Bøger af Robin Anderson

Where LA DI DA DI BLOODY DA! ends another Tale begins! Diamond smuggling proves little challenge for Miz Miranda Maracona and Miz Kookie Kombuis, two outrageous transvestites (one so dark and one so fair!) or facing the villains determined to 'put a tranny in the works!' From London to the Namibian Desert, laughs and outrageous happenings abound. And if diamonds are not enough why not South America with the other "d" appearing to be the perfect antidote?

Briskly mix PAVONIA FASHION MAGAZINE and ATELIER PIEDI FAVOLOSO (an elegant Italian family business) along with a soupçon of MORTEM and POST (a private detective agency). Spice up with difficult, top fashion designer CYRIL CRISTAL. Add a dash of VESTAL VERONA, a highly temperamental not-quite-all-she-seems super model. The result - a delicious potpourri of unexpected happenings: some wild, some wonderful, some decidedly over-the-top and some unreservedly weird.Add a soupçon of an unpredictable kissogram along with a sprinkling of East End "bovver" and leave to simmer.Serve with a piquant sauce flavoured with a series of madcap events which take place in a drying up Venice (as opposed to the traditionally sinking one), a creepy, conniving Cape Town, and a Machiavellian-imbued London.Additional side "extras" include a wannabe Annie Oakley, and a sultry femme fatale named PETRONELLA who - aided and abetted by endless love and hisses - weaves a spell extraordinaire.After a first, tentative taste of PITS, PRIVATES, & FEET, the greedy gourmet will undoubtedly do an Oliver Twist and ask for more

Dapper dogs, dancing cats, elegant frogs, birds in fine feather -- even a suave pig and a dandy pelican fisherman -- these Victorian critters are definitely headed for the best-dressed list! Robin Anderson has done it again, with a unique collection of stained glass patterns based on whimsical Victorian animal images of the 1870's, 80's and 90's. Drawing from advertising trade cards, greeting cards, and children's illustrations, Anderson has created a one-of-a-kind collection of delightful, fanciful "critters" that are sure to capture your imagination. This book is packed with sure-fire gift ideas and panels you won't be able to resist crafting for your own windows -- plus a host of helpful tips that will enable you to bring these enchanting "personalities" to life!

A sumptuous feast of savoury and unsavoury delights. A menu of magical memoirs and acerbic abattoirs accompanied by a cocktail of acidic pollutants and a frank "behind the scenes" look at the so-called glamorous world of interior design. Ingredients include a pinch of Sellers (Peter); a soupçon of Price (Vincent); a whisper of Warhol (Andy); a touch of spice with a Duchess and a Headless Man; a healthy dollop of Colman's mustard (Benedict James); a twist of Trump (Ivana); a kiss of Kismet (Dolores Gray); a French dish not quite Ooh La La!; portions of Peerage; a "sachet" of Diamond Lil; lashings of Lee (Christopher); a Browne sauce (Coral); recipes from Italy, India, Mexico and South America; a trace of Toulouse-Lautrec; a quota of queens and more: much more. An "Out of Africa" experience but with a difference.

BEL RAGAZZO -BEAUTIFUL BOY - ? - I was beautiful, so unbelievably beautiful: the most beautiful boy in Europe. "Beau garcon," they'd whisper as I walked through the Place Vendome in Paris. "I am beautiful" I would say to myself, a slight smile playing on my rose-coloured, sculpted lips as I made my way down London's uber-fashionable Bond Street. "Bel ragazzo," they would murmur excitedly as I sashayed - blond head held high - along the Via Veneto in Rome. Yes indeed: the most beautiful boy whose countenance, graceful carriage and exquisite manners would eventually prove themselves to be nothing more than an inganno lordo or gross deception.

Can the combination of living in MANSON MEW, the renamed THE CORPSE (as opposed to its original THE COPSE) and a cheery nursery rhyme which sinisterly becomes a nasty rhyme ever be excused for the subsequent horrors they create? According to CRISPIN CATCHPOLE and his partner MYLES GOLDEN the answer is a resounding "Yes!" However, unbeknown to CRISPIN his very own "Daddy Dearest" - aka CHRISTOPHER CATCHPOLE -has ideas of his own. Ideas, which aided and abetted by this ruthless "clean up" team, make names such as MANSON and THE CORPSE pale into insignificance. For when the Three Little Piggies meet the Three Vees - VENOM, VITRIOL and VENGEANCE - the reader has no alternative but to grim and bear it!

Revenge is a dish best served cold, they say, but some like it hot - body hot! In ROBIN ANDERSON'S latest foray into sex crime, we cruise downriver from Chelsea Harbour to Canary Wharf and Wapping, where gay gallery owner Raymond Bartholomew stages a spectacular "Revenge" themed art show set up via the Internet. Its sell-out success blesses Raymond and his camp coterie with new horizons, new lovers and new sources of wealth. But before you can say "blackmail", the exhibitors' subjects start falling dead like flies - but in the most bizarre circumstances. Who's the latter-day "canvas Ripper? Could it be the colonic-inspired Anonymous Bosch or the heinous hand behind a group hara-kiri? Maybe even the "stitched-up" Man Ray or the evil inspiration behind Velasquez-inspired death camp? Once again ROBIN ANDERSON'S heady cocktail of gourmandising and extreme sex is calculated to titillate, amuse and enthral. But be aware, dear readers, that some passages have loads to be desired, while others are positively inflammatory! Forewarned is forearmed!

Cats fascinate us in everything they do. Whether they're hunting, playing, stalking, sleeping, or just staring out the window, they do it with style! And now stained glass artist Robin Anderson has captured the many facets of a cat's life in "It's a Cat's Life!" -- a stunning new collection of stained glass patterns. Now, you can create panels of cats doing what cats do best -- sleeping, bathing, playing, and, yes, staring out the window. This book offers 30 vivid, detailed, and most of all, realistic patterns of cats and kittens, featuring a variety of breeds and colorings. Celebrate the cat -- and the cat lover in you -- with "It's a Cat's Life!"

Beautiful but decadent twins Sebastian and Seline are brought up on an idyllic estate by the sea in Kwazulu, South Africa. Suikerbos is a veritable Garden of Eden but tainted by an evil boomslang - or serpent - in the form of Grandpa "Shaka" Tyson. What he puts the twins through is unforgiveable, but the two young artists and secret lovers go on to launch themselves successfully in London, South America, Rome and Cape Town. However, there's something about their "body art" that's a tad too real... Will their guilty past catch up with them? Will the glitz fall away and the bare bones be revealed? Read on ... and discover corners of human behaviour you never believed existed! Despite all the exotic locations and steamy, all-ports-open sex in this psycho "chiller" thriller, there's a serious issue at stake. It concerns one's identity in a modern, frenetic society where people change places, occupations and lovers.

Billionaire slayboy Treyton Templeton's ambitions hold no horizons. Albeit a Roman Emperor, a Scottish king, a Dueño del Rancho, or a souvenir collector extraordinaire: the flamboyant, ruthless, narcissistic, hedonistic young man a living exemplification of who scares wins.From his sumptuous Italian villa, Villa Jovis Il Secondo, his spectacular Manorken Estate with its questionable Colosseum Treyton Templeton, his Highland castle with its private terracotta army, to his spell-binding Argentinian Rancho Tourney Templeton (named in honour of Tournedos, his loyal, boleadoras licking four-legged friend), Treyton Templeton continues to blithely sow the evil which he so delights to reap. After all, he is omnipotent.However, will long-standing rival, wealthy South African wine grower, Brian Van der Westhuizen, finally win the day, or will it be teenage Wonder Woman, Charlotte (Charlie) Hoopes and her two loyal accomplices, who go for gold.With a colourful cast of technicolour characters, each determined to out-play Treyton Templeton in his heinous games: who scares wins is the only answer.

MIZ M and MIZ K display panache albeit kidnapped by wicked Somali pirates. A hunt for reclaimed sunken treasure find the intrepid duo cast-literally-as pearls cast before fiendish "swine" in their determination to find the missing horde

When Kabuki meets Noël Coward, thereby interrupting several "PRIVATE LIVES"-plus several equally "DEVIOUS PLOTS"-can this possibly mean the outrageous MIZ MIRANDA MARACONA and MIZ KOOKIE KOMBUIS are at it again? The answer is a resounding "YES!"

The outrageous Miz M and Miz K - "We are transvestites of taste! Never tackiness!"- travel to Africa to save a safari park and its elephants. Aided by Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell and Liz Taylor what could possibly go wrong? Will the capricious Maharaja of Muchkokforsur and his evil henchman Ramatuli manage to "throw a tranny in the works" when attempting to halt these determined "ladies" in their quest?

A chance meeting through the unsavoury village shopkeeper Jago Peters sees the beginning of an unfathomable relationship between the loutish teenager Frank Frear ("That's 'fear' with an additional 'r'") and the younger, sophisticated Marcus Healan. A decade later the ruthlessly ambitious London-based Marcus invites Frank to assist him in establishing himself as numero uno in the cut-throat world of publishing, resulting in the two creating their own "bestseller" wherein fourteen unsuspecting souls (who previously "did them wrong") become unexpected Valentine's Day "gifts" delivered to their respective present day partners, lovers, companions or work colleagues on the actual day. A teaser of "things to come" are the grisly displays involving seven of the fourteen "donors" who - in poses reminiscent of Hieronymus Bosch's unpalatable The Apocalypse - are randomly discovered by an understandably shocked Joe Public. Whether such munificence leads to a happy or a surprise ending, only Marcus or Frank know the answer.

Blame it all on the words RAUNCH or UNIVERSAL, otherwise why and how do the paths of an agent - hell bent on revenge - two males models, a Sophia Loren lookalike, a vindictive international photographer, a garrotte, a mysterious, white paste and Queen Elizabeth the First inevitably cross and sometimes double cross? One clue may lie in Venice, another in Udaipur or even the Amazon jungle, but it all follows a vicious encounter between the Sophia Loren lookalike and an art student more interested in the delights of acrimony than art. Add to this a champion "rugger bugger," a fashion designer with a chip on his shoulder bigger than any "Dynasty" shoulder pad and the nail-biting "fun" starts to unravel!

Who is considered the greatest male ballet dancer since Vaslav Nijinsky? Korean dancer Myung Pak or Ukrainian dancer Ivan Gischenko? Who is considered to be the new Pavlova? British ballerina Bettina Bellité or the uber-mysterious Swanhilde?Who is considered the most cunning of men since Machiavelli? Russian oligarch Abagor Yeltsin, Korean Kwan Nam or Yong-Sun Mok, leader of Seoul's notorious Rat Snake Gang?But the question to end all questions: what outrageous events occur when all cross paths or - more accurately - swords with each other?Expect endless grand jetés, devious doings, murder, mayhem and more in this rollicking rollercoaster ride of tears, tantrums and wicked laughs as dashing hero Dick Turpin and the ravishing Rupert Anstruther endeavour to turn the ensuing mountains back into molehills. Even the endlessly toiling sulky Sisyphus and his tiresome boulder couldn't help but be impressed.

Scriptwriter Oliver and actor Jamie set wheels a rolling upon their startling discovery Kurt is cavorting with not just them, but also with their fathers! Revenge is dish best served scorching, and the plot and cast of charming and not-so-charming characters rise to a boil with the addition of high school bullies, a hot porn star, a Lyons' den, television drama, Cannes-bound film, and the trendiest in coifs of the day. Madness, murder, and mayhem ensue, along with love, lust, and a dash of blackmail. Set in London, South Africa, and Italy, this madcap romp into the dark side of 'daddies dearest', includes stops along the way for hilarity, makeovers, marriage, divorce, and, of course, Dilly, the dildo

In the tale of Cinderella the heroine only has two ugly sisters and an ugly stepmother to contend with: whereas in High Jinks in High C, young Dot Brownstone, the heroine (later to metamorphose into the highly ambitious Narcissa Defarge), finds herself having to deal with not only a pair of wearisome, adoptive parents and a zealous, over-possessive childhood friend but more - much more. Enter the dashing young Baron Pieter Listig Maritz (himself a metamorphosis extraordinaire) and Narcissa soon finds herself caught up in a world of wicked uncles, aunts, questionable acquaintances, double-crossing lovers and unparalleled intrigue.Throw in a talented, songstress daughter, a fairy tale castle, a tropical island, a vengeful murder or two and let the high jinks in a very discordant High C begin.

Who needs Hans Christian Andersen now you have Robin Anderson's JAN UNLEASHED! Forget a mundane swan and overindulge in Jan VB Perdoza's swansong instead. A chance meeting with legendary photographer Bazil Bruno sees - along with a great many feathers being ruffled along the way - the emergence of a second photographer phenomenon, the outrageous Jan VB Pedroza. From dumpy schoolgirl to international star JAN UNLEASHED! follows Janet's breathtaking - and sometimes "bra taking" - progress. Aided and abetted by the likes of Denny, French artist Francois Bruno and most of all her devoted childhood friend Harry, Jan VB Pedroza leaves no stone unturned (or bra unburned!). From rampant bullfighters; steamy sitar players; testosterone-infused taxi drivers; a pool man; a President and a Wolf Creek scenario to deter even the most stalwart of souls, the original ugly duckling now Jan VB "Unleashed!" Pedroza with her The Angle and The Dangle conquers all.

What makes ANDERS different? Could it be the mysterious cousin, the supposed second cousin-or more? And what does the desperate message "FIND RORY" mean? It takes LARS and TORSTEIN, aided and abetted by ANNIE, along with TOBY, DAVID, and VARG to set matters in motion. What is HILLY HILBOROUGH'S story and will he or won't he turn the tables on SPECTER, WESTFIELD, et al? The key to ANDERS' "difference" is conniving ELIZABETH GUDMUNDSEN and the avaricious THINUS VAN RENSBURG. Add the relevance of a severed sheep's head plus a box of peppermint creams and you'll still be none the wiser unless you "read all about it"!

SHE MARRIED A ZOMBIE TRUCK DRIVER and FIVE OTHER "TRUCKING" TALES mischievously incorporates THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS (in actuality there are EIGHT) in this sumptuous feast of "unsavoury delights". With each tale containing the relevant "ingredients" (greed, envy, anger, laziness, gluttony, lust, pride and despondency) the reader is left satiated and in a state of blissful euphoria with the tantalising thought - "There with the grace of LUCIFER could go I!" Does the beautiful, avaricious CLAUDETTE CAVIL-CARTER sincerely believe she "can take it with her" when she makes her final exit? Will marrying the musky, virile trucker TOM (TATTOO) EDWARDS help her in fulfilling her ambitious quest? The reader - whatever his or her tastes - is guaranteed a menu of six appetising tales (each in its own very special "unsavoury" sauce) skilfully executed and catering for all. As for the "sneaky"...

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" "Turn away, Miss Shelagh La Verne For reflected grief will see you yearn Yearn for those glorious days of yore When lovers cried 'Shelagh! More, more, more!' Those flames are dead; no longer kindled Your lonely ashes with tears are mingled."

"You can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family!" Harper Lee's immortal quote from To Kill a Mockingbird is happily changed to "You can choose your friends but I couldn't have chosen a better family," by tiny heroine Madeleine (Maddy) Marie Jensen when referring to her 'Divoon Daddy', a feeling heartily endorsed by Maddy's twelve year-old fiancé, Harry, and an endearment which leads the two through a tale of riotous fun, mystery, and mayhem. Thus follows a series of unprecedented happenings, taking the two and their subsequent offspring, on an unparalleled rollercoaster ride from London's glamorous Belgravia and Chelsea to a not so Gay Paree, and on to the so-called tranquillity of Cape Town and the exotic-but sinister-Caribbean. Along the way, they encounter a plethora of " characters: Maddy's mother, the outrageous ex-stripper, Marie "Desiree" Jensen, a widow of unfathomable wealth (her passion for pink and parties causing apoplexy amongst her stuffy, grandiose neighbours); Marie's constant companion from the 'good old days', the dipso Dolores Mayo, and her on-off lover Georgio "Jig-a-Jig" Demarco; the fey but ruthless interior designer, Timothy Sanders-Snype; the dark and devious Tembo, whose skills with his maracas are legendary; and the double-dealing Michael Cole. All ensure that there is never a dull moment in Robin Anderson's latest adventure romp. You have been warned-nobody is quite what they seem!

"Best In Show" offers stained glass artists a beautiful array of patterns for purebred dogs in a variety of poses - from portraits to panels, classic to playful. The book features 35 patterns representing all seven AKC groups. Patterns are available for every level of expertise.

TALE ONE: THE ADVENTURES OF MAISIE THE MEERKAT & BUNTI THE BUSHBABY - THE RESCUE OF THE QUEEN OF SHEBA'S JEWELS.A wicked plan by the even more wicked CHIEF KIMBULLI to steal THE QUEEN OF SHEBA'S JEWELS from her Jewel House in the ancient city of ZIMBABWE is not clever enough for young ARGO and his friends, MAISIE THE MEERKAT and BUNTI THE BUSHBABY. With the help of CORNELIUS the crocodile and VICTOR, a Velvet Monkey and his monkey team, the VEE VEES (the VICTORIOUS VELVETS!) CHIEF KIMBULLI'S so-called clever plan quickly ends up in disaster and the jewels safely returned. TALE TWO: THE ADVENTURES OF FI THE FIREFLY & MOMBASSA THE MILLIPEDE - THE FOILING OF HIDEOUS & HEIDI THE HYENAS' HORRIBLE PLOT.A special concert organised to celebrate ZIM DAY and held in the presence of The Queen of Sheba, proves to be in danger due to a nasty plan organised by HIDEOUS and HEIDI the HYENAS, assisted by VICTOR THE VULTURE and his team of ugly vultures (THE VILES) to sabotage the glamorous event. Thanks to FI THE FIREFLY, MOMBASSA THE MILLIPEDE, PERCY THE PORCUPINE and other friends their nasty plan is soon put into disarray.TALE THREE: WARRIS THE ALBINO WARTHOG WINS THE DAY!WARRIS the albino WARTHOG wins the day when he shows WITHERSPOON and WENDI, his brother and sister who are forever teasing him about his pale colouring (WARRIS being a pale pink as opposed to a WARTHOG's usual muddy brown), you shouldn't judge a book by its cover in the same way you shouldn't judge a WARTHOG by his colour!TALE FOUR: THE ADVENTURES OF LUCY THE BABOON & CHARLIE THE CHEETAH.DAVID and his friend PHINEAS - on discovering they can speak Baboon Speak with LUCY, DAVID'S pet BABOON and Cheetah Speak with CHARLIE, DAVID'S pet CHEETAH - soon find themselves caught up in the rescue of both LUCY'S and CHARLIE'S relatives caught up on the many islands formed by the rising waters of the new KARIBA DAM built across the mighty ZAMBEZI RIVE

This is where it all began for Miz M and Miz K, Robin Anderson's glorious "transvestites of taste, never tackiness".Join them for the adventures of a lifetime that include doppelgängers, trannys, ladyboys and princesses, lovelorn royalty, and lusty men.

Gladiator meets Brideshead Refisted in this rough and tumble foray into the glitzy world of London's gay porn industry. Once again the author reveals an acute insight into his subject - from every angle, it seems - and writes as wittily as ever, stretching the membranes of the mother tongue to encompass puns pleasure zones few would dare explore. Based in Earl's Court, Chelsea and Belgravia, with sorties to Henley-on-Thames and Cape Town, Versus shows that when two film crews go to war - one headed by glamorous fag hag Camilla Galsworthy with enormous actor Abel Semen in tow - you have Glitzkrieg! On and off set its Backbite Macht Frei as the sparks fly and fists are raised, this time in anger... and when several porn stars are put out of action by a nipple mutilator, it takes all Detective "Pucker" Unsworth's versatility to collar the perpetrator. Here's a bedtime read with a difference. Get yourself a cup of cocoa or a glass of wine, a tissue or two and a copy of Versus - and enjoy.

The saying "What goes around comes around" does so with a vengeance when a parade of characters from 2014 BC decide - much to the consternation of dashing archaeologist DOUGLAS "DIGGER" GOWDOWN - to reappear in 2014 AD. Along with his voluntary trio of not so little helpers, the outrageous MIZ M and MIZ K ("We are transvestites of taste; never tackiness!") and their new best friend, the equally outrageous ATHENA BERMONDSEY-BUMPER, the dashing DIGGER has to brace up - and face up - to a challenge like never before. It all begins with the evil Oracle EVILSUT, aided and abetted by the scheming ACROPOLET, deciding to rid Ancient Egypt of the petulant, plotting PRINCE TETATET and his ambitious uncle, the nasty and notorious HATCHETTET. Could it be their scheming and wrongdoings just happen to "reincarnate" themselves in the forms of modern Egypt's smoothie, "KING" SOLOMON and his crooked cronies? Could this perhaps - Osiris forbid! - include the twenty two-timing SVETLANA in an AD role as SOLOMON'S SHEBA? And what about the narcissistic NAZARI, show-off surpremo who, when not astride a camel, rides around in a pink Rolls Royce convertible? With characters such as the gigantic SAGHEER, KHABEER and the light-fingered (and footed) FREDDIE FOXTROT, the three intrepid ladies find themselves swept up in a (sand) storm of awesome proportions which even overshadows the discovery of four, towering, jewel-encrusted gold obelisks in the tomb that never was. These so-called "proportions" include a camel race unlike any other, a modern day airport muscle tussle matched only by an ancient felucca tussle and last, but not least, the ups and downs of the four chirruping love birds, the ancient KARTOOM and his eternal companion WANKET, along the athletic ASHAI and his lotus-like TAHIRAH. As CLEOPATRA said with a g'asp, "Never rile the Nile!"

Aggressive "no holds barred" entrepreneur RODNEY SWALLOW sees The Seven Ages of Man ruthlessly reduced to four; The Initial Step followed by The Climb, followed by The Platform and "If you don't watch your effing step, an effing Swallow Dive!" Ambitious young actor ROBERT CROZIER ("smutty putty" in RODNEY SWALLOW'S grasping hands) joins equally young artist ALFIE QUIMM and fashionista sensation, the rainbow striped ZIN for their Initial Step followed by their Climb; the three finally reaching their ultimate goal, The Diving Platform. But will they stay there or end up in the humiliating Swallow Dive? A top cast of colourful characters including the Machiavellian CHETWIN GODWIN a producer, director extraordinaire; the awesome Mr SAMUEL KHAYETLISHA, South Africa's answer to America's BIG ARNIE; the vodka marinated restaurateur NORMAN WRAY; dashing dilettante RICHARD "DICKIE" DUNKETT and the formidable MAGDA MAMAZULON, owner of the famous Bond Street gallery bearing the same name, are only a few other ambitious souls who proceed to make, break or even destroy the three determined climbers. Backdrops for the unfolding scenarios feature the cities of London and Bristol, the historic city of Bath (What really does go on behind those elegant Regency facades?), Italy's spectacular Cinque Terre and glitzy Monte Carlo. While Swallow Dive may be seen to be as kaleidoscopic as an ALFIE QUIMM painting; ZIN'S shaven, multi-coloured striped head or CHETWIN GODWIN'S spectacular production of Little Boy Blew, behind all the glamour and glory there runs a darker side, a veritable river of Lethe with Swallow Dive necessitating an extra deep breath before the reader takes the plunge.

Rediscover the Roaring Twenties a hundred years on where the likes of Al Capone and Pretty BoyFloyd are replaced by their twenty-first century equivalents: the sinister Jason Li, the artistic TylerHobart, Sammi (I do more than sing for my supper) Sing and more. It is here the FIVE CABALLEROS -as opposed to Walt Disney's original THREE - learn to their cost that five into three does not go.With three wannabe bilionairesses determined on achieving such gilded roles - their ambitions aidedand abetted by the sartorial duo of Tyler Hobart and Ashley Wicks - the determined trio soondiscover what begins as a fun-filled quest quickly changes to a horror-filled fest.From sunny Portofino to Jack the Ripper's grisly London and from Texas with its chainsaws to Rio deJaneiro and its swinging boldeodoras the valiant three - Maddy Swanson, Tracy Bussell and CherryArcher - do their utmost to prove that three into two can go. Will-they-or-won't-they? That is the question