Bag om Terrorists Beware that your Days are Numbered!
To our Amazement with a Capital A, Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, has done it once again! Yes, he has Constructed another Masterpiece of Fine Artistic Literature, and in only one Week, if you can Believe it! Yes, that appears to be another World Record: because it is his Fortieth Book in less than 2 Years! Therefore, Amazon.com is very Proud to be Blest with his Wonderful Books, which are Extremely Delightful to Read with a Capital R - that is, with Faith, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, and Persistence - beCause they Satisfy the Soul. Indeed, this Amazing Book Reveals HOW to STOP those Hateful Terrorist Attacks, Worldwide, while also Solving many other Massive Problems, which we Challenge you, or anyone else, to Prove to be WRong, Unworkable, or even Unreasonable. In Fact, if you can Prove Mr. Twain's Master Plan to be Unworkable, we will Reward you with the Congressional Industrial Military Bankers' Complex "Medal of Honor," which is the Highest Award in the Land: beCause it comes directly from the Big White OUTHOUSE on the Capitol Dunghill, "if'n ye Knowz what we Meenz," as "Nigger Jim" might say it. Frankly, you will know what we mean, if you just do yourself a little Favor, and read the first 20 Pages of the Book, which contains one of the most Beautiful Satires on Earth, by the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, himself! Yes, he is Unbelievably Sarcastic and Extremely Funny - that is, IF you have a Good Sense of Humor. However, the Subject Matter of this Inspired Book is not so Funny as it is Enlightening to the Mind, whereby you will no doubt Conclude that Master Twain is the one and only Person on this Earth, who has Reasonable Solutions for the Terrorist Problems, which are Direct Revelations from the Highest Powers that Exist, which will be Obvious by the Time you get to the Conclusion of the Book: beCause this Extremely Good Book also contains the Ancient Book of LEHI, which was once Lost! Yes, Master Twain Reveals what the Urim and Thummim were, which you can read about in the Holy Bible, which he has put to Good Use, you might say. After all, "there is nothing Secret that shall not be Revealed," as Jesus said; and, in this Case, it is for our Salvation from the Darkness of Ignorance: beCause Master Twain Shines the Light of God on the Chief Terrorists, beginning with that War Criminal who is Pictured on the Front Cover, who is still Running Free; but, not for long: beCause Master Twain has Plans for bringing all of them to Court in Shackles and Chains, if they do not Voluntarily Confess their Sins, and Open ALL of the Top Secret Files, including those of the KGB and ISIS (Israeli Secret Instigation Services), who will be more than Happy to Cooperate with Master Twain and his Legions of Muslims, who ALL Agree that it is now Time for True JUSTICE, Worldwide. Yes, every Honest Muslim, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist in the whole World Agrees with Master Twain about that. But, if you Doubt it, just Study this most Amazing Book with an Open Mind, and Check the Boxes [_] that you Agree with; and then Ask yourself whether or not you Think that George Warmonger Bush, Incorporated, will also Check the same Boxes? Indeed, there is no Way that Honest Sincere People could Agree with George; but, ALL of them will Happily Agree with Master Twain: beCause he Speaks the Provable TRUTH, which no Honest Person can Rightfully Deny. Yes, you must also Challenge your Friends and Naaberz with the same Question, which is not Unreasonable. Indeed, this Book Reveals HOW to Distinguish the Riichus People from the Wicked People, Guaranteed! We Trust that you are one of the Righteous People, and that you will do your Best to Expose the Real Terrorists in the District of Criminals, in Washington, who will Naturally not Like it; but, a Full Confession is Good for the Soul and the whole Nation. Ask the American Indians, if you Doubt it.
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