Lobo's Cocktail Madness - Molly L Boose - Bog

Do you want to see over 120 new crazy cocktail recipes, many undrinkable? No? Well buy this mess-o'-miscellany anyway, there is no telling what you might see in it. And we mean that, because we're not going to tell you what's inside. You'll just have to cough up the loot and see. Not that we're pleading. We might not even care. But just in case, here are a few samples of Lobo's maniacal "cocktails."

CAUGHT IN THE BUGHOUSE: 1 1/2 oz Everdim, 1 oz Ginny-Gin Gin, 1/2 oz Chivas Beagle, 2 oz oyster juice, 2 oz Tabasco Sauce, 2 oz cream, 1 oz tomato juice. Garnish with kiwi slice. Lobo had just about enough sobriety to open his mouth when he wanted a third one of these cocktails, but certainly no more.
LONELY PADDED CELL: 1 oz Old Bum Rum, 2 oz Rot Gut Rum, 1/2 oz tuna oil, 1 1/2 oz tangerine peel oil, 2 oz moose juice, 6 oz shaved ice. Garnish with cocktail prick festooned with padding cotton.
DEMENTED FERMENTIA: 1/2 oz fermented palmetto bug squeezings, 1 oz 181 Rum, 1 oz quadruple sec, 3 oz pineapple juice, 1 tsp grapefruit juice. Garnish with fermented juniper berries.
HOMICIDAL TENDENCY: 2 oz dish water, 1/2 oz dirt. Sprinkle with dryer lint. Feed it to the neighborhood rats.

Here's what they're saying about "Lobo's Cocktail Madness: "
"I'd rather be drinking." -Tyrone Shoelaces, The Quarterly Bungle.
"Where do we get our money back?" - Segovia Carpet, The Paid Review.
"I don't understand the flow of the story" - Gary Shattire, The Chicago Chugger.
"We would love to read this 21st Century Dada book, if we were still around." -Marcel Duchump, Hans Earp, Max Earnest, Man Raygun, Tristen Zzorro, Salvador's Deli.
"This is the best book I ever read." - Abraham Lincoln, Civil War Correspondence.
"So many pictures, so little art." -Amelia Barfup, The Hourly World News.
"Picking up a Miscellany is like punching your day in the face." -Daryl Lickt, The Hourly World News.
"Early to rise and early to bed make a man sleepy, stupid, and dead." - Benjamin Frankly, Poor Richard's Arse.
"The decline of the aperitif may well be one of the most depressing phenomena of our time." - Luis Bunuel.
"I can't imagine how they will make it into a video game." - Curt Reply, The Gummy Gamer.
"They laid him brawdawn alanglast bed. With a bockalips of finisky fore his feet... Tee the tootal of the fluid hang the twoddle of the fuddled, O!" -James Joyce, Finnegans Wakeup Call.
"If Mug & Mali's aren't America's leading humorists, I can see why." -Isabelle Ringing, The Illiterary Journal.