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After studying a master's degree in Clinical Psychology, Dasha Kiper worked as a caregiver for a Holocaust survivor suffering from Alzheimer's. Based on that experience and her subsequent work with caregivers of patients with dementia, Kiper proposes a new way of seeing and understanding the symbiotic relationship that is established between Alzheimer's and dementia patients and those who have to care for them. In the moving stories that Kiper collects in the book, she explores the dilemmas that these patients pose to those who have to live with them: a man's late and sudden Catholic devotion irritates his wife, a man believes that his partner is an imposter, a woman's imaginary friendships drive a wedge between her and her husband, a mother's childhood trauma emerges to torment her son... Combining neuroscience and literature, psychology and philosophy, with the teachings of a series of specific cases, Kiper illuminates the particular mental mechanisms of these patients and the difficulties they pose to those who they have to care for them, offering them comfort and understanding while debunking the myth of the perfect caregiver.
These “moving and often surprising” (The Wall Street Journal) case histories meld science and storytelling to show that caregivers don’t just witness cognitive decline in their loved ones with dementia—they are its invisible victims. “This book will forever change the way we see people with dementia disorders—and the people who care for them.”—Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A BBC BOOK OF THE WEEK • A TELEGRAPH BEST BOOK OF SUMMER • A NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW EDITORS’ CHOICEInspired by Dasha Kiper’s experience as a caregiver and counselor and informed by a breadth of cognitive and neurological research, Travelers to Unimaginable Lands dispels the myth of the perfect caregiver. In these compassionate, nonjudgmental stories of parents and children, husbands and wives, contending with dementia disorders, Kiper explores the existential dilemmas created by this disease: a man believes his wife is an impostor; a woman’s imaginary friendships with famous authors drive a wedge between her and her devoted husband; another woman’s childhood trauma emerges to torment her son; a man’s sudden, intense Catholic piety provokes his wife. Kiper explains why the caregivers are maddened by these behaviors, mirroring their patients’ irrationality, even though they’ve been told it’s the disease at work. By demystifying the neurological obstacles to caregiving, Kiper illuminates the terrible pressure dementia disorders exert on our closest relationships, offering caregivers the perspective they need to be gentler with themselves.
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