Bipolar in Barbados - Christian Browne - Bog

On the brink of insanity"Something happened to me over the last few months, something I can't explain. I don'teven know when exactly it happened. But the maddening question is why it happened, why it happened to me. Why do I only sleep 5 hrs at night? Why when I wake up is mymind racing? Why am I compelled to write it down and share it? Why would I do thisknowing that it will piss people off, knowing that others will see this as me trying to getattention or seek some unknown ulterior motive? How long will this last? Will I ever goback to plain old boring fading into the background me?I had an experience, something that changed me (forever?) and all I've been trying to dois to share that with those closest to me. All you've heard about is all the happy go luckystuff, and the pictures I send are all of good times, friends having fun, everyone smiling.What you don't see is me waking up in a basement all alone wondering why this is allhappening. Sitting at a computer screen at 5am typing away till my fingers hurt notknowing why hoping, and praying for answers so that this would all make sense. I'venever been so scared in my entire life. When I look in the mirror the face that looks backseem familiar but something about it is different. There's something in the eyes that'schanged. Is it a holy fire? The fires of hell? Or something more tangible and real, thestruggles of one on the brink of insanity? I don't know, and that's what scares the helloutta me, that basic innate human fear of the unknown. I was only hoping that my friendsand family would be able to comfort me, guide me, do anything so I didn't feel so lost, confused and lonely."Christian was a normal young man in his early twenties living a regular life in Toronto with a great job, until something unexpected happened when on vacation in Barbados. It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck his brain, changing it forever and completely altering his perception of reality. Bipolar in Barbados: A Memoir of My First Manic Episode is a personal recollection of the events leading up to an unknown illness which was later identified as Bipolar Type 1.