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This is a self-coaching book for women in difficult relationships with their mothers, who want to understand how these patterns of relating came into being and how to change them. The book explores the factors that influence such relationships from conception onwards, and what holds them in place now we are adults. It includes the challenges of being raised by negative, narcissistic, distant, smothering and dependent mothers, and looks at how they may have become like this. Mothers are daughters too. The book doesn't blame mothers or daughters, but takes a compassionate and non-judgemental approach to the topic. At the heart of such relationships is emotional trauma, and the book addresses this in a way that will promote insight and well-being. There are self-help exercises throughout the book to take readers on their own learning and change.The book invites readers into a conversation about some difficult topics, including maternal ambivalence and the emotional pain of not feeling loved, seen, protected or valued by the mother. Sadly, the family environment for some children is not a loving one, nor is it one where the family is struggling with many challenges which affect how the mother can relate to her daughter. Not all daughters stay with their birth mothers, some are raised by adoptive or foster mothers, or other family members. They may have relationships with both birth and adoptive mothers, either or both of which may be difficult for the daughter.In focusing on daughters and mothers, the book also recognises the importance of fathers, mothers' partners, and close family to how we develop. The author acknowledges that sons and mothers, daughters and fathers, sons and fathers can also be difficult and challenging relationships, however, the focus of this book is daughters and mothers.
Why do coaches need to understand trauma? This book highlights the role coaches must play - and how it differs to psychotherapists - in supporting clients with trauma. A role that both enhances the coach's skills and supports their clients' personal development.Trauma isn't an event, it is a lasting internal process through which the 'here and now' of life experience is affected by the 'there and then' of traumatising experience. Vaughan Smith provides a way to understand the internal process that affects all aspects of our physical and mental wellbeing. While providing an introduction to the theory of trauma, the main focus is on practical application within the context of coaching; distilling Franz Ruppert's theory of the surviving self and the healthy self.Written for practitioners, this important text raises trauma awareness, addresses the 'what if?' questions many coaches have and provides a clear framework for implementation. Rarely do coaching or organisational development books address the very prevalent issue of trauma and yet this is something every coach will come across in their practice."This book busts the myth that trauma has nothing to do with coaching, while underlining clearly how coaches can maintain appropriate boundaries. A real gift to the profession and absolutely essential reading for any coaching supervisor."Paul Heardman, Leadership Coach and Coaching Supervisor"A clear, enlightening, practical book that is well-grounded in theory."Carolyn Mumby, Executive and Personal Coach-Therapist, Supervisor and Facilitator, Chair BACP Coaching Division"This is a book that coaching has been missing. From the first pages it's clear that we are in safe hands as Julia guides us through a topic that is sadly still taboo for many coaches."Helen Sieroda, Director Wise Goose School of Coaching "Necessary reading for anyone serious about coaching. It's a profound book, and because it goes deep, it reveals fertile possibilities. It touches, evokes and - with great care - honours our necessary inventiveness."Jonathan Gosling, Emeritus Professor of Leadership, Exeter University and co-founder of CoachingOurselves.com"This book should interest therapists and coaches. If not, they should ask themselves why. It is a magnificent fusion of Julia's career as a clinician, manager, management consultant, therapist, coach and author."Brian Lewis, Bellettes Bay Company, Tasmania, Australia"Essential reading for coaching supervisors and coaches. It has transformed my practice." Dr Louise Sheppard, Coaching Supervisor and Executive Coach at Praesta Partners LLP"A must for anyone wanting to take their coaching to another level."Shirley Greenaway, Executive Coach, Head of Coaching at Management Futures
Offering your clients more than just therapy, this work gives you the know-how to bring elements of a coaching approach into your counseling process - adding increased benefits to your clients' experience as well as your practice.
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