The New MAGNIFIED Version of The Book of MOORMUN! - Mark Revolutionary Twain Jr - Bog

"Oh, what a Long Boring Book to read," you might say; but, you would be "Dead WRong," as we at Amazon.com would say: because very few parts of this Inspired Book are Boring with a Capital B, much less Boring to a Latter-day Saint, or even to a Latter-day Sinner, who is Seeking the True Riches, which are the Spiritual Riches of Provable Truths, which are like Precious Gemstones in the Book of Mormon, which Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, has MAGNIFIED beyond all Belief Imaginable! In Fact, if you read this Wonderful Book, and do not Agree that it is one of the Best Books in the Whole World, and perhaps the Best Book that you have ever "red," we will Sadly Refund your Money and Pray for your Poor Lost Soul: because Literature hardly gets any Better. In Fact, we will DOUBLE your Money Back, if you can Prove that you "red" the Entire Book with an Honest Open Mind, and did not Discover anything of more Value than the Price of the Book, itself - which, to us, is Worth far more than another Tank of Gas, or even several Tanks of Gas for those Gas-hog Cars; and we are known as "Car Worshipers," according to Mr. Twain, who does not Own any Cars, and Prefers to Ride the Electric Subway Train and the Elevator, which he Claims that everyone in the World could be doing, if they Lived in Beautiful Planned City States, such as he Proposes in: "The Right Design for Living!" (A List of Great Advantages for Building Beautiful Planned City States!) Whatever the case, we must Confess with a Capital C that if such a City has more than 5,000 Good Reasons and Great Advantages over normal Cities of Confusion, we should Whole-heartedly Accept the Idea, and especially in the Light of the Fact that all such Cities have ZERO Disadvantages! And that is WHY the Nephites and Lamanites supposedly Built all such Cities, centuries ago, in the Americas, which are Described in this Amazing Book! Now, of course, X-amount of Poor People will just Naturally say: "We cannot Afford to Buy such a Book, even if it is the Best Book in the World!" Well, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Happy to Help you out on that! Indeed, if you are Extremely Poor, and cannot Afford to Buy this Inspired Book, just Contact the Officials of that Church, and see if they will not Help you: because we are Certain that they will not Want to Lose the TITHES and Generous Offerings of Master Twain, who has more than 40 Good Books for Sale at Reasonable Prices. (Just click your Mouse on the Author's Name for the Proof.) In Fact, you may also Sell any one or all of them, and KEEP 90% of the Net Profits for your own Prosperity and Happiness! Therefore, how can you Lose? Indeed, if this is one of the Best Books on the Earth, it is Bound to Sell Well, in spite of all of the Capitalized Words, which are CAMOUFLAGE for Master Twain, who is a Great Threat to the Evil Empire, which cannot Tolerate all such Words, which Irritate the Bellies of their Minds, you might say, and even make some of them SICK! Therefore, they will not be Able to Study all such Inspired Words of Provable Truths, much less Muster Up any Murderous Army of Deceived Soldiers for going to War against the Man with the Spirit of Elijah, who Wields the Sharp Sword of Divine Truths, which can Remove the Head of Lies with one Swift Stroke, you might say! Yes, just one Good Sermon in this Inspired Book will Prove that Point to you, even as many of them did for us at Amazon.com. Therefore, be Bold, be Brave, and get Ready for Great Surprises: because this Book is full of them! Just Click your Mouse on the "Look Inside" for a Free Book Preview, and you will know what we Mean. Saint Albatross could not have done any Better. Moreover, there is not enough Space in this Description to Explain what that might Mean.