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WARNING: This book contains material of an adult nature, which is just about guaranteed to offend somebody somewhere. Mr. Porky's Pledge is a darkly comic and at times heart-breaking story of **** (he is never named), a demented alcoholic writer living in NYC. His story is interwoven with chapters of a novel he is writing, which amounts to a stand-alone work. We follow **** as he seeks revenge on those he feels have wronged him (which is paralleled in the book within the book), and in the way he interprets the world with his spongy, alcohol-soaked brain. **** becomes obsessed with the logo on a bag of pork snacks (and the company's guarantee, which he misinterprets) and strikes up an email relationship with someone at the factory whom he presumes to be the cartoon pig from the bag. His misguided and comic endeavors see him fall through the ceiling of his friend's office in a masturbating accident, make a softball from a cat's head to terrorize a little girl, murder a swan and brawl with a Christian puppeteer in Central Park. The novel **** is writing is an urban fantasy tale of 35 year old stock broker Mag, who is transported back in time to 1989 and into his 12 year old body. Whilst there he uncovers a budding young sociopath's plot to impregnate a bully with a Down's syndrome child. What would you do? Save the girl? Stop 9/11? Or just fill your own pockets? All in, Mr. Porky's Pledge is a shocking, funny and sad tale of circular revenge, but not in a little girl's tea party underpantsy way like The Count of Monte Cristo. Here we see that a mixture of idiocy, spite and pettiness sometimes works just fine. Up to a point. Influences of William Kotzwinkle, Kurt Vonnegut Jr. and Charles Bukowski can be seen. It's sure to become a cult classic, as I've heard several people refer to the author as a cult. Just listen to what these EXCITED readers have to say about Mr. Porky's Pledge: 'That's disgusting. You should be locked up.' -N. DuBow, Haverstraw NY 'Uh. . . You're not planning to show this to anyone, are you?' -E. Rodgers, Wichita KS And if that wasn't enough, here's what author STEPHEN KING had to say: 'This is a must read.' Okay, so he didn't say it about this book per se, but he might have if he'd read it. Or heard of it. Just buy it already. Praise for the author: '*****' 'Really loved this book. Never read this writer before but can't wait to see what else he has to offer.' 'This is a great thriller that keeps you guessing until the last page. [His] multifaceted novel is a wonderful debut with just the right kind of plot twists that keep you turning pages. Jackson is an author to watch, I look forward to his next offering.' 'Exciting... couldn't put it down!'-Amazon.com '*****'-Barnes and Noble '*****' 'This was a good read. Kept the suspense going all the way through the book. Very well written... I will read other books by this author!'-Goodreads.com
"Flashes of horror erupted in his mind like a strobe light; a pregnant corpse engulfed in flames; rotting bodies in deep black water. . ." After a fifteen year absence John Gainer returns to his home town of Clay, Texas to organize his father's funeral. He has bitter memories of a childhood tragedy which still haunts his dreams occasionally, but which he thought was firmly buried. The chance discovery of a human jawbone in a disused quarry awakens the past, and brings it closer to home than John first realizes. As he becomes increasingly enmeshed in a series of horrific events, he realizes that not only is his own life in jeopardy, but the lives of several others close to him. "This is a great thriller that keeps you guessing until the last page." -Amazon.com "Kept the suspense going all the way through the book. Very well written I will read other books by this author!" -Goodreads.com
'She pulled the trigger; the hammer fell. The Magnum exploded for the second time on the cliff top, and the last round in the chamber was fired. It was just like she had pictured in her head. The massive bullet punched a fist-sized hole in El's chest, right where his heart had been a millisecond before. His eyes grew wide and he released his grip on Ros. He fell backward slowly over the cliff. Rachel and the dog walked tentatively to edge and looked down. El's body was lying smashed and broken on the rocks below. Even from a hundred feet up they could see his blood staining the wet rocks around him. Waves crashed in and their foam was made pink.' Rachel Golden was having a bad day. She was in jail on the Altworld, she had shot her math teacher (it's okay, he was going to shoot her first), she'd been kicked by a unicorn, and on top of everything else she'd lost her name tag. And just five days before she'd been sitting in class... As a trainee Hero, Rachel's mission was simple: Follow the unicorns. Unfortunately these turned out not to be the gleaming white storybook ones (which she'd imagined riding through the forest in slow motion) but shaggy feral horses with rhino horns. In the Altworld she discovers some shocking secrets about her late father and where she inherited her Hero genes from. As well as her best friend and Safeguarder Kel, she also teams up with a black Labrador called Ros and a disgusting little creature called Assorted Colors (don't ask). As the Hero party travels further into the Altworld, things become dangerous as they are pursued by the evil Overlords, a mysterious villain known only as 'El', and some human/animal hybrid monsters. To make things worse there is a spy on the Council that is giving away their every move. To make things EVEN WORSE she might have feelings for Kel... And unfortunately, the Overlords' designs on her own planet are causing a rift in the fabric of space-time. Her world begins to literally fall apart as she struggles to find out the truth about the Retriever of Sin. It could mean saving her dad from death; it could also mean the destruction of her world. Rachel Golden and the Retriever of Sin has humor, excitement, danger, romance and betrayal. Plus some pretty bitching fight scenes. And unicorns. And a talking dog. Just buy it already. Praise for the author: '*****' 'Really loved this book. Never read this writer before but can't wait to see what else he has to offer.' 'This is a great thriller that keeps you guessing until the last page. [His] multifaceted novel is a wonderful debut with just the right kind of plot twists that keep you turning pages. Jackson is an author to watch, I look forward to his next offering.' 'Exciting... couldn't put it down!'-Amazon.com '*****'-Barnes and Noble '*****' 'This was a good read. Kept the suspense going all the way through the book. Very well written... I will read other books by this author!'-Goodreads.com
For die-hard fans, this official Paper Doll book is a must-have! The red gown Amelia wore when Emerson proposed as well as some of the excavation garments she wore during her adventures in Egypt are among the costumes.
I adore that I despise Samuel Hawkes' attractive face.Self-care is exchanging scowls with your exact opposite.However, if we make our office conflict a global issue...It becomes tougher to disregard the term "obsessed."His expression shifts abruptly from "You're a dork, Ellie" to "I want to break you."And I'm hesitant to learn what that implies. (Hopefully closer to an egg thrown against a wall than an ice-pop split in half. If I ask, he'll make fun of me.)Let me first agree with you and then explain before someone thinks "he's trash, ignore him."I don't watch Samuel Hawkes for fun.
Peter Ash, a veteran of war, traveled to the majestic redwoods of northern California in search of peace and quiet, but his journey wasn't as healing as he'd thought. His claustrophobia buzzes and flares in the close-by fog and dark woodland, and then he stumbles onto a grizzly, long believed to have disappeared from this region of the country. Peter believes his chances of winning a battle between a man and a bear are poor, so he makes a calculated retreat up a nearby sapling.
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