in the spotlight. With the school holiday musical just around the corner, Austin wonders if he's good enough for the lead role but also scared he might fart during a solo. Amplifying the problem is a new kid in town: the golden-voiced, dark-hearted Randy Warblemacher, who will stop at nothing to destroy Austin's chances at fame and fortune, while attempting to steal his girlfriend in the process. Oh, and following the chaos from the Halloween Dance, Cherry Avenue's overbearing principal is gunning even harder than before to get Austin expelled. Will Austin win the lead and steal the show? Will he gain his parents' affection even though he doesn't have the family butt chin? Can he juggle all of the mayhem that middle school throws at him or will his klutzery destroy all that he holds dear? What are you waiting for? I'm not going to answer the questions for you. You have to read the book! I mean, seriously… Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.
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