Lesbian Princesses & Friends - C D Overstreet - Bog

Prince: Fairy godmother, the princess I was supposed to marry is a lesbian. Can't you fix it so that she falls in love with me? Fairy Godmother: Certainly! Abracadabra! The Princess formerly known as Prince: This isn't what I had in mind! 000 Princess: Any chance we can hook up with Cinderella? Other Princess: Sorry. She only likes guys who have big balls. Princess: What about her stepmother and stepsisters? Other Princess: The last I heard they were suffering from the black plague because someone was keeping pigeons, rats and mice as pets and feeding them from the kitchen. 000 Princess: At church today the preacher said that in the afterlife lesbians go down below are chained up together for all eternity and whipped. Other Princess: What happens if we're bad? 000 Princess: Father, my room was visited last night by the ghost of a beautiful woman! The King: What did you do? Princess: The other princess and I got sheet faced! 000 Princess: What kind of flesh are my girlfriend and I allowed to eat on Fridays? Priest: None! Sister Agnes: Oh thank god, that's such a relief to know! Other Princess: She was afraid we'd done something wrong. 000 Prince Charming: What are you two doing with my wife?! Snow White: See? I told you he wouldn't know. 000 Prince: I know you two aren't ever going to love me, but is there any chance you might consider a three-way? Princess: Sure, let's just check our schedule. Other Princess: We have an opening some time between When Hell Freezes Over and When Monkeys Fly Out of My (censored). Should we pencil you in? 000 Princess: Mother, do you think this dress the other princess gave me is too low cut? Queen: That depends dear. Do you have a patch of curly hair on your chest? Princess: Of course not! Queen: Then yes, it's too low cut. 000 Princess: I have solved all of our kingdom's tax problems. Other Princess: How? Princess: A funny little man just spent three nights spinning tons of straw into four huge rooms full of gold for me. Other Princess: Why did he do that? Princess: He said that in exchange he would return and take my first born child. Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA! 000 Princess: What should we do tonight? Other Princess: I feel like eating out. 000 Sister Agnes: Last night the two lesbian princesses found me in the garden, threw me to the ground, and made wicked love to me all night long. We must have committd a dozen different sins! Can you give me penance? Priest: Go and eat a lemon. Sister Agnes: Will that cleanse my soul? Priest: No, for that you have to repent. But it will wipe that smile off your face. 000 Wendy Darling: If God did not want me to be a lesbian he wouldn't have filled the ocean with topless mermaids. 000 Witch: So what's it like being the godmother of two lesbian princesses? Does that mean you have to grant twice as many wishes? Fairy Godmother: Not really. They dress each other, they give each other jewelry, they always have a date to the ball, and if one of them needs a carriage the other one picks her up in hers. Once I refused to turn all the men in the kingdom to women, give all of the women H-cup breasts, or hand out love potions they pretty much left me alone. 000 Wendy Darling: If God didn't want me to be a lesbian he wouldn't have filled the ocean with topless mermaids.