Bøger udgivet af William Ardrey

Can this man ever learn to read? What is the hold up on his quest. Is there any romance involved.------The ole professor claimed he had a reason for howling. I asked what could excuse such behavior. He told me he had been borne at home, on a ranch in Montana."What's so unusual about that" I had to ask. He sniffed to show he knew how, and then replied,"The only doctor available was a veterinarian and that has weight heavily on my mind all these years. Being delivered by a Vet, is disgracing. When I get loaded I start to look wall-eyed and howl".I just gave him the rest of the jug and let him go into never-never land. That would keep old Rover quite for a while. Next morning he was led back to wino alley, I thought he wanted to be among his own kind. Lesson learned; you cannot learn much from a professor, if he is a drunken Wino. ------Fire! Fire! That was the warning, yelled by someone who had done it before. The clerk was still, silly enough to run out and see what was going on. And after several trips, to the woods, and back, were made; it netted a fair supply of Nectar. It was the kind of haul, most winos can only dream about. Because a real, down and out guzzler can't think that far in the future. I still did have some, sober thoughts. Well I was back on skid row, in wino alley, guzzling the vino with the rest of the boys. There was one poor old woman lying around drunk, and it was bad. Men lying around wasted didn't look so bad, but that poor female creature did. It must be true, a few of the people that become drunks are mentally ill, but not all are.-------------As it turned out that small ape, and the Dog were in love, yes, in love. A black guy named Henry that worked there started to pet the dog. The ape jumped up, and was in a threatening posture. The ape had a look that said, "I am going to eat you alive if you move". Then the dog started to growl at the man, who just wanted to pet him. Henry had them both on him, nearly going for the kill. Luckily, we got the situation under control before any blood was shed. I did not know two different species of animals could form that kind of bond, but they did. It was love no doubt. The ape, would give the dog, a helping hand, every now and then. Yeah, what you are thinking is what it did.

This man is struggling with weight loss, he sometimes wins but not always. He sometimes thinks donuts are good for him.A look Inside The guy next door saw me, pissing in the bushes like I always did. He said he had some females living with him, and he wished that, I would go in the house at times like that. Well, the man did ask nice, so wanting to be a good neighbor, I said OK. I figured if he had any tools, I could probably, borrow them. And he might know how to grow some of the greens, I would need. Also he hadn't said what category, the females were. If the neighbor guy, didn't have any tools, and the girls wouldn't talk, I would Piss on his dog if I saw fit. And I would see fit. I drew pictures of cakes and cookies, then putting Horns and pitchforks, on them. I did this for hours and more hours. Many horns and forks later, it was time to eat. Did I dare trust myself with the Carbs? Could I resist the temptation of gorging myself? Yes I could. After I poured Vinegar on everything, I started my orgies. That damn sour taste cut short, my gorging frenzy. Yeah it was a harsh deal, no doubt. But it was the only deal I was going to give ole self.

Wade comes back to his home town after being away. He now has a special reason for returning.------ The cowboys had dealt with this stuck cow problem frequently. A flip of coin decided who would pull and who did the pushing. The plan was for Wade to throw a loop over the cows head and pull. Red would get behind and twist the tail, which gave Cow two reasons to move. And which mount had Wade saddled that day? None other than ole Dun, of outlaw fame. Wade was urging his horse to pull harder. Red was on foot behind the Cow, doing the twisting and pushing. The Dun horse, was slipping some, and pulling some. Then it had to happen, Dun got a firm spot, to put his hoofs on. That made cow lurch forward. Red was pushing and twisting, when the cow jumped on forward he fell in the mud. He had been putting a lot of effort into it. Even his face was muddy. Wade and Dun kept pulling and got the cow on firm ground. He was coiling his lasso, not saying anything. Wade knew Red would be mad, and did not want to make it worse. However ole Red was plenty mad, he figured his two "Pals," had purposely made him fall in the stinking mud. They had not done that. But if, there had been fifty witnesses, to tell Red they didn't, it would have done no good.

Jim T. Klack once a Star Cruiser Captain why is he now driving a Star Truck? Is there any plans of being reinstated?------------The Judge had a big nose. It flared when he said, "Jim T. Klack Front and center please" "And how do you plead?" That trail was held after getting drunk on duty, they said I could no longer be a Star-Cruiser captain, or be in the, exploration division. And could no longer have any contact with the natives, of developing worlds. And they said I couldn't be driving that type of Star ship. --------- Even though that space truck was faster than greased lightning we still had some problems with the live cargo. All that intimate company, they had with each other produced too many offspring's. It was sadly my job to practice natural selection on them. Sort of like that evolution guy said; only it wasn't all that natural. When the nasty little pigs started to overrun the space truck, I would open the outer hatch and jettison a few. Yeah it was a hated thing to do it, but I couldn't reach the controls to steer the damn truck. There were just too many of them. If we zoomed past a delivery point, the company would hold me responsible. So I did, have to get control. ----------They say an owl can revolve its head completely around, with no ill effects. Had it ever been possible, for a man to revolve his head around in a few complete circles, without his head falling off? So looking for an answer, I probed his mind. And my first suspicions were now confirmed, he was indeed dead. Supposedly he couldn't hold his liquor, very well. And it was; a lucky break for him too, now he didn't have to worry about getting beaten, for divulging the company secrets. Luckily for me, he had told me enough to let me know how to work the transfer machine, on the space truck. Now with that piece of information, I was getting closer to realizing my new dream. That dream was, me becoming king, of my own animal planet. It now somehow, seemed like the right thing to do. Being around the Hogs was affecting my personality some, but not a lot. Even though, being a collage grad, my speech was deteriorating. I started to say things like "damn Straight Dude", instead of "Yes sir that's correct". And my table manners were different too. One day found me tearing apart my wooden clothes closet, to take the lumber out. With a little hammering, and some sawing, my project was finished. I had built myself a Hog trough to eat from. No more mister nice guy for me. And even though, it was required by company policy, there was no more bathing, and White Shirt. In place of the bath tub, was built a wallowing tub. Now caked with mud and loving every minute of it. Yes, I was picking up the habits of the Swine more and more every day. The thought of being clean and neat now caused revulsion in my soul.