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From the feral imagination of Max Scratchmann comes a dark and erotic world of murderers, mermaids, mechanical maidens and other mythical monsters.These magical realist fragments will both entertain and enthral you, transporting you to shadowy kingdoms where moonlit sirens crawl up from the depths and android lovers cry bitter tears of glass; where lost giants wander in forbidden valleys and cutthroats prowl the shadowy urban streets by night; and everything that seemed secure by the light of day dissolves into an arid dystopian landscape where darkness reigns supreme.The twenty-six flash fiction tales in this collection include Bluebeard's Seventh Wife, Iona Pearls, Dark but Natural, My Words Itch at Your Ears, The Snow Queen, Sargasso Sea, Mermaids in a Jar and many more...
Bad girls, wicked women; lecherous, treacherous villainesses; hedonistic harlots, and plain old-fashioned bunny-boiling temptresses. Immerse yourself in a feast of delectable depravity with these eight blackly humorous tales, spanning the familiar gothic grimoire of murder, lust and revenge with rapacious relish. Lascivious lesbians, manipulative mad-women and gruesome gold-diggers are just a few of the bad girls that you'll meet in this fast-paced anthology, which proves beyond all reasonable doubt that the female of the species is definitely more deadly than the male.
Max Scratchmann was born the son of a Dundee jute wallah and spent the first six years of his life in India before being taken "home" to Scotland in the bitter winter of 1963. In Scotland for Beginners he tells the often painful, but very funny, story of growing up in the bleak grey-harled bungalows of Dundee's newly-built suburbs and learning to adapt to his native land in an era when the very fabric of the nation was changing. Told as a series of non-fiction short stories, Scotland for Beginners takes us on a sentimental journey through "auld Dundee" as Max struggles to decipher Scots dialect; buys school clothes from the formidable Miss Hannah at the Peter Street Co-op, and heroically endures the tortures of organised games at the Junior Boys Brigade. Then, as the Sixties become the Seventies and the country is plunged into darkness by power strikes and the Three Day Week, the teenage Max goes girl-chasing at the Ice Rink; falls in love with Sally the prompter at the church drama group, and finally blunders into a dodgy drug deal in a garishly-painted tenement in the Hawkhill. "Vivid and well observed...""Told with humour and grace, this memoir is extremely readable - you'll find yourself laughing out loud more than once..."
Named one of the twelve best travel books of 2009 by Worldhum, Chucking It All exposes the gritty reality behind all those twee bestsellers which extol the joys of sunny rural idylls. With its remorseless true-life account of downshifting to a remote Scottish island, Chucking It All uncovers the frightening realities of relocating to "a magical island lost in the mists of time" as you follow the warts-and-all adventures of urban misanthrope, Max Scratchmann, as he valiantly tries to forge a new life in the windswept Orkney islands, and grumbles his way through unending winters with eighteen-hour nights, nocturnal visits from drunken farmers and booty calls from desperate divorcees. From struggling to fit in as a temporary postman in a wilderness where houses don't display numbers or names, to attending drunken country ceilidhs with the island singles' club, or finding himself up to the neck in local politics while performing in the village pantomime, Chucking It All is an urbanite's nightmare and one of the most hilarious books that you will read this year. Irreverent, sarcastic and bitingly caustic, Chucking It All still manages to be a grudgingly affectionate portrait of rural life through the eyes of a cynical outsider, and is one of the truest accounts of "living the dream" ever published. "Sarcastic, cheeky and bitingly blunt...this comes highly recommended"The Scottish Field
Shoeboy in Pumpkin Land is a wonderfully surreal and Carrollesque opera for young people, brought to you by the wacky partnership of mad lyricist, Max Scratchmann, and round-the-bend composer, Michael Dyer. Dealing with the joint themes of alienation and acceptance in a darkly comic manner, this easy-to-stage one-act opera is the perfect vehicle for schools and/or youth theatre companies seeking to help children confront serious issues in a fun way. Jasper Jedd is an ordinary boy except for one little thing - he is born with a shoe for a head! And in this feast of devilish wit and roguish musical creativity he sets off on a journey through the dark forest of the fearsome Ginkle Snicks to find the mythical Pumpkin Land, where he hopes he'll finally fit in... (Duration: 35 minutes) The cover price of this libretto includes photocopying rights for one production.
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