Bøger af M T Books

EVERYTHING THE SCOTS LOVE ABOUT THE ENGLISH For hundreds of years, since the 13th Century in fact, Kings, Queens, Cockneys, bankers, Old Etonians and other general twats from south of the border, and that London in particular, have generally got on Scotland's nerves and made our lives a misery. And then, after years of suppressed superiority, and a particularly obnoxious 40 year period after England won the World Cup and couldn't stop going on about it, Scotland finally secured its chance to break free: the Referendum, September 18th, 2014. And we bottled it. Here though, to cheer you up, detailed in 68 gloriously empty pages, and fuelled by this utterly depressing development, is a complete breakdown of everything us Scots love about the English. Enjoy it - it's ours, and they can never take it away from us*. (*Correct as of publication date). "A wee bit of casual racism, but". SCOTSMAN "Barry". TIMES "Offensive". WILL MORAN, AUTHOR, LIKE YOUR FRIENDS Other Empty Books include: THE ENCYLOPAEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN DAVID CAMERON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING EVERYTHING COOL ABOUT BANKERS BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT THE DAILY MAIL MANCHESTER UNITED: THE TROPHY CABINET STORY 2014- 2050 ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE GOOD REASONS TO VOTE CONSERVATIVE THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS GOOD REASONS TO SUPPORT CHELSEA EVERYTHING FUN ABOUT UKIP

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS After 36 years of painstaking research, and interviews with men and women the length and breadth of the land, comes this brave new polemic by the acclaimed journalist and gender commentator M. T. Books. Completely re-evaluating the role of men in interpersonal relationships and wider society, Books reveals a new truth in his uniquely text-free style: basically, it's that DIY really is just a case of picking up a hammer, so by and large men are, as suspected, a waste of space. The ideal gift for all women (and indeed men), the book features an introduction, chapter headings including Stuff Men Are Actually Good At, Male Guide To Foreplay, and Things Men Can Do That Women Can't Do Better (And With Less Of A Fuss), and a nice shiny cover - in between all that, you'll find 67 lovely blank pages, containing absolutely nothing. "As empty as my husband's Big List of Original Present Ideas". GUARDIAN "A woman of few words, all of them meaningful". TIMES "Offensive". WILL MORAN, AUTHOR, LIKE YOUR FRIENDS Other EMPTY BOOKS include: THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS EVERYTHING COOL ABOUT BANKERS THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT THE DAILY MAIL ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE GOOD REASONS TO VOTE CONSERVATIVE BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD

EVERYTHING COOL ABOUT BANKERS Bankers. You've gotta love 'em. Over-privileged coked-up nitwits who gamble away your pension and plunge the nation into financial crisis, before taunting any public sector worker they ever see because they've never had a million pound bonus. Here then, we detail, every single thing that's cool about bankers, which, for the avoidance of doubt, is absolutely nothing. Featuring a real introduction and chapter headings, a nice glossy 'city boy's pink shirt' coloured cover, and in between all that, 67 blank pages, it's the ideal gift for that annoying banker friend of yours, or indeed every single person in the world who resents him and all his mates. So, sit back, relax, and chuckle your way (quickly) through a modern day classic that's deliciously empty. "As empty as a banker's soul". GUARDIAN "Buy. Buy. Sell. Sell. No - just buy". TIMES "Like the author, I was lost for words." WILL MORAN, AUTHOR, LIKE YOUR FRIENDS Other EMPTY BOOKS include: THE ENCYLOPAEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT THE DAILY MAIL MANCHESTER UNITED: THE TROPHY CABINET STORY 2014- 2050 ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE GOOD REASONS TO VOTE CONSERVATIVE THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS GOOD REASONS TO SUPPORT CHELSEA BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD

GOOD REASONS TO SUPPORT CHELSEA After years of field work, research and interviews with the great and the good of world football, sports journalist M.T. Books finally details every single acceptable reason for supporting the world's most soulless football team. The definitive account of all that's good about Chelsea FC, it's a story of epic nothingness, comprising 67 beautifully blank pages, found in between a nice intro, proper chapter headings, and a fancy shiny cover. With sections including 'Things To Like About John Terry' and 'Why Chelsea Fans Are The Most Charming In Football', it's the ideal gift for fans of West Ham, Fulham, Arsenal, QPR, Liverpool, Manchester United and indeed Chelsea. "Football". JOHN TERRY "I didn't read it". ARSENE WENGER "A tewwific weed". ROY HODGSON Other EMPTY BOOKS include: DAVID CAMERON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT THE DAILY MAIL MANCHESTER UNITED: THE TROPHY CABINET STORY 2014-50 ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN

EMPTY BOOKS present... BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD Don't you just LOVE Boris? He's SO funny and harmless right? Well now, across 70 stunningly empty pages, this sensational brand new book details every single thing that Boris knows about the real world. Based on all of his incredible life experience toadying to the cream of society, we unveil precisely what this deeply disturbing posh giant baby understands about the everyday life of people who work for a living and didn't go to Eton. Packed full of absolutely nothing, leaving plenty of room for notes, and pencil sketches of spunking cocks, it's the ideal gift for anyone. "Boris Johnson. C***". GUARDIAN "Finally". KEN "Vote Ken". BARBIE Also now available from Empty Page Books: THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON MANCHESTER UNITED: THE TROPHY CABINET STORY 2014-50 ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE

ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX Finally, beautifully crafted yet stunningly empty, it's the gift book all fans of sexy stuff have been waiting for, as politician and renowned SORT Ann Widdecombe reveals EVERYTHING she knows about sex, and more. (Or, strictly speaking, less). With celebrated intercourse-avoider Ann finally breaking her sexy silence, the book features a real introduction, chapter headings including 'Doing Sex' and 'Everything Ann Knows About Other Rudies and Naughties', a beautiful glossy cover, and in between all that, 67 stunningly empty pages. "Sexy". Robin Thicke "Very sexy". Miley Cirus "Very, very sexy". David Cameron Other EMPTY BOOKS include: THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON 67 stunningly empty pages detailing all the hilarious and insightful things Jeremy has ever said. If it's witty and wise, and he said it, it's in this book. With plenty of room to write notes to remind yourself just how un-amusing and hateful this gigantic great big turd of a man is, this is the ideal gift for all non Clarkson fans out there, and for Clarkson fans too - because they're worth it. The book features a real introduction and chapter headings, a nice glossy cover with Jeremy on it, and in between all that, absolutely nothing. "Every funny thing Jeremy Clarkson has ever said is in this book". GUARDIAN "A perfect gift for anyone normal". MADIBA "A pathetic insult to one of the last truly Great Britons". THE DAILY MAIL Other EMPTY BOOKS include: EVERYTHING FUN ABOUT UKIP DAVID CAMERON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN MANCHESTER UNITED: THE TROPHY CABINET STORY 2014-50 THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS BORIS JOHNSON: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE REAL WORLD THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE GOOD REASONS TO SUPPORT CHELSEA ANN WIDDECOMBE: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX

THE POINT OF KATIE HOPKINS For the first time, in full excruciatingly annoying detail, we reveal the POINT of Katie Hopkins. Across 67 completely empty pages, we reveal: -ALL of the genuinely good reasons for her existence -the absolutely fabulous manner in which she has used her notoriety as a platform for positive change -the ways in which she isn't just massively obnoxious So, if you like Katie Hopkins - and let's face it, you don't - move on. Otherwise, tuck in, and enjoy the rip-roaring loo read and gift book that EVERYONE, including of course Katie Hopkins, is talking about. The book features a real introduction and chapter headings, a lovely glossy cover with a 'nice' picture of Katie on it, and in between all that, absolutely nothing. "About time". SCHOFIELD "Shut it". ALLEN "You're fired AGAIN you slag". SUGAR Other EMPTY BOOKS include: THE WIT AND WISDOM OF JEREMY CLARKSON THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING GREAT ABOUT THE DAILY MAIL THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MALE USEFULNESS THE INTEGRITY OF PIERS MORGAN EVERYTHING DAVID CAMERON KNOWS ABOUT ANYTHING THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST OF STOKE EVERYTHING ANN WIDDECOMBE KNOWS ABOUT SEX GOOD REASONS FOR SUPPORTING CHELSEA EVERYTHING BORIS JOHNSON KNOWS ABOUT THE REAL WORLD