Bøger af Lea Hope Becker

What do remarrying folks worry about? What's this new spouse really like? Will I fail? Will health be a big issue? How about money? Common interests? The past? The issues are as varied and as individual as fingerprints! Adjustment to a new lifestyle is a given, no matter how one's previous marriage ended. In my book, I Promise To Stay Married (This Time), I describe my own adjustment as I leaped over the crevice from my own comfort zone of single life after two failures, to a completely different situation. I moved away from my big city law practice, my grown children, my home and my friends to rewire my head and renew my life. My goal was to adapt to my new husband's retired status and life in a remote rural area. Our routines were so different that I had to make up everything as I went along. I don't know how many people would have bet on me, with my track record. My decision was to go for broke and put my heart and soul into it. My strategy was to find humor in every glitch, a ray of sunlight in every black moment and a willingness to change any bad habits I needed to change. I did it for love.

I was a naive college dropout with two divorces under my belt, three kids to raise and almost no money in the bank. Even I wouldn't have bet on me to turn my life around. I'm still puzzled as to whether I was driven by anger, competitiveness or simply a will to overcome my many obstacles. Probably it was a combination of all three. I do recall that when I felt like crying I had to pretend that a joke was being played on me and that I had to turn the tables on my adversary -- whoever or whatever it was. I wanted things my mother never dared to wish for and I wanted my path to happiness to be laden with goodies. A higher education was to be the key to my future, for I was a second generation child of an aspiring American family. What meaning would you give to the phrase "Having it all" as it relates to a woman's life? As for me, I have generally embraced my own favorite categories of success, although not always in the order that made sense, because I frequently did things backwards! My "Big Five" were: 1) Marriage, (2) Children, (3) Career, (4) Financial security; and (5) Good health. People told me I was out of my mind to think I could work full-time, go to school full-time and run a household as a single parent with three young children. I told my dissenters that I had everything under control! Sure I did, like kids always obey, money always comes in and employers fall at an educated woman's feet. I had some control of my situation, but was naive as to my future difficulties. Eventually, I learned that worthwhile marriages are often elusive; the bearing and successful rearing of children isn't a guarantee; a full-fledged career competes with the first two; financial security can escape in a heartbeat as external events occur; and the enjoyment of good health is often a roll of the dice. The joker is always out there to gum up one's plans. Nevertheless, I have concluded that the secret of life success is embodied in the devoted pursuit of one's dreams -- it is the odyssey itself. If one cannot enjoy the trip, then what's the purpose of beginning the ride? That is what this book is about.

Marlene Sternberg's 42-year-old bachelor son, Robbie, who lives and works hundreds of miles away, fails to call her on her 70th birthday. Several days later she gets a mysterious package from him and before she can open it, he phones and drops a bombshell. He's no longer her son -- he's had a sex-change operation and he's now her daughter. Marlene realizes that her husband, Henry, although a devoted father, is also a conservative old-fashioned guy who will be out of his mind when he gets the news. Why did Robbie have to keep his surgery secret until after the fact? Why was Marlene's younger child, 37-year-old daughter Linda, instrumental in financing the operation? Suddenly Marlene's everyday obsessions take a back seat to the new family dynamics. No longer is her biggest problem her thirty pounds of excess weight or even the fact that tightwad Henry won't pay for the facelift she desires. Will Henry try to close the door on his relationship with Robbie? What should Marlene advise her new transgendered daughter to do about Robbie's earlier commitment to stand up as a groomsman for wealthy cousin Cissy's imminent lavish wedding, since none of the extended family knows about the operation? As the weeks pass, Marlene sees the possibility that the harrowing upset to the family relationships can be normalized if only Henry is given time to adjust. Will her maternal instincts and love for her two children overcome all the new obstacles facing her? Lea Becker's treatment of a sensitive subject is written with empathy and humor. This fictional tale about a family with a dilemma is a story that could be true and could be playing out right now in your neighborhood or your own home.