Thu Nq MAGNUFIID Verzhun uv Thu PROVERBZ uv King Solumun in Plaan Ingglish! - Mark Revolutionary Twain Jr - Bog

Aha! - and here you have been Imagining that the Holy Spirit DIED, huh? Well, she Obviously did NOT! Indeed, this Inspired Book PROVES that she is still very much Alive and Well: beCause there is no Way that anyone on this Earth could write such an Extremely Good Book as this, within only one Month, without the Help of the Holy Spirit! In Fact, if you Doubt it, just Try the Experiment for yourself, O Lady Doubtfulness! Yes, you will Discover the Impossibility of it, if you just sit your BIG FAT ASS down in front of your own Computer, and go at it, yourself; and then, when you get Finished with writing your own Uninspired version of the Proverbs of King Solomon, and Compare it with this one, you will be Forced to Confess that you are NOT Gifted with any Holy Ghost, much less with the other Good Gifts of our Selected KING, who is fixing to Transform Rocks into Pure GOLD, Silver, and Precious Gemstones, just to Prove the Existence of a Great Creator GOD! Yes, that might Sound rather RADICAL to the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Sloth-gut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head; but, when our Selected King gets all of his Good Books lined up in Order, and everything else in Order, including his RED-HOT Cannon Balls, he is fixing to take over the Whole World!! Indeed, have you not read, "Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY!" (The 2020 Presidential Candidates Desperately Need Some STRONG Undefeatable COMPETITION!)? Well, do not let it "Buck you Out of the Saddle," as a Cowboy might say; but, Try to Understand that this World Desperately Needs Someone of his Caliber and High Rank to Govern it, which should be Governed According to the Inspired Proverbs of King SOLOMON! In Fact, our Selected King is the Reincarnation of Master Solomon, himself, even if no one Believes it, which will not Change the Facts by even 33 Degrees, O Masons! Therefore, it is now Time for you and everyone else to Discover just Exactly what King Solomon has to say in Plain English! However, some People might Complain that this Book COSTS TOO MUCH, while they Waste Countless dollars on Perfumes, Makeups, Paints, Gasoline, needless Insurance, Drugs, Dog Foods, Hog Slop, Vomit on Pie-crusts, Sports, Election Deceptions, and other Nonsense, which their Master - Jesus Christ - would Shun like Used Toilet Paper, as Huck Finn might say. Believe us, www.Amazon.com would not even Publish such Books as this, if they were not Good for our Souls, and Far Superior to anything that one might Discover in the Public School of Ignorant FOOLS, in some LIE-brary! For Example, here is one of those Proverbs of King Solomon in plain English: "O my Daughter, a Virtuous Woman Feeds her Dear Children DAILY with Sweet Fruits of Satisfaction, and she Covers them with Robes of Righteousness; yes, she Teaches to them how to 'Reed and Riit': so that they can Study all of the Good Books of TRUTHS and WISDOM for themselves in a Swanky TRUTH-brary, whereby they can Grow in Grace and in True Nolij." And here is one more to Meditate on: "The Way that every Man Chooses to Live, even in the City Dump, is Correct in his own Eyes; but, the Right Way to Live, my Son, is to be Exceedingly Humble and Honest at all Times, and be Ready to CHANGE your Mind: beCause it is written that only Ignorant Fools and Proud Morons never Change their Minds." Therefore, get Ready to Change your Mind about a LOT of Important Subjects, O Irreverent Know-it-all, and Understand that our Selected King could MAGNIFY many of his Proverbs into whole BOOKS: beCause of the Richness of them! Indeed, there may come a Happy Day when he does just that; but, not until he has at least a thousand Years to Accomplish it! Moreover, you might also need a hundred Years to read it all; but, after reading this one Inspired Book, you will not Fear it by any Means: beCause it is SHEER JOY to Learn all such Great and Profound Truths, as Judge Thatcher would no doubt Confess! Indeed, "even the Poor Old Widow Douglas will get a Good Kick in the Posterior. Guaranteed!"