Parodier

The classic #1 New York Times bestseller that answers the age-old questionWhy is incompetence so maddeningly rampant and so vexingly triumphant?The Peter Principle, the eponymous law Dr. Laurence J. Peter coined, explains that everyone in a hierarchy?from the office intern to the CEO, from the low-level civil servant to a nation's president?will inevitably rise to his or her level of incompetence. Dr. Peter explains why incompetence is at the root of everything we endeavor to do?why schools bestow ignorance, why governments condone anarchy, why courts dispense injustice, why prosperity causes unhappiness, and why utopian plans never generate utopias.With the wit of Mark Twain, the psychological acuity of Sigmund Freud, and the theoretical impact of Isaac Newton, Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull's The Peter Principle brilliantly explains how incompetence and its accompanying symptoms, syndromes, and remedies define the world and the work we do in it.

DAS LEBEN IST ZU KURZ, UM DEUTSCH ZU LERNEN Deutschland ist längst ein Einwanderungsland. Menschen aus vielen Ländern und Regionen der Welt finden hier einen neuen Lebensmittelpunkt. Damit stehen sie auch vor der Herausforderung, die deutsche Sprache zu erlernen. Denn Deutsch ist das Tor zur Integration.Wenn aber ein Ausländer sich mit dieser Sprache befasst, dann fangen die Wehklagen an, selbst bei Schriftstellern wie Mark Twain und Abbas Khider: Oh, wie schwer ist die deutsche Sprache. Auch bedauert jeder, der ein bisschen von deutscher Grammatik versteht, zutiefst die armen Menschen, die Deutsch lernen wollen. Aber kein Gedanke wurde bisher an diejenigen verschwendet, die das Martyrium auf sich nehmen, diese unergründliche Sprache Ausländern beizubringen, die in all den Einwanderungswellen der Vergangenheit und der Zukunft das Tor zur Integration aufstoßen und damit beherzt und unerschrocken die Vergreisung Deutschlands verhindern: An die Lehrer für Deutsch als Fremdsprache. Birgit Hummler schildert mit Humor, augenzwinkernd, manchmal auch nachdenklich, wie diese ehrenwerten Wegbereiter den Neuankömmlingen über sprachliche und andere Hürden helfen. Sie macht darüber hinaus - nicht ganz ernst gemeinte - Vorschläge für eine Reformierung der deutschen Sprache, die Ausländern, Deutschlehrern, aber auch den deutschen Kindern das Leben ungemein erleichtern würden.

Arguably the funniest novel to emerge from Northern Europe since the Black DeathA reindeer strangler has struck again; the world's leading authority on Baltic sturgeon has been filleted, and the head of Sweden's only unpublished thriller writer has been discovered some meters from his body. Just a typical day in Stockholm's crime log? Or are the murders the works of a single killer? Chief Inspector Svenjamin Bubbles has a suspect: Lizzy Salamander, Scandinavia's most heavily tattooed girl-sociopath and hacker extraordinaire.Mikael Blomberg believes Salamander has been framed. But if Salamander is innocent, who is the 4'10" girl ninja captured on a surveillance camera decapitating the failed novelist? And what has become of the unpublished manuscript that claimed to connect Sweden's most eco-friendly corporations to the twentieth century's greatest tyrant?A shocking story of corruption and perversion that reaches to the highest echelons of the world's largest producer of inexpensive ready-to-assemble wooden bookcases, The Girl with the Sturgeon Tattoo delivers a hilarious-and gripping-parody of the best-selling novels by Stieg Larsson.

The perfect gift for parents everywhere, from the New York Times bestselling author of Goodnight iPad. The parody of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie that every parent will relate to. If you give in to temptation and give a bored little mouse your iPhone, even for ten minutes, he's probably going to beam to some faraway place beyond time, space, and the sound of your pleading voice. And if he's that far gone, he won't have any idea what's going on around him, and he might end up missing out on all the real fun. From the New York Times-bestselling author of Goodnight iPad comes a delightful new commentary on the perils of our tech-obsessed lives and a fully charged romp for readers of all ages.

It works! Trust us!Warning: Following the "advice" contained herein could get you arrested, maimed, or killed.No $$Money$$ Back Guarantee!Friendless? Poor? Ugly?Need help luring the woman or man of your dreams onto a boat? Hungry for Rum Ham but don't know how long to cook it? Confused as to the legality of keeping birds as pets in your particular home state? Look no further, loser. The gang from Paddy's Pub have combined forces to weigh in on life's most important topics:• Relationships • Financial Success and Career • Fashion and Personal Grooming • Health and Diet • Survival SkillsGrab a beer, throw caution and common sense to the wind, and welcome the most influential work in the history of the written word (or at least since the script for The Nightman Cometh): The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today.

The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, "What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?" and "What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?" and especially "Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can't he just play with yarn like cats used to do?"Our country-and our cats-stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats-and America-great again!

From the underbelly of the nuts behind hit websites failblog.org and icanhascheezburger.com comes FAIL Nation, your silent guide and handler to the not-even-close-to-perfect nation of FAIL, chock-full of irrelevant tips and useless suggestions about why to shop, who to eat, and when to see. So fasten your exit and check for the nearest seatbelt?your FAIL plane departs now.

Part voyeuristic entertainment, part group therapy, Passive Aggressive Notes offers a fascinating look at the all-too-familiar frustrations of embattled office drones, apartment dwellers, parents, and pet owners everywhere. This curated collection combines dozens of outrageous, never-before-seen notes as well as favorites from Passiveaggressivenotes.coma 2008 Webby Award Winner and the official "Best Blog" of the South by Southwest Interactive festival.

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let's be honest—a no-talent loser• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death• And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that's only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don't have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics ("Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can't afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you'll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income?1. More than $50,000.2. Less than $50,000.3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?1. Less than $10,000.2. More than $10,000.3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio?1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?1. The amount of return.2. The degree of risk.3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement?1. Savings.2. Social security.3. Sale of kidneys.—from the Introduction: "Why You Need This Book”Also available as a Crown eBook.

A survey of the animal kingdom in which the nocturnal and tunneling wombat is awarded the greatest praise.Will Cuppy was something like the Larry David of the mid-20th century. From his perch as a staff writer at The New Yorker, Cuppy observed the world and found a great deal that annoyed him. This collection of essays on animals includes ¿Birds Who Can¿t Even Fly,¿ ¿Optional Insects,¿ ¿Octopuses and Those Things¿, and ¿How to Swat a Fly,¿ which codifies the essentials in ten hilarious principles. And three essays on wombats. Perfect reading for the perplexed, befuddled, and perpetually irritated.

Following the trauma of passing the mid-century mark, Bill Geist lies about his age, shops for a Harley, receives liposuction counseling, finds himself the oldest guy at at rock concert, buys "relaxed fit" jeans, and damn near buys a Cadillac! It's enough to make a grown man cry . . . so what else is there to do but laugh?

"As I Lay Dieting". "Abstinence! Abstinence!" "Lite in August". Contestants who entered the Faulkner Write-Alike Contest were encouraged to "pound in fury" at their keyboards to write the best bad Faulkner they could. For those who love good parody and those who love good Faulkner--here is the best of both worlds. Black-and-white caricatures throughout.

Years ago, Harry's Bar & American Grill organized the annual International Imitation Hemingway Competition. The rules were simple: sound like Hemingway and be funny. Now the best of the Hemingway imitators has been gathered in a collection that will win approval of all aficionados of Papa.

A delightfully unexpected, lovingly curated ode to the unique collective nouns that adorn our language, from "a leap of leopards" to "a murder of crows" and beyond, from the inimitable voice behind Inside the Actors Studio"I am madly in love with collective nouns! They make language so colorful and ticklish. . . . [An Exaltation of Larks] possess[es] an embarrassment of riches (wink wink!)." -Lupita Nyong'o, The New York TimesFor those who have wondered if the familiar "pride of lions" and "gaggle of geese" were merely the tip of a linguistic iceberg, James Lipton has provided a definitive answer: here are hundreds of equally pithy, often poetic terms he has unearthed and collected into one exhaustive volume. Over years of painstaking research, he embarked on an odyssey that has given us a "slouch of models," a "shrivel of critics," an "unction of undertakers," a "blur of Impressionists," a "score of bachelors," a "pocket of quarterbacks," and many more.Witty, beautiful, and remarkably apt, An Exaltation of Larks is a brilliant compendium of more than 1,100 resurrected or newly minted contributions to that ever-evolving species, the English language.