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Part memoir, part self-improvement guide, part cautionary tale, Seven Years A Simp documents the author's journey from that of a shy, awkward coward who made women the focus of his existence to that of a man possessed of courage, purpose and autonomy. For nearly seven years, Chuck Valentine chased and pedestalised women. He was convinced he had no value as a person unless he'd earned a woman's approval and respect. Unable to get laid, he indulged in porn. He allowed women to friend-zone him and use him as a doormat. The only women he managed to attract were either crazy or highly unstable. And one time, out of desperation, he nearly paid an elderly Asian hooker to give him fellatio in a hotel bedroom. Then something changed. He stopped simping and started living.
Summer 1972. Jon's adult life is about to begin. While exploring his late-father's study, Jon comes across a strange unpublished novel his father left behind. Fiction and reality blend a little too closely, and when he discovers a hidden appendix he learns that his father's imagination was more terrifying and more powerful than he ever thought.
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