FREEDUM uv SPEECH! - Mark Revolutionary Twain Jr - Bog

Just Think, O Friend or Enemy, what the World might be like, IF everyone could HEAR or READ your own Honest Opinions about certain Important Subjects? Yes, almost everyone in the World has "Freedom of Speech," but, no Way to Deliver their Messages to the World: beCause of being Limited by MONEY! Therefore, our Selected King has come up with the Idea of having a One-World Government "FREEDUM uv SPEECH Speshoul Maguzeen uv Onist Upinyunz," which anyone can Contribute to, once it has "Caught On." Indeed, this is the First Edition of that Magazine, which will give to you a Good Example of what it will be like, which is written in "Funetik Ingglish," which might appear at first glance to be Difficult to read; but, we assure you that it is not at all Difficult, if you can already read English, which most People can: because it is the Official International Language, which is ten times easier to Learn in "Funetik Ingglish": because there is only one Way to spell one Sound, while Standard English has 300+ Ways to spell 30 Sounds, which causes Confusion within the Minds of most Students, which is WHY our Selected King Invented his Special Version of Phonetic English, which can be used on any English Keyboard, Worldwide, or even on a Typewriter, if someone is still Living in the 20th Century. Our Selected King wrote his books with an Ink Pen, Years ago, and his Inspired Words are just as good Today, as ever. However, if he had had Modern Computers, he would have no doubt written many more books: because of the convenience and ease of Editing all such books. For Example, our Selected King has written more than 70 Inspired Books during the past 3.5 Years, which is probably a World Record - at least for Amazon Publishers, which is the World's Largest Book Publishing Company! However, one must be INSPIRED to Write, in order to be Able to write so many Exceptionally Good Books, which contain Guaranteed Reasonable Solutions for our Massive Problems, which almost all People will come to Realize during the near Future, and especially if they Attempt to write their own Solutions in their own books, which no Politician would dare do: because it could prove to be the End of the Road for him or her; but, not for our Selected King, who is the Reincarnation and Resurrection of Mark Twain, himself, who has the Great Advantage of Accumulative NOLIJ. Moreover, the Proof of it is found within his Inspired Books, even if the Lady Doubtfulness does not Believe it. After all, it is just a Matter of Time, and "The Swanky Sword of Divine Truths" will Win all Controversies; and our Selected King has a Good Hold on that Swanky Sword of Divine Truths, which is Guaranteed to Cut Off the Head of Lies, beginning in the District of Criminals, in Washington. However, if you Doubt it, please check out his other Inspired Book, called: "Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY!" (The 2020 Presidential Candidates Desperately Need Some STRONG Undefeatable COMPETITION!) Yes, it will Light your FIRE, as they say, and get you Pumped Up for the next Election Deception - that is, unless you Vote for our Selected King! Indeed, he is the one that we Amazonians are going to Vote for: because we know what is found in his Inspired Books, which are Exceptionally GOOD. Therefore, make this a Good Day for yourself, and Enlighten your own Mind with his Inspired Words of Provable Truths! Yes, tell all of your Frendz, Relutivz, Naaberz and even your Enumeez about it, who might be Converted: because it is possible for all of you to make yourselves Moderately RICH, and become the Best of Good Friends! So, why not give it a Test? Why Juj any Subjikt before you have Lernd ALL of thee Evidens?