Humor

AN INSTANT USA TODAY and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BESTSELLERFrom the author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Barking Up the Wrong Tree comes a cure-all for our increasing emotional distance and loneliness?a smart, surprising, and thoroughly entertaining guide to help build better friendships, reignite love, and get closer to others, whether you're an extrovert or introvert, socially adept or socially anxious.Can you judge a book by its cover? Is a friend in need truly a friend indeed? Does love conquer all? Is no man an island? In Plays Well with Others, Eric Barker dives into these age-old maxims drawing on science to reveal the truth beyond the conventional wisdom about human relationships. Combining his compelling storytelling and humor, Barker explains what hostage negotiation techniques and marital arguments have in common, how an expert con-man lied his way into a twenty-year professional soccer career, and why those holding views diametrically opposed to our own actually have the potential to become our closest, most trusted friends.Inside you will learn:The two things essential to making friends ? and what Dale Carnegie got wrong.What creates love, reignites love, and sustains love. (There's no Build-A-Bear store for a happy marriage but this is close.)The ethical and effective way to get your partner to change.How social media can actually improve relationships.The antidote to loneliness and why what we usually hear doesn't work.And so much more. The book is packed with high-five-worthy stories about the greatest female detective to ever live, the most successful liar to ever open his mouth, genius horses, thieving hermits, the perils of perfect memories, and placebos. Leveraging the best evidence available?free of platitudes or magical thinking?Barker analyzes multiple sides of an issue before rendering his verdict. What he's uncovered is surprising, counterintuitive, and timely?and will change the way you interact in the world and with those around you just when you need it most.

Can there be anyone intelligent who can doubt that, far from being the liberating event its proponents argued it was, Brexit is turning out to be the disaster that many (but, sadly, not enough) people expected it to be? Rather than leave it like that, in true academic fashion the author has left no stone unturned, no unconsidered trifle un-snapped up, in scrutinising the mass of data which may contain grains of good news about Brexit. Not for him the pointless shredding of reputations and shallow theorising of our pygmy politicians: this is a fact-based book which will enable the diligent reader to arrive at their own considered view of this momentous event. Alternatively, you may simply want to use the pages as a commonplace book; to write begging letters to mortgage lenders; to draft a letter to the Irish Passport Office in the vain hope that a distant Irish relative from a couple of centuries back may qualify you for EU citizenship; or even in extremis, as loo paper. That, to be fair, is all that the Johnson "oven-ready" Brexit deal was good for...

If an astronaut farted during a spacewalk and neither sound nor smell is carried in a vacuum, did he really fart? This book will answer the question.Some packages say "Open here." What would you do if it said "Open somewhere else"? Why are they called "apartments" when they're all stuck together? Why do we say something we don't like "sucks"? Is sucking bad? Would you trust a proctologist with poor depth perception? What exactly are the duties of a rear admiral in the navy? Give a man a fish and he'll eat. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit on his ass in a boat all day. Pee for enjoyment, not employment! What would happen if a poisonous snake bit its own tongue? Why is lemonade made from concentrate while cleaning products are made with real lemon? If your coffee tastes like mud, maybe it was ground this morning. If you're in a vehicle going faster than the speed of light, what would happen if you turn on the headlights? If a new airport opened in Los Angeles, would the closed one be called "EX-LAX"? If it's zero degrees today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? If you live in a trailer at the top of a hill, are you upwardly mobile? If tweetle beetles battle with their paddles in a puddle and the puddle's in a bottle and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles, what does that mean? Dr. Seuss was here! If you threw a hand grenade into a French kitchen, you would have Linoleum Blown-Apart. Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.This is the ultimate collection of conundrums, oxymorons, parodoxi, puns, valuable trivia, and general advice for living. Won't you join in the fun as the author takes you around the world of the bizarre, the unanswerable questions and their answers, crazy facts, punny puns, and axioms that will improve your life in a hilarious way.

Are you thinking about sharing your stories with the world? Maybe you're already on the self-publishing path, or you're just starting out. Either way, you're not alone in this journey.Get ready for a whimsical ride that's more than just a guide - it's like chatting with a friend who gets it. This isn't your usual "how-to" book; it's like a cup of tea and a chat with a wise, fluffy feline friend.Step into the world of self-publishing with a twist, guided by the most unexpected mentor - Floofy the Cat! In "My Cat Becomes a Self-Publisher," you'll discover tales that are both delightful and filled with insights, all inspired by a cat's playful antics.Winnie Fontaine, the author behind the curtain, combines Floofy's kitty wisdom with real advice, accompanying you in your writing journey. You'll find yourself smiling at stories that warm your heart and tickle your funny bone.Inside, you'll find:Tips for finding your way through the writing maze.Ideas from Floofy that match your self-publishing adventure.A peek into how cats like to be themselves, just like you.Tricks to tackle challenges with a curious spirit.But hey, this isn't just about self-publishing - it's a story of going after your dreams. So, kick back, let Floofy's stories whisk you away, and join Winnie on a journey that's part advice, part inspiration, and all hearts.Dear friend of words, are you ready to jump into this friendly adventure? Let's explore together because sometimes, even a cat's point of view can light up the path to success. Get cozy - we're about to dive into a purr-fectly wonderful world of self-publishing!

'Contentment' is the story of a teacher who left his home country, Sri Lanka at the age of 25 years, in search of a better life in another country. He started in London, UK.As he travelled, he had three sons born in three different countries. The story highlights the challenges he faced as he drifted from one country to another in search of contentment in his life until settling down comfortably in Brisbane, Australia which he now proudly calls his Home. His contentment lies in successfully achieving his ambition of providing superior quality teaching services to students in the UK, Australia, and four developing countries of Africa, in authoring simple guidebooks on various genres to benefit learners around the world, and in endeavouring to maintain a cordial relationship with his close family members and friends.

This world may have seen more change in the last 60 years than ever before, but is it a better place? When you see the technical advancements and the impossible that has been achieved, you might think so. But with all this meteoric progress, there has also been dramatic changes in people's attitudes and behaviours. So, has the human race really made progress? Has it done a "good job"? This book tries to answer some of those questions and asks WHY? Are we a better and nicer race or should we be ordering some pills and our slot in the queue for the Pearly Gates anytime soon?By taking a humorous observational perspective, Steve Bishop tries to answer some of the key questions. Steve explores the changes in human attitudes and behaviours of everyday life and what might be causing them. He covers a range of topics from working with wallys, through minding the dog poo when you go out in the street to our attitude in the trashing the environment we live in. When we used to have fun, what's all this new woke that is making our lives a misery? From a 40 year career in dealing with complex clients at a senior level, he quite clearly sees many of the issues, and asks WHY? do so many intelligent people fail to use their common sense? Although you may think that technology and the birth of the tele tubby are responsible, he questions the rationale behind many other things, where in reality the cause might actually be a problem with people?

Stories Are FunDr. Merlyn Isaac-Emmons, PhD, Author.Mr. David Moore, Illustrator; Mr. Leroy Gill, Technical Editor; Mrs. Bianca Jacob, Lay-out artist;Editors: Dr. Ronald Smith & Mr. Kelvin Emmons.First Edition; 2023ISBN: 978-1-312-25950-8

Bartenders get better tips if they tell a good joke. These jokes are numbered so you can easily find your favorite and the printing is large so you can read it in a poorly lit bar!

Do you need to quit golf? Take a short quiz! 1. Do you show your golf scorecards to, well, uh . . . anyone? 2. At dinner, do you find yourself practicing your grip on your utensils? (The Vs of the fork's first tine, for the righthander, should point to the right shoulder.) 3. Look above you. Are there marks on the ceilings of your house because you can't help but try to "bust one" even when you're indoors and there is no ball? 4. Have you taken to reflexively calling your children "pards?" 5. Do other golf aphorisms make their way into your personal life? (Examples include finding your lost car keys and with a shrug saying, "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and again," or feeding your actual dog and exhorting, "Time to let the big dog eat!") 6. Does your dry cleaner, never having seen your swing but processing your bill, assume you are a golf pro? >If you answered "Yes" to any of the above, you really, really need to quit golf. Danny Cahill will make you laugh and nod with recognition in his latest book (part social satire/ commentary; part clever psychological study) about the game of golf and its intoxicating hold on those who love it. A likeable middle-aged golfer (coping with the thought that everything is in decline at this time of life) has crossed over from healthy hobby to unmanageable obsession. He knows he should quit spending so much time working on his golf game. He knows his life at home is unraveling. But fully aware of just how much the game is laying waste to his powers, he nevertheless continues to count the hours to his next tee time. Cahill's comic treatment of middle-age reckoning told through the lens of an obsessed golfer also takes a deep dive into the sport's eco system and its inherent appeal (and silliness?). Cahill's acute powers of observation will impress as he unravels golf's ability to entice like no other endeavor--and how to ultimately let go and preserve what matters. Any serious golfer will see themselves in Cahill's hero--they've thought his thoughts, shared his fears, and dealt with the effects on their family. The book will make golfers laugh, but also feel completely understood. The book explores the human need to find something that can still be improved, and through the prism of golf, examines the innate futility in trying to find meaning in a game that is, like the protagonist's life, both impossible to master and intermittently filled with joy and sorrow. Danny Cahill is the last guy to talk to about work-life balance. As a headhunter, he has built Hobson Associates into one of the country's largest privately held search firms. His coaching and training company, according to Danny, is the largest in the staffing industry. His motivational speaking and career coaching earned him the industry's highest honor, the NAPS Lifetime Achievement award. In his writing life, as a playwright, he has had works produced off Broadway and won both the Maxwell Anderson and CAB theatre awards. He is the author of the popular memoir, Aging Disgracefully, and Harper's Rules, which won an Axiom award. He attributes his success, fledgling as it is, to a systematic, consistent, and disciplined . . . neglect of loved ones.

More than 185 quotes and one-liners, stats, dialogue, jokes, trivia and many historic dates to remember - an essential read for Pythonites, young and old.

On title page "[o]" appears as an illustration in the form of a skull.