Humor samlinger og antologier

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Some sample anecdotes:¿ In 1912, Margaret Higgins Sanger wrote about such topics as conception and sexually transmitted diseases in a series of articles titled "What Every Girl Should Know." These articles were published in the radical newspaper The Call. Unfortunately, the United States Postal Service confiscated the issue of The Call that included the article on sexually transmitted diseases. The next issue of The Call included another article on "What Every Girl Should Know." However, the text of that article stated, "NOTHING, by order of the Post-Office Department."¿ Where some college athletes get their grades can be a mystery. Truett "Rip" Sewell, who later became a professional baseball pitcher, played sports at Vanderbilt, but the academics were too tough for him, and he dropped out. Two weeks later, he ran into English professor Dr. Eddie Mims, who asked how he was doing. Mr. Sewell explained that he had dropped out and hadn't been to class in two weeks. Dr. Mims said, "That's impossible! We had an exam yesterday, and I passed you!"¿ At a hospital in England, nurses lent small children teddy bears for as long as they were in the hospital. However, the teddy bears tended to leave the hospital along with the children, although the teddy bears were supposed to stay behind so they could cheer up other ill children. The nurses found a creative way to keep the children from taking the teddy bears. They put a bandage on each teddy bear and convinced the children that the teddy bears had to stay in the hospital so they could get well.¿ As a very young girl, modern dance pioneer May O'Donnell found confessing her sins a "trial." The problem was not that she had horrible sins to confess. Instead, the problem was that she couldn't think of any sins she needed to confess - so she used to make up sins to confess to the priest.

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Some Sample Anecdotes:¿ John Steinbeck always toasted Ava Gardner whenever he began to drink. Here's the story: While Mr. Steinbeck was in Hollywood working as a scriptwriter, he got a call from Nunnally Johnson's wife inviting him to a party and asking if he would escort Ava Gardner. Mr. Steinbeck was agreeable, but he later received another call saying that Ms. Gardner was ill and could he escort Ann Southern instead. Once again, he was agreeable, and so he escorted Ms. Southern and her chaperone, Elaine Scott, to the party. Mr. Steinbeck and Ms. Southern dated a few times, but one night Ms. Southern was busy and so she asked him to take care of Elaine. Mr. Steinbeck took Elaine out, discovered he really liked her, and he later married her. That's why he always began his drinking by saying, "Here's to Ava Gardner."¿ Briefly, comedian Jay Leno was a member of the Boy Scouts. His scoutmaster was determined to get parents involved in the organization, although many of them did not want to get involved. The scoutmaster even gave Jay's father a bunch of merit badges and asked for help in administering tests and giving the merit badges out to the scouts. Reluctant to be involved, Jay's father asked the scouts, "What kind of tree is that over there?" Because apples were hanging from the tree's branches, they quickly identified the tree, and Jay's father started handing five or six merit badges to each scout - including merit badges that had nothing to do with tree identification. When the scoutmaster saw the merit badges being worn by the scouts, he angrily started ripping them off the scouts' uniforms. Shortly thereafter, Jay stopped being a scout.¿ Sometimes, homosexuals are accepted by people who seem unlikely to accept them - even people they have been warned not to come out to because it might kill them. A gay man from an Italian Catholic family was visiting his 81-year-old grandmother while she was watching soap operas, and suddenly she pointed to an actor and said, "Isn't he beautiful?" He looked surprised, so she said, "I'm not stupid, you know. I know you don't like girls." Then she smiled and added, "I watch all of the talk shows. I know what's going on in the world." Finally, the gay man was able to say, "Grandma, I'm gay, and I was afraid to tell you." She told him, "When you get to be my age, a lot of things don't bother you that used to bother you. You realize that a lot of things aren't important enough to get upset over. What's important is that people are happy."¿ Columnist Ann Landers once asked her female heterosexual readers whether they preferred cuddling to the act of lovemaking. A majority preferred cuddling. Curious, writer Gail Sausser asked a lesbian friend whether she preferred cuddling to the act of lovemaking. The friend was shocked by the question: "What do you mean? Cuddling is part of the act - sex is affectionate!"

The heartwarming and hilarious part-memoir, part-guide from comedian and father-of-six Ashley Blaker, on parenting, adoption and raising children with special needs.

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Samples:¿ Songwriter Steve Earle also occasionally acts. To prepare for a role as a recovering junkie in the HBO TV series The Wire, he allowed his hair to grow long and he didn't shave. The preparation worked well. Although he was staying at a swanky hotel in London when The Times' Stephen Dalton interviewed him in August of 2007, he looked very much like a homeless person. In fact, he said, "The other day I noticed the homeless guys that pick up the tin cans on my street, before the recycling people come, they started protecting their cans as I walked past. They thought I was competition."¿ Early in their career, the Ramones played in London on July 4, 1976. Some cool kids who called themselves The Clash hung around during a sound check before the concert and talked to the members of the band, mentioning that they played music, too, but weren't good enough to play in public. Johnny Ramone told them, "Are you kidding? I hope you're coming tonight. We're lousy. We can't play. If you wait until you can play, you'll be too old to get up there. We stink, really. But it's great." (Of course, this is a great example of punk rock's DYI - Do It Yourself - attitude.) The concert made headlines. A tabloid used the headline "Glue Sniff Shocker" because one Ramones' song was titled "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue." This amused bass player Dee Dee Ramone, who said, "I hope they really don't think we sniff glue. I quit when I was eight."¿ Country singers Tim McGraw and Faith Hill became attracted to each other while performing in their Spontaneous Combustion tour in 1996. Right before going on stage, Tim proposed to Faith, who didn't answer right away. But when Tim returned to his dressing room after singing on stage, he found Faith's answer written on his dressing room mirror: "YES!"¿ Giacomo Puccini enjoyed hunting pheasant. While living in the country so he could work on composing a new opera, he used to hire someone to go to his composing room and play the music he had written so that his wife would think that he was working on the opera when he was really out hunting.

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK (humor is hard!), but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends.Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism.Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking.Some Samples:¿ Johnny Brewton is the creator behind the zine X-Ray, each issue of which consists of 226 copies, each one at least slightly different. It was definitely an artistic project, and lifetime subscribers included the J. Paul Getty Museum, the rare book department of S.U.N.Y. at Buffalo, and the University of Wisconsin. One contributor was Hunter S. Thompson, who helped create the cover of X-Ray #4 by putting on lipstick and kissing a few copies and by shooting a bullet through every copy. (The cover was a photograph of Marilyn Chambers holding a box of Ivory Snow.) Another contributor to X-Ray was Charles Bukowski, who impressed Mr. Brewton with his work ethic: Mr. Brewton wrote Mr. Bukowski on a Monday requesting some poems, and by that Saturday - not even a week later - he received an envelope containing some poems. Mr. Brewton says about Mr. Bukowski, "I was amazed at how generous he was - he really gave back a lot and supported small presses; he taught me a lot about professionalism and deadlines. He was always on time." Yet another contributor was Timothy Leary. Mr. Leary's publicist, however, in a phone conversation told Mr. Brewton, "Mr. Leary has to charge one dollar per word for articles and stories. Are you sure you want to do this?" Because the zine made basically zero money, Mr. Brewton sarcastically replied, "That fits my budget perfectly! I'll buy one word." The publicist asked, "Which word do you want?" Mr. Brewton replied, "I don't know. Have Mr. Leary decide." The publicist spoke to Mr. Leary, and Mr. Brewton overheard Mr. Leary say, "That's great! Yes! I pick the word 'Chaos' - that's my piece!" Mr. Brewton titled the work "A One Word Dosage from Dr. Timothy Leary" and put a card saying "Chaos" inside a pill envelope - each of the 226 copies of the issue contained the one-word contribution.¿ In her autobiography, I'm Not Making This Up, You Know, Anna Russell writes that sometimes during performances she used to wear a gown that had "a big pouffe of tulle at the back of the skirt, making a little train." During an appearance in San Francisco, her accompanist accidentally stepped on the train, pulling out the long length of tulle. Much later, during an appearance in London, Ms. Russell was wearing the same dress, but she had a new accompanist, whom she forgot to warn about her train. Once again, her accompanist accidentally stepped on her train, pulling out the long length of tulle. After the performance, an American sailor came backstage and said that he enjoyed her work, but he especially enjoyed the part at the end, when her accompanist stepped on her train. Ms. Russell explained that that had been an accident, not part of the show, but the sailor replied, "The h*ll it was an accident. I saw you do it in San Francisco."¿ American dance pioneer Ted Shawn came up with an original way to stop obesity in the United States. Simply require everyone to stand for one hour per year naked in public - vanity would soon make obesity vanish.

This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these:¿ George Jessel was known as the Toastmaster of the United States because he spoke at so many dinners and gave so many elegies at funerals. He once observed a number of veterans at a dining room in a hotel. They had fought together, and some had been injured in battle, including a man who could no longer speak. At the table was an empty chair for one of their fellows who had been killed in battle. One by one they made a toast to their fallen comrade and drank. When it was his turn to make a toast, the veteran who could not speak stood up, raised a glass to the empty chair, then sat down, and all drank. Mr. Jessel says, "It was the most eloquent toast I've ever witnessed."¿ Syndicated columnist Connie Schultz, who lives in Ohio, remembers a group of children who attended a school near where she then lived. Each day after school they visited an orange cat named Tim-Tom. One day, Tim-Tom was not in his owners' driveway - he had died. His owners, Marianne and Paul Carey, saw the children looking for Tim-Tom, and so they posted his picture and obituary on a lamppost: "We would sadly like to let the neighborhood know that our dutiful Tim-Tom passed away on Sat. at age 18 years and 2 months. He is peacefully resting in our garden." The children wrote letters of condolence and left them under the lamppost.When Sam Kinison died, lots of comedians showed up at his funeral and talked about him. Richard Belzer emceed, and Pauly Shore talked about how Sam used to be his babysitter. Comedian (and Sam's best friend) Carl Labove had been with Sam when he died, and he spoke-but briefly, as he started to cry. Mr. Belzer helped him from the podium and led him to a chair, but suddenly Mr. Labove broke away from Mr. Belzer, ran back to the podium, and announced, "By the way, I'll be at Iggy's all week! Two shows Friday, three Saturday!" I'm sure that Sam would have loved it.Donald Ogden Stewart once told a harrowing story to a society lady about how his sloop had been capsized and he had to struggle for his life and was in danger of drowning near the Clews' house-at this point the society lady interrupted by asking, "How are the Clews?"

A hilarious collection of naval aviator call sign origin stories as told by USMC fighter pilot Ben "Lobo" Taggart.

This tongue in cheek cartoon guide covers all aspects of gardening, from how to make a hole in the frozen fish pond to how to get your mower out of the shed, and includes a calendar of essential work throughout the year.

"Chef's special. Someone's always cookin' up fun, and often trouble, in the Arbuckle home. Whether it's one of Jon's half-baked ideas or mischievous Garfield stirring the pot, it all boils down to an entertaining time for fans"--Back cover.

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Some samples:1) Blues singer Muddy Waters first heard his voice on a recording in the early 1940s. His impression of his voice was positive; afterward, he said, "I thought, man, this boy can sing the blues. And I was surprised because I didn't know I sang like that."2)At age 13, William F. Buckley was sent to an English boarding school, where his piano teacher offered to teach him the first movement of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata." However, William's old piano teacher had warned him that playing the "Moonlight Sonata" before one was ready was simply wrong; therefore, he wrote her for permission to learn to play its first movement. Quickly, he received a letter from her in reply, and she did not give him permission to learn the first movement. She explained that if one was unable to learn the third and difficult movement, then one should not learn the first movement. She also explained that the first movement required a "maturity" that William was too young to have acquired. Mr. Buckley writes that this letter helped teach him that "good music is a very serious business."3) Herman's Hermits was a very popular pop group in the 1960s, recording such hits as "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter," "Dandy," and "I'm Henry VIII, I Am." These days, they perform before nostalgic audiences often consisting of women in their 40s and 50s. According to lead singer Peter Noone, "Girls used to throw underwear at us. We still get some, but it's bigger than it used to be." 4) World-renowned conductor Pierre Monteux was once denied a room at a hotel, but when the manager discovered that Mr. Monteux was famous, he said that he could arrange a room for him because Mr. Monteux was "somebody." Mr. Monteux refused the room and departed, saying, "Everybody is somebody."

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK (humor is hard!), but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends.This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these:¿ Starting out as a stand-up comedian can be tough. Dallas comedian Sherry Belle remembers getting laughs her first time on stage; unfortunately, the audience was laughing at all the wrong places. For example, she finished a joke, but the audience didn't laugh, so she said, "That was the punch line." That made the audience laugh.¿ While working at Darmstadt, Rudolf Bing knew a comedian who was completely bald, but had three wigs with different lengths of hair. The comedian would wear the short-haired wig for a while, then the medium-haired wig. When he finally put on the long-haired wig, he would tell everyone he needed a haircut. Whenever the comedian began to wear the short-haired wig again, everyone complimented him on his haircut.¿ Between 1935 and 1940, Buster Keaton was making films in foreign countries. Movies had sound then, so he recorded the movies in various languages, learning a sentence in one language and recording it, and then learning that sentence in another language and recording it, and so on. For one movie, he recorded the dialogue in French and in Spanish, and he did OK. But his German language instructor noticed a problem with his German: "Oh, I understand him very well, only he's speaking with a French-Spanish accent."¿ As a boy, W.C. Fields had a unique way of peddling newspapers. He juggled the folded newspapers, and he yelled out teasers about the stories inside the newspapers. However, he ignored regular news stories and instead boosted unusual stories, such as "Bronislaw Gimp acquires license for two-year-old sheepdog. Details on page 26."

The sequel to the popular Excuse Me, Sir... Your Socks are in Fire, this book contains more stories about the experiences of a Wilderness Park Ranger in the Adirondack Mountains. The author spent three years livivng in the backwoods of the West Canada Lakes Wilderness area. During that time, he encountered many interesting and unusual people. His entertaining stories are sure to delight the reader.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism. Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking. ¿ In 2006, South Dakota instituted almost a total ban on abortions. Bill Napoli, a South Dakota State Senator, supported this ban, saying that women should not be allowed to have abortions even if they get pregnant for "simple rape." (He did say that he would make an exception for a religious virgin who gets pregnant from a brutalizing rape.) Cartoonist Stephanie McMillan saw Mr. Napoli's words as expressing a belief that women shouldn't be allowed to make decisions for themselves, so she created a cartoon in which a woman character telephones Mr. Napoli when she is asked to make a decision about which salad dressing to use - the character asks Mr. Napoli, "Roasted pepper vinaigrette or honey mustard?" The cartoon included Mr. Napoli's work and home telephone numbers, which many other women used to call him. One woman asked him whether her bra and panties should match; another woman asked him whether she should use tampons or pads. ¿ After the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, which destroyed most of the city, architect Julia Morgan was hired to rebuild the Fairmont Hotel, in part because of her expertise in reinforced concrete, which was at that time a new material. Women architects were rare, so a woman reporter inspected the Fairmont Hotel, then asked the foreman, "Is the building really in the charge of a woman architect?" The foreman replied, "This building is in [the] charge of a real architect, and her name happens to be Julia Morgan." After the building was completed, another woman reporter came to see it. Standing in the dining room, which was decorated with gold, gray, ivory, and scarlet, she said to Ms. Morgan, "How you must have reveled in this chance to squeeze dry the loveliest tubes in the whole world of color!" Ms. Morgan replied, "I don't think you understand just what my work here has been. The decorative part was done by a New York firm. My work has all been structural." ¿ One of the ways that comedian Whoopi Goldberg knew that she was beginning to make it big was that caricaturist Harry Hirschfeld worked his art on her in The New York Times while she was appearing on a one-woman show on Broadway. Mr. Hirschfeld traditionally hides his daughter's name - Nina - in his caricatures, and in his caricature of Ms. Goldberg he wrote "Nina" 40 times. Ms. Goldberg was so pleased with Mr. Hirschfeld's caricature that she sent him flowers.

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism.Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking.¿ In Bikini Kill's early songs, vocalist Kathleen Hanna tends to repeat lines many times. She had a reason for doing this. The sound equipment Bikini Kill played live with was very bad, and she worried that no one would understand the words, and so she repeated them over and over so that the audience would hear them. Some of the lyrics deserve to be heard over and over - for example, she repeated these lines from the song "Resist Psychic Death" over and over: "I resist with every inch and every breath / I resist this psychic death." By the way, near the end of his life, the heart of Mexican artist José Clemente Orozco grew weaker, and his cardiologist, Dr. Ignacio Chávez, recommended that he stop the strenuous work of painting huge murals and instead concentrate on the less strenuous work of creating easel paintings. However, Mr. Orozco refused to take this advice. Instead, he remarked to his wife, "I'm not going to do as the doctor says and abandon mural painting. I prefer physical death to the moral death that would be the equivalent of giving up mural painting." So how does one resist psychic death? Some ways include practicing an art, doing good deeds, paying attention to your soul as well as your body, staying angry at the things that should anger us, and being aware of the fabulous realities that surround us despite the presence of evil in the world.¿ In 2007, while standing in line in Victoria station in London, a man named Gareth Edwards, who describes himself as a "big, stocky bloke with a shaven head," noticed a well-dressed businessman cutting in line behind him. (Apparently, Mr. Edwards is so big that the businessman did not want to cut in line ahead of him.) Some people politely remonstrated with the businessman, but the businessman ignored the protests. So Mr. Edwards asked the elderly woman who was behind the businessman line-cutter-in, "Do you want to go in front of me?" She did, and Mr. Edwards then asked the new person standing behind the businessman line-cutter-in, "Do you want to go in front of me?" Mr. Edwards did this 60 or 70 times, so he and the businessman kept moving further back in line. Finally, just as the bus pulled up, the elderly woman whom he had first allowed to go ahead in line, yelled back to him, "Young man! Do you want to go in front of me?"

This is a short, quick, and easy read.Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends.Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism.Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking.¿ Star Trek: The Experience can be seen at the Las Vegas Hilton. Among other attractions are actors portraying characters from the various Star Trek series. Many of the actors are very good, and they stay in character. For example, a famous Ferengi is Quark. When a fan yelled "Quark!" at an actor in a Ferengi costume, the actor sighed and said, "Billions of Ferengi in the Universe, and they [Hu-Mans] all think we are Quark!" The Ferengi are a notoriously acquisitive species, and Star Trek fan Kevin Wagner was shocked that an actor playing a Ferengi agreed to pose for free for a photograph with a fan. Therefore, Kevin quoted the 13th Rule of Acquisition to the Ferengi: "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money." However, the actor playing the Ferengi knew his stuff: "Don't quote the Rules of Acquisition to me, Hu-Man. Free publicity!"¿ George Burns and Gracie Allen had years of experience performing in vaudeville before they started doing their radio show. This long experience came in handy when mishaps occurred on their show. One day, the lights in the studio went out, and no one could read the script. On another occasion, Gracie accidentally dropped her script, and the pages scattered everywhere. Both times, they ignored the script. George simply asked, "Gracie, how's your brother?" - and Gracie started one of their well-memorized and very funny vaudeville routines.¿ Comedian Soupy Sales used to collect portraits of United States Presidents and American founding fathers. On his TV show for children, he once told his young viewers to go through Mommy's purse and Daddy's wallet and mail him "the little green pieces of paper with pictures of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson on them." In return, he promised to send the children a postcard from Puerto Rico.

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"Beloved writer Samantha Irby has returned to the printed page for her much-anticipated, sidesplitting fourth book following her 2020 breakout, Wow, no thank you, a Vintage Books Original. The success of Irby's career has taken her to new heights. She fields calls with job offers from Hollywood and walks the red carpet with the iconic ladies of Sex and the City. Finally, she has made it. But, behind all that new-found glam, Irby is just trying to keep her life together as she always had. Her teeth are poisoning her from inside her mouth, and her diarrhea is back. She gets turned away from a restaurant for wearing ugly clothes, she goes to therapy and tries out Lexapro, gets healed with Reiki, explores the power of crystals, and becomes addicted to QVC. Making light of herself as she takes us on an outrageously funny tour of all the details that make up a true portrait of her life, Irby is once again the relatable, uproarious tonic we all need"--

Instant New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal Bestseller! An intimate and light-hearted memoir by viral sensation and three-time Emmy-nominated musical comedian Randy Rainbow that takes readers through his life-the highs, the lows, the lipstick, the pink glasses, and the show tunes.Randy Rainbow, the man who conquered the Internet with a stylish pair of pink glasses, an inexhaustible knowledge of Broadway musicals, and the most gimlet-eyed view of American politics this side of Mark Twain finally tells all in Playing with Myself, a memoir sure to cause more than a few readers to begin singing one of his greatest hits like "A Spoonful of Clorox" or "Cover Your Freakin' Face." As Randy has said, "There's so much fake news out there about me. I can't wait to set the record straight and finally give people a peek behind the green screen." And set the record straight he does. Playing with Myself is a first-hand account of the journey that led Randy Rainbow from his childhood as the over-imaginative, often misunderstood little boy who carried a purse in the second grade to his first job on Broadway as the host at Hooters and on to the creation of his trademark comedy character. In chapters titled "Pajama Bottoms" (a look back at the days when he wore pajama bottoms on his head to pretend he was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz), "Yes, It's My Real Name, Shut Up!" (no explanation necessary...) and "Pink Glasses" (a rose-colored homage to his favorite accessory), Playing with Myself is a memoir that answers the question "Can an introverted musical theatre nerd with a MacBook and a dream save the world, one show tune at a time?"This paperback edition includes the new introduction, "Pretend It's Champagne."

Clinton's Afternoon Nap is an Adults Only parody of the children's book format, following the misadventures of lazy house cat Clinton.All Clinton wants is to enjoy his afternoon nap. Little does he know, he is in for a very rude awakening.