Bøger af Lotus Rose

Mary awaits her phantom lover to come to her on St. Agnes' Eve, an old, mostly-forgotten Catholic holiday when young girls would be visited in the night by the spirit of a "phantom lover". Suddenly she feels beautiful eyes roving over her, and a whisper in her ear. "My little angel..."

A prequel to the darkly comedic Malice in Wonderland trilogy. A peek inside the minds of Alice and the other characters of Wonderland before she killed them.This volume follows Alice from the age of 7, where Lewis Carroll left off telling her story, to the age of 12. It doesn't detail everything that happened during that time, because frankly that would be boring, since mostly Alice served as a doormat to the citizens of Wonderland. (Don't worry, though, she gets her revenge when she turns 13.) Instead, the book hops around between certain key points in Alice's and the other characters histories, with each event linked to the next, not necessarily in chronological order.This book precedes Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin.Here's its blurb: Alice will get her heart back even if she has to kill everyone in Wonderland one by one...The truth is not what you were led to believe. Alice never left Wonderland. It wasn't all "just a dream."It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it.And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless.

You've been misled. Lewis Carroll didn't reveal the whole story... Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. If you're a fan of twisted fairy tales, you'll love this dementedly funny series, brought to you by the author of Dorothy vs. Alice. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically somebody steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the sadistic Queen of Hearts to the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat. And she's tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she'll be singing "unhappy birthday" loudly as she delivers violent justice! Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die...literally. It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one...

The faebots are working hard to revive Cabby's high school nemesis, Mackenzie, by downloading her data into the new faebot leader, who they're calling the "Mackenzie Aspirant." That's because she wants to become Mackenzie, just so she can ruin Cabby's life.Cabby and Darren struggle to find out where the data is being stored, so they can erase it before the faebots get to it. Because the last thing Cabby wants is all the drama that girl would bring into her life. She'd rather focus on her relationship with Darren, and, meanwhile, Darren would like to focus on Cabby, because he yearns to give her a ring to show how much she means to him. But rings are hard to come by in the world they find themselves in.

My little dominatrix . . .Dust can be such a bitch sometimes. Well, not just sometimes. All the time, but she wants to change. She has to if she ever wants to get back together with Machoponi. But other ponies and the Princess really try her patience sometimes. For one thing, the Dark Princess has decided to go preppy! Seriously, with the sweater tied around her neck and everything. She should be punished. For another thing, Brogene is annoying, as usual.So of course, the Princess sends her on a quest for caulk. But the quest turns into a sexual journey when the Sexual Awakening occurs, in which the repressed sexuality of all the creatures of Poniworld gets unrepressed.Dust starts exploring things, things like pleasure, pain, and punishment. Lots of punishment. But she has her pink Thong of Protection to protect her. (Though at one point she has to have it talked off her.) And she also learns to wield a magical riding crop she gets from a female Nazi she meets. She also meets Strawberry Spit-take, a girl with a spit-take fetish, a rhino in a tutu named Tipsy Gorer who wants to ban cock rock, Ms. Cap-Man, black-and-blueberries and Gardens of Pain!Poniworld is going through changes, and Dust is going through sexual exploration.This book is not for children, but it is not X-rated. More like PG-13. This ain't your grandma's erotic book about ponies!

Malice has to save her friends from the fairy tale parasites infesting their souls. They have each been combined with the fairy tale that bit them. This has caused them to become hybrids-the Mad Hatter, for instance, is now half Cinderella. To drive the fairy tale portion out, Malice has to drive a stake through their hearts. So, ironically, to save them, Malice essentially has to fight and kill her friends-the Mad Hatter, Tweedle twins, Humpty and the Knight. Hopefully, afterwards, Wonderland will finally get back to how it was before the twisted fairy tales came around.

Either love her or die. . . Alice has regained her heart and it's thumping in her chest. But she must not kill again, for with each additional murder, her heart grows blacker, her thoughts, once sweet and innocent, grow more vengeful and cruel, and her tears, once magical, grow more poisonous. She wants to set things right and reincarnate Humpty Dumpty and the Caterpillar and the Tweedle twins. But she seems to have a bad habit of killing that she can't seem to break. She doesn't want to kill them all over again, but sometimes these Wonderland idiots are really asking for it, don't you think? By the author of The Poniworld Chronicles and SinEaster.

Twisted fairy tale beings have been unleashed into Wonderland, and Queen Malice wants to kick them out.But the man known as the Storyteller wants to make a sick game of it all. So he sets up a series of challenges in which Malice and the Queen of Hearts must go up against the fairy tales.It's a demented and deadly game, in which Malice risks losing those she cherishes most-the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Tweedle Twins. Saving Wonderland from fairy tale infestation isn't going to be easy.

12-year-old Nina is an aspiring supermodel, actress and pop star who has everything going for her. Wealth. A magical scar down the side of her face. A fiance willing to do anything for her.All she needs now is fame. She's willing to do anything for it. Anything. Even kill for it. After all, she already has.Ordering her new fans around is a thrill, but it's not all fun and games. She has nightmares sometimes.Because she can't help but feel she has awakened dark forces.By the author of Malice in Wonderland.

From the author of Malice in Wonderland. Emilie is a supermodel battling with a bad childhood and alcoholism. When a handsome billionaire offers to photograph her, she has no idea her life will soon be in danger. Too late, she discovers that the girls he photographs are becoming suicidal. The billionaire decorates his walls with paintings of a scarred woman who was gorgeous before she was cut. Emilie realizes she must find out who that woman was if she ever hopes to survive. And she must figure out who the mysterious little girl was who visited her, the little girl with the scar on the side of her face. . .

In the final installment of the romantic sci-fi/fantasy Faerie Brace-Face Trilogy, Cabby's high school nemesis from the past has returned.Her name is Mackenzie and she's determined to not only ruin Cabby's life, but to steal Darren away from her as well!And so, Cabby and Darren find themselves returning to high school to replay certain key events between the two girls. And whoever ends up "winning" this time around will end up ruling over all of CabbyWorld. Of course, if Mackenzie wins, it will be renamed MackenzieWorld.But Cabby is not about to give up her power or her dear fiancé, Darren. Because she has plans to marry that sweet, dreamy boy and live happily ever after, as husband and wife, and King and Queen. And with no stupid Mackenzie!By the author of the Malice in Wonderland Saga.

The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn't want to deal with them. She vows to vanquish them in a whirlwind of fury and vitriol! Ahem. Anyway, then Malice's dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, Malice is forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She'll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though.Not-quite-right versions of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and even the Three Little Pigs make their appearances. And of course, her friends the Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and even the Cheshire Cat are along for the adventure.If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives.Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness.Killing Cinderella would be bad, right?

Queen Malice and her team set off toward Jabberwock Valley, where they hope to find a new body for their friend and teammate, the woefully decapitated Jabberwock. Their journey will no doubt be fraught with peril, but Malice is more concerned with the crushing withdrawals she's going through, due to running out of black rose. She hopes she can keep it together, despite her bouts of viciousness from a malfunctioning heart. Any further breakdowns could lead to very awkward social situations. And the team is stressed enough already, what with the agonies of a dramatic love triangle, and the threat of a powerful chief who wants to capture Malice, for reasons that aren't entirely clear yet. Can they arrive at Jabberwock Valley in one piece? And without Sleepy B committing a childish mistake requiring rescue? Or without the Cheshire Cat offending any of the team with his sharp tongue? Or without Malice breaking either the Mad Hatter's or Humpty's heart? No doubt something is bound to happen. Malice just hopes she can get through the whole nerve wracking mess without having to resort to any black rose "substitutes" along the way.

In this collection... A girl is taken off the streets to join a modeling agency, but things don't turn out as planned. Another young girl is forced to wear a chastity belt by her father. And two girls violently fight over a baby while babysitting. Includes the stories: The Murder of Hoppy Bunny, Babysitting Alicia, Beauty Blinds the Eyes, Mary's Chastity Belt, and The Girl Behind the Iron Chastity Belt. By the author of SinEaster and MachoPoni: A Prance with Death.

In this fantasy romance story, Todd falls for the beautiful girl who moves into the apartment next to him. She's definitely quirky, with a penchant for wearing blue eyeliner and a strange fondness for a little bonsai tree she keeps in her apartment. Todd yearns to speak to her, to ask her out, and to find out the reason for all her quirks. He even writes a poem about her: Beautiful maiden next door, You are the one I truly adore. Russet hair and luscious skin; Your heart do I desire to win. Pouty lips and eyes of green; Loveliest girl I've ever seen.

Now that Ember is no longer a child actor, her fame is waning and she needs a publicity stunt to revive it.So she decides to auction her virginity.But things start going downhill when the cohost of a morning show kills herself after Ember makes her announcement. Days later, Maggy, Ember's former costar, gets caught up in a sex tape scandal. And on top of that, Ember finds herself in fear of the billionaire who bid the highest in the auction.The stress causes her to struggle with her various addictions. But her greatest addiction is to fame. Is she willing to do what it takes to keep it?

Mortimer is an octopony-half octopus, half pony-who laughs at all the wrong times. But he wasn't laughing the day a gang of waterskiing squirrels kidnapped his girlfriend. He's a joker, not a fighter, but it turns out the Nazi ponies have discovered an alien spacecraft buried in ice. And so Morty ends up having to travel to the Arctic to foil a nefarious plot to unleash an alien supersoldier into Poniworld. Along the way, he meets a mermaid he helps release from the clutches of a bearded clam. He also meets Santa Claus and teams up with the reindeer for a mission to infiltrate the Arctic stronghold. It's all very exciting and dangerous, and so sometimes Morty has these giggle fits, but it's just because he's nervous, so please don't hold it against him.

In part 3 of the trilogy, Alice wins the Vorpal Fist, a weapon whose special power is to rip out the hearts of those who love the person wearing it. Oh, and there's a Russian roulette tea party and a shadow under a rainbow guillotine too! But here's the thing: everything has gone weird. Is it still 1865 up in here? Because Wonderland seems to have suddenly gone scifi and I daresay, steampunk... This all occurs during a twisted life-sized board game Malice the Heartless and Alice the Blackhearted find themselves trapped in. Who will win? And will Alice finally become a stealer of hearts and turn the tables on everyone?

Would you sell your soul for Glam Metal? Mötley Hüerd did. This bare-all autobiography follows their journey from Doo-wop band Moxie Scamps to their discovery of Glam Metal and their rise to fame, with all the debauchery and groupies that came with it. Warning: contains hard candy use, foul language, pony nudity and rough cuddling. By the author of SinEaster.

Meet Brogene, a very butch equine individual who enjoys wearing a sweater tied around his neck. He once had a very traumatic episode with a fire cheese doodle, so now he just wants to live a quiet undead life. But things are about to change for him. Yes, he must go on a quest for the Dark Princess. A quest for caulk. And so he sets off for Butch Valley, a mythical valley filled with mancaves where only the extremely butch are allowed. That means, no girls! When he gets there, he has to deal with blue creatures called the Funs and the only female in their village, an odd yellow guy named Cap-Man, and oh yeah, his greatest frenemy, Dust. And at one point he acquires a magical codpiece. But even though the codpiece is cool and all, Brogene doesn't like adventures and quests. It reminds him of the incident with the Flaming Red Giant's fire cheese doodle. It was how he died in the first place. And that was no fun. Maybe if he can get this quest over with, he can return to the loving arms of his Princess and go on being super-butch. If you want to, you can call him bro. He likes that. This book is not recommended for children. Guess why. Because this ain't your little sister's book about butch undead ponies! The events of this book overlap with Dust in Your Eyes: An Erotic Poni Tale.

This second stand-alone volume of the Poniworld Chronicles shifts its attention onto one of the most controversial figures in Poniworld history, Adolf Poni. Follow him as he goes from being a child with a love of dunking cookies in milk to being a murderous adult. Find out how a strawberry milk mustache led to mass murder. This account is humorous and horrific at the same time. For mature audiences. This ain't your little sister's book about Nazi ponies.

A pony plagued by her past. Dust wants to become better girlfriend material so Machoponi will take her back. So she decides to go on a vision quest on Halloween, led by a rat spirit guide in a Nerf cactus costume. She eats some cactus and begins to hallucinate. Her journey is about to begin, but where will it take her? It's like she is dust on the wind, or something. Warning: contains foul language, sexual situations, drug use and pony lesbianism.

5 tales: Bathing in the Blood of Virgins, Parts, Skinny-Dipping in the Abyss, The Princess and the Pretty Boi, and Nipples on Mannequins. Wanna read a story inspired by Elizabeth Bathory? One that explores what borders on necrophilia or may even be worse? Have you ever wondered why mannequins need nipples? Well, then, this collection is for you! For mature audiences. By the author of SinEaster.

In this strange faerie tale, Princess Leila is intrigued by the arrival of the mysterious Prince Gabriel, who comes from a kingdom where the queen sits upon the throne with a headless teddy bear. An assassination attempt by a headless knight sends them on a journey to save the prince's kingdom. The journey is complicated by a mischievous demon, and by Blondy, a rival for the prince's affections. Leila finds herself falling deeper for the prince, but soon discovers that the prince has strange secrets... By the author of SinEaster, MachoPoni, and Faerie Brace-Face.

Like a naughty Easter version of The Nightmare Before Christmas mixed with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. . .Don't let her habit of constantly wearing bunny ears fool you. Charlee hates Easter. And she has good reason to. So, on the day before her 18th birthday, she wasn't expecting to meet the Easter Bunny, a person-sized gummi egg, and a large toad. But that's what happens when she and two other teenagers are transported to Easter Land. Charlee ponders the teenage girl made out of gummi with huge boobs, and the teenage boy in a wheelchair with an overdeveloped upper body.A black-clad princess informs them that they must compete to decide which of the three creatures will be the future egg deliverer. But a mysterious man tied to a dark holiday known as SinEaster is also aware of the teens' arrival.Some say that in the days of prophesy, SinEaster will destroy Easter. Will Easter go on as usual, or will it be cancelled this year?By the author of Malice in Wonderland and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown.

In this raunchy comedy 18-year-old Charlee struggles to save XXXmas from having its X's lessened by the Grump. She faces pervy challenges in order to add an X at the end of each level. Can XXXmas be saved? Can Charlee be pervy enough? You're about to find out. Warning: Contains content that may be offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

In this romantic sci-fi/fantasy tale, Darren is a human boy who's fallen in love with a fairy girl named Cabby.So when Cabby is forced to wear braces and flees their village as a result, Darren has no choice but to follow the girl he loves, because he never wants to be without her in his life.He finds himself sucked into surreal adventures he hadn't expected, but he endures it all for his beloved Cabby.This book is a treat for your inner child, a fantastical, unapologetically playful fairy story that is always utterly romantic.This book is the first in a trilogy, followed by Revenge of the Faebots, and The Return of Mackenzie

Charlee Frown must struggle to prevent a holiday known as BlackHearts Day from taking hold. But then she starts thinking, maybe it's not so bad after all, because Valentine's Day really sucks. She's asked to star in a sappy Hall-mart Cards Valentine's television special. But then she learns about the origin of Valentine's Day, and the role of the Illuminati and Aleister Crowley in it...in cooperation with Hall-mart. Charlee is torn. What should she do? She just wants to be on TV!Can Valentine's Day be saved? By the author of SinEaster and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown.

Malice and the team have arrived at Jabberwock Valley, where they hope to thwart the Snark's diabolical plans. The times of prophesy are at hand, when great changes are in store for the jabberwocks. Soon, they may come under the rule of a new leader who shall lead them forward in conquest. They may even regain their ability to fly, if Malice and her team are successful. During the course of their adventures, Sleepy B seeks the truth about her mysterious past, while Jabby strives to regain his honor and his beloved vorpal blade. The two also further explore what exactly their strange relationship means. One thing is for certain. Lots of things are going to change very soon. The days of prophesy are at hand.

The decapitated Jabberwock's head is still functional--he just needs a new body. 15-year-old Queen Malice wants to help her buddy, Jabby, as she likes to call him. And so she plans a quest to Jabberwock Valley, where most of the other jabberwocks live. But Jabby isn't the only one they must help. Wonderland itself is in danger, because a creature known as the Snark threatens to reunite the monster tribes and revive a realm known as Woeland. So Malice works on assembling a team. Of course, the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Cheshire Cat will tag along. But the Knight still has a crippling fear of little girls. There are other complications. 11-year-old Sleeping Beauty wants to go on the quest as well. But most jabberwocks hate little girls. Jabberwock mothers even sing their babies "little-girls-goodbyes," which are like lullabies, except gorier. Malice also struggles with the intoxicating effects of the black rose. She finds herself taking more of the flower each day, and it's becoming harder to stop. Will they be able to thwart the Snark? And who is the mysterious "secret admirer" who sends Malice creepy notes via pigeon? And can she prove to the Knight that she no longer has any "little girlness" inside of her, by going through a series of the Knight's anti-little-girl challenges? Because it's the only way he'll join the team. And they'll need a lot of help if they ever hope to stop the Snark and survive their journey to Jabberwock Valley.