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Luke Woam is out to become a missing person finder. With such awesome skills as being long-term unemployed; award-winning daytime television trivia knowledge; racking breadcake trays (and occasionally injecting jam into doughnuts when needed in an emergency) and generally being good at nothing useful, Luke sets out with his girlfriend in tow, to the metropolis that is London, to work on his first ever case-locating a runaway teenage girl. It's a case that will take him way out of his comfort zone of his bed, settee, console, television and unhealthy snacks, which (like everything else in his life post-school), have mostly been paid for by the benefit system. Luke and his partner, Tina, are thrust into a dangerous world far unlike their own back in small-time Bolton. On the plus side, they do possess a cheap, tacky, lucky charm purchased from a gypsy-like night-time street peddler of an old lady; the charm is probably of no real help to be honest, but alas, it is all in the belief, innit? And, both are in their early 20s still, is that a plus or minus, who knows in this lark? So, do the UK's newest, fledgling double act crack their maiden case, or does this missing maiden case crack them? One thing is for sure though, it definitely is a case of people, cultures and cities on a cataclysmic, nay, apocalyptic collision...well, they come into contact anyway!
It is the year 2268, the Universal Olympics, known as the Ulympics, are about to start. The best of the best of Earth's athletes are headed to Planet Zhel. They will compete against athletes from planets right across the universe. Unfortunately, their transportation ship suffers damage en route and has to land on the nearest appropriate planet for repairs. This 'appropriate' planet, Selkot, just happens to be banned from the Ulympics for unsporting behaviour and harbours a grudge, in particular against humans of Earth, who they primarily blame for the harsh banishment. So into their lap falls a ship full of Earth athletes, has their luck changed? The Symarons of Selkot have planned their very own Ulympics to showcase their own athletes against mainly human rivals. What follows for the Earth athletes is a series of bizarre, rigged and twisted sporting events where the prize for coming second is death! For the athletes and civilian crew of the Earth ship 'Lucky Lady', it will become a fight to survive the near impossible to win games and also try to formulate an escape plan. Are they in need of a miracle? Their weapons of choice: intelligence, cunningness, teamwork, organisation, sporting skill and...humour! Will it be enough?
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