Bøger af Loran Joly

Is alcoholism a genetic condition?Or does the alcoholic turn to alcohol as a favorite way to cope with fears, anger and guilt, because they would rather see themselves suffer from the ill-effects of this coping mechanism, than to see others feel pain?And is alcoholism a gift, too, in that the alcoholic has the opportunity to face Realties earlier than many other people do?Do most thus have to wait until late in years - their deathbed perhaps - to have a rock bottom time that forces them to make massive growth?

We Are Urged to Know Ourselves..And to Know Our Worth...But what if Worth is in the Eye of the Beholder?Is it better to know our Assets?Because there are certain Assets that are almost universally appreciated across the spectrum of Mankind, whereas mere "features" are like flavors of ice cream, and each of us have our own preferences?Indeed, if a well-loved movie star or anyone else has made great headway in these assets, do they then have a far broader appeal than to simply a niche audience?The author examines assets such as Respect; and the tie-in to his view that Respect-Words are deterministic words; and the asset of not catastrophizing; and the third asset of using as few denials as possible - with the tie-in that disrespectful words are apparently part and parcel of a denial of the deterministic nature - the Cause-and-Effect nature - of all of the Universe, including Mankind.There are references to Jesus, Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Einstein, Thoreau, and more. The author studied electrical engineering, mathematics, and then, his own self, in generating these ideas. He is sixty-three

Does one have to believe in a God to go to Alcoholics Anonymous?And what about this Higher Power concept?It may just be that we all are either our own God, or we look outside of ourselves to explain how everything happens?What if a Higher Power need not be something utterly hard to comprehend? What if a Higher Power could even be The Laws of the Universe?For consider that Einstein believed in a God, a God that "did not play dice with the Universe": could we refer to a Higher Power as the Power of Cause and Effect, even? And that this is the most scientific, rational idea we could ever wrap our heads around?The author, 63, studied electrical engineering at West Point, and later, at age 41, began studying a series of fifteen mathematics courses at Berea College. He also has amassed over 160,000 electronic flashcards over a period of fifteen years, using the software program known as SuperMemo.The author wrestled many years with the definition of God before coming to some peace of mind. He certainly concluded he is not a Magician and thus his own God, but rather, that something else must be dictating what happens in his own life - and his very existence, indeed. For if he doesn't make things happen, then what does? Chance? Whimsy?It seems likely that if we are not Magicians, then we certainly cannot qualify for the term God; and if we have problems, in this scientific era, with the very idea of a god or Higher Power at all, then perhaps we could look at other explanations.Indeed, there have been people of great impact, who had their own views on God or Gods; Einstein; Ralph Waldo Emerson and his views on Nature, too; and Leo Tolstoy, whose view on God resulted in being ex-communicated from the church. Even Dr. Albert Schweitzer was only allowed to be part of a missionary society in Africa because he promised not to preach - for his views on God were considered controversial to the board members, and at first, he was flat rejected when he applied to the society.The author was raised in the Plymouth Brethren church; at the age of twenty-one, he spent a week at L'Abri in Massachusetts, originally started by Francis Schaeffer; also, the author's mother once sang in Billy Graham's choir when she was eighteen, and his grandfather, born in Ukraine, was a Mennonite.The author later sought out other views, and spent 150 sessions in psychoanalysis with two physicians, in his late twenties, one hundred of which were in San Diego. Additionally, he spent one hundred Saturday mornings at a meditation center in a nearby city, and a year ago, he visited a monastery four times, to attend workshops and talk with two Tibetan monks.He has helped a family member successfully overcome "over-imbibing"; he had an aunt depart this earth in her fifties due to alcohol; and he has attended AA meetings as a visitor to check things out himself....He also spent five years helping others and himself at a drop-in shelter in a local area, three times a week, and at West Point, received training as a Peer Cadet Counselor, to fulfill a posting one summer, there, in this capacity.This book also addresses the concept of Reinhold Niebuhr saying that some things are in our control and some things are not - as per the Serenity Prayer...for how can this be, one might wonder? Can free will and determinism both be true at the same time?This book is short and sweet but tries to boil down the essentials of Alcoholics Anonymous from perhaps twelve concepts to one or two key ones, perhaps helping us see what is the most essential of the views of Alcoholics Anonymous, and what it most "active ingredients" are, in fact. He has applied his mathematics and engineering skills to try to get to the nub of things.

Addictions are said to be common.But what if all of us actually have one or more addictions?Have we thought that an addiction is simply a "crutch" - a Defense Mechanism, as Freud talked of, that is used several times until it becomes a habit?The author maintains it is impossible to not use one or more defense mechanisms, and therefore that it is impossible for all human beings to not have one or more addictions. He believes this is because of the limitations of our brains - our amygdala, for instance, which can be very reactive; and the overwhelming pleasures of certain matters such as certain chemicals, and activities like sex and the release of aggressive feelings - which the author believes have such a big bang that he calls them the "crack" pleasures; and our knowledge that we will one day "expire", and we this is understandably troubling, given our inbuilt wiring to survive, and the obvious pleasures of continuing to live; and then, too, our brain is not wired to remember everything, and this too causes us trouble.We can thus attempt to refine our lives, but there will always be the need for these Defenses - these addictions, he maintains.But surely, we would like to have an optimal life - one where our addictions - our Defense Mechanisms - have the least negative impact upon ourselves and others, especially in the long term.... Psychoanalysis refers to these as the "Mature" defenses.And perhaps we could say, "The Optimal Use" of defenses - or addictions, once again.The author has a balanced view of addictions, from a variety of sources: he has experienced 150 sessions of psychoanalysis with two physicians, in the 1980s - one hundred of these in San Diego, California. Also, he spent four years at West Point, before this time, studying Electrical Engineering and other subjects; and then was a combat arms officer in Germany for several years, in the area of tanks, after originally attempting to become a physician when he first engaged in his studies. Twenty years after studying Electrical Engineering, he studied fifteen mathematics courses at Berea College, and also took up the use of Spaced Repetition Software - using SuperMemo - to accumulate a sum of over 160,000 flashcards on various people-subjects, including psychology, sociology, religion, trauma, and addictions. This took him fifteen years and a total of 10,000 hours.He brings to this field, some interestingly new ideas, he believes:He spent twenty years helping a family member deal with and successfully overcome alcohol "issues". This included visits to hospitals over 150 times.He also has spent five years helping and benefitting personally, at a drop-in shelter in an urban area.He also has worked for a home care agency, and later started one of his own.He has uncommon views too, in that he spent his first five years in inner-city Detroit and attended Kindergarten in this inner-city environment; yet later, he lived in many rural areas as a youth, in both Minnesota and on his grandparents' farm in Michigan every summer in childhood. Later on, he lived in a rundown area of San Diego, to save money while "in' psychoanalysis; yet later still, he lived in low-income housing in Appalachian Kentucky for four years.He applies his immigrant and their religion, too: his mother and grandmother were from Poland, and his grandfather was from Ukraine. The author later tied Christian and Buddhist views together, having spent a week at L'Abri, when twenty-one, and much later, one hundred Saturday mornings at a Meditation Center, and finally, having visited a Buddhist monastery four times, for workshops and to talk with two Tibetan monks there.

Our words count! We all have heard this. So, many say, "Choose your words carefully". But why do our words matter so much? And why is it so hard to make progress in this area? The author may well have some uncommon experiences to bring to the table in this area: he is the product of immigrants, and largely was raised without hearing words, his first four years, because his grandmother, who largely raised him during his first four years, knew no English, and so they spoke only an "intuitive" non-verbal language. And his biological mother had come to Ellis Island as an immigrant, too, as a war refugee, knowing no English, ten years before his birth. For the past five years, he has applied his knowledge of Electrical Engineering and Mathematics to the study of "People"-words. Ten years ago, he also spent one hundred Saturday mornings at a meditation center; and a year ago, visited a Buddhist monastery four times, talking with two Buddhist Tibetan monks, and attending lectures there, too. And he has also seen the Western psychological views on words, having spent one hundred sessions in psychoanalysis with two physicians, in his twenties. This book mentions his views on possible shortcomings in how various viewpoints address words and their side-effects. His father has a Ph.D. in English literature. This book has many very useful links to great YouTube shows on the topic of words and relationships.

We are urged to create content that is flawless in outward appearance."No typos!" "No grammar errors!" "No meandering". "Great cover design". "One billion pixels". Technical perfection, in other words.But when is 80% = done?When is a Bird in the Hand worth ten or more in the Bush, too?What about the content? And what if one doesn't have the money to or time to polish, polish, polish?And when is the seeking of lots of book reviews akin to putting perfume on something that needs no camo? Are some people putting lipstick on what amounts to Word Salads? Besides, what if one is prolific, too? Or is spending their Sheckles and time much more on loved ones?Again, is there always a hard and fast rule on editing our work, including typos and grammar?And what of getting book reviews - how many are necessary? Indeed, are there adequate or even profoundly greater credentials for a book than the number of book reviews, or even testimonials?Does a great-looking person who walks into a bar, need to hold a sign showing the number of book reviews they have - or the equivalent, say, in terms of how many dates they have had, or too, how much money they make? Or their job title? Or is their body language and overall demeanor their form of book reviews? Indeed, can even the number of books published, or the courage needed to address the issues, be more important by far, than the number of reviews, or any lack of polish?The author talks of these things, and there is a scannable QR code which will pull up a twenty-five-minute audiovisual on how his life turned out as it did, and how this made for very interesting views on publishing.

"To Whom MUCH is GIVEN, Much is Expected"Luke 12:48This book looks at what we may mean by MEGA-Gifts, especially CATALYST-GIFTS.Indeed, we all wonder what makes for someone highly talented, and what this word genius is all about.And why are most products, most skills, average? Why are there so few Great American Novels, so few great leaders, so few great ....?Perhaps because their talents are average?Maybe we need to look at MEGA-Talents?In the sense of some one or more areas that act as CATALYSTS? To not just 10x the person and their offerings, but 1000x them?

Are we afraid of dying,or are we perhaps much more afraid of the process of dying,afraid of the shame we may feel?Indeed, is shame one of the most painful things we can feel?

We have all heard of how expensive it is, for housing....And especially in urban areas.Yet, some have found ways to make compromises and cut costs in either housing or what one might call "legal sleeping".This book seeks to discuss the ins and outs of time spent in a car, and the concept of homelessness, a term perhaps very confusing indeed.The author is a West Point graduate who spent a great deal of time in field duty in Germany, including time sleeping in an Abrahms tank and on a cot in the forests of Germany while on maneuvers. Yet at no time was he called "homeless"....This book hopes to take a fresh look at what some have called "living in a car", and the term "homelessness".For isn't a home, wherever we hang our hat, or moreover, wherever we sleep, especially, for more than an hour a day? And wherever we store our "stuff", a term from George Carlin?This book is very thought-provoking and has many great resources at the back, too.

Computers and cell phones DON'T TALK BACK to us! And they don't tell us what we'd RATHER NOT HEAR, right? And, they come with WARRANTIES, and ARE EASILY DISCARDED when we are BORED with them and WANT TO UPGRADE! They also give us UNCONDITIONAL LOVE--like a dog or plant.... SO, we NEVER HAVE to "WORK on ourselves", to keep THEM happy, or to ATTRACT them in the first place!This author, who never touched a laptop until the age of 41, and typed all his early classroom papers on a manual typewriter, and also never owned a cell phone until the same age, touches upon some insights on life without such amenities. He also never owned a TV until the age of 28, or had broadband internet until the age of 55. And never had a Facebook page until the age of 59. He brings to the topics, experiences from spending time growing up in both major urban areas (Detroit and St. Paul, Minnesota, as well as a farm); and living in San Diego, Europe, and small villages, too, like one having only 800 residents; and having lived four years in small-town Appalachian Kentucky, too.THIS BOOK is CHOCK FULL of YouTube links to a fascinating array of videos on topics very critical to understanding Modern Man's UNHAPPINESSES--particularly, the COMPROMISE-SOLUTIONS he has arrived at.Additionally, this book covers the crucial role of how our need and yearning for adequate housing is a massive driving force in our lives, especially in the United States, with its astronomical costs, and the true realities of urban living (vs. life in the "country").And last but not least, this book discusses how MODERN Man (and Woman) COPES with hectic life today: especially, with use of drugs--and this including "psychiatric" drugs (tranquilizers, in particular--termed "medicines", all too often); and the OVERALL focus, these days, upon DISTRACTION, not RELATIONSHIPS. Additionally covered is the DECLINE of RELIGIONS, as a result of technology, drugs, and science.There is also "treatment" of the question of whether Mankind has been ADVANCING, or REGRESSING! (It provides a link to a video covering the book "Civilized to Death: the Price for Progress".)The book caps things off with a chapter on Man's pursuit of THE "EXPEDIENT"-solution approach to life.The author has worked in a great variety of jobs, including time in the military--where he entered, hoping to become a physician; time as an engineer; and time in an insurance company and restaurants; fifteen years' time with caregiving, and a brief period in the health care industry. He has seen, close up, a variety of hospitals, having paid 180 visits to a loved one in such places, including a nursing home, and is thus intimately familiar with their in's and out's, especially for those at the "bottom end" of the scale. And finally, he has had his own close "scrapes" in life, having almost lost his life in three car accidents, a harrowing military training experience, and a period of homelessness at the age of 30.

Shame is so commonplace. In fact, some of us are ashamed to take up space. The author seeks to look at why we feel shame, and what the definition actually could be.The topic is approached by someone without a Ph.D. or MD degree. Instead, the author has some other rather unusual experience sets (credentials) to apply to this topic: particularly, the application of a totally revamped vocabulary, which accommodates his view that we human beings are subject to the same laws of the universe that all objects are; and too, his having very, very strong mathematical skills; and having amassed over 160,000 electronic flashcards over a twenty-year period, on a variety of people-topics, using the spaced-repetition software known as SuperMemo. And much, much more...