Humor

As a nation, we are on the move-in our work, our play, and the place we call home. Many homeowners are following their dreams of leaving the city for greener pastures. One of the most important benefits of moving to the country is the opportunity to enjoy nature with our families. Members of the National Suburban Sprawl Institute, an advocacy organization of land stewards, have built many fine new roads that wind through areas where animals live. We are proud to play a widely expanding role in promoting the enjoyment of nature's blessings from within the safety of your automobile. Land reclamation in the US has dramatically accelerated in the last decade: more than three million acres of forest, wetlands, and other useless open space have been converted every year to more prosperous suburban use. We take our land stewardship very seriously and will move mountains to insure responsible mortgage holders a safe, orderly country lifestyle experience. We hope this colorful activity book brings joy to your everyday and vacation travels.

"It's almost Christmas... But no presents have been delivered! Then suddenly, the waiting is over... And surprise follows surprise! Grab your hat and dive into the fun!"

Calvin and Hobbes are back. The energetic six-year-old and his sidekick tiger endure all the trials of youth and continue to endear themselves to millions of loyal readers in the latest collection of their shenanigans. This latest assembly of Calvin and Hobbes' adventures has never been collected in book form.

Another Self Indulging Collection of Fun Facts, Riddles, Jokes, Poems, Flash Fiction, Quips, Trivia, and all Around Silliness, but a Bit More Grown Up

18 Texte aus über 10 Jahren BühnenpoesieNicht selten hatten Menschen den Wunsch, ihre Ideen, Gefühle und Gedanken einfach mal an die Wand zu nageln, sodass sie andere besser sehen können. Emm Weyrauch hat diesen Wunsch öfter und versucht, ihn mit diesem Buch zu verwirklichen: einer Gedankengalerie. In ihr befinden sich Werke aus über zehn Jahren Bühnenpoesie, in Hinterhöfen, vor Schmiedeöfen, bei starkem Regen, mit Kirchensegen, mal wenig versöhnlich, auch viel zu persönlich und am Ende immer volle Kanne irgendwie sichtbar gemacht. All das und mehr wurde hier mittels zweier Buchdeckel gebändigt und für alle zur Verfügung gestellt.Bei diesem Buch handelt es sich nicht nur um eine einfache Textsammlung. Dieses Werk lässt niemanden allein durch sein Destillat aus Worten wanken. Zwischen einzelnen Texten wartet eine Führung durch Emm Weyrauchs höchst eigenen Gedankengang. Geprägt ist diese persönliche Tour von Erlebnissen bei Kulturveranstaltungen, von Neurodiversität, von Queerness, von Liebe, von Wut und all den Momenten, die dazwischen liegen ¿ es wird sichtbar, wie aus Worten Wunder werden.

Readers may be aware that Thomas Bulford died recently (though not as recently as before), and that I had what I then regarded as the onerous honour of editing his lexicographical work.Following this, his son presented the Publisher with a box of scribblings that he said were his 'distinguished' father's.My impression was that they were, indeed, Thomas Bulford's (the senior).Firstly, they bore a striking resemblance to the 'essays' that the Publisher insisted on being incorporated in the English Companion as introductions to the various definitional categories.Secondly, and I say this with as much grace as I can, they, whilst being somewhat idiosyncratic in construction and questionable in logic, contained a number of insights into the human condition that were also occasionally present in the earlier volume.Accordingly, with less reluctance than before, I agreed to edit this material, and offer it to readers for their judgement.Editor

The Author, Like Noah, was born in an arid dusty community legally and fasciously called Plentywood Montana. You could see sand dunes forever except they were call wheat fields and there were no camels. As a kid he migrated with his Danish family to Askov, Minnesota - home of the world famous rutabaga that was the life sustaining nourishment of Noah's carnivores during their cruise. In Askov the author learned how to apply birth control measures to rutabagas using a triangular hoe.Sailing experiences began for the author in a camp on Lake Hubert - where he became hooked on sailing. Later the Air Force taught him about nuclear weapons and he quickly discovered the true importance of mathematics. He obtained four degrees from the University of Minnesota, then went about teaching math and other things at several universities; SUNY, Oneonta, Cal State Northridge and Alliant Univ.It was during these student enlightenment years, as he fondly calls them, that he started receiving compelling revelations about first time boater Noah and how to prevent future drowning we must all become nice people and good sailors who enjoy bliss and joy on the water.Viggo and family have and are avid boaters. Their current boat "At Home" is a 32.6 Hunter located in San Diego. His online "Skipper Course" for beginning sailors is available through NauticEd. He is a professor, author of math textbooks and "Bounty Layer People", a book on immigration and education.

"In this humorous and gorgeously illustrated sucessor to the New York Times bestselling Subpar Parks, illustrator, humorist, and social media star Amber Share takes us around the globe with wit and wisdom in Subpar Planet"--

Pungent- a guy (gent) who thinks he's clever with words. This book comes with a laugh-time guarantee, or your money lost!Humor provides relief from distress and eases anxiety and depression. Creating this book was also welcomes self-therapy in the years of the pandemic, and I hope that providing this humor will be infectious in a good way, and entertainment worth sharing.Wordies and readers will find witty wordplay on these pages, along with some cartoons. Meet Word Dog, Paratweet, and Specs. They speak for you when you wish you could tell the author to give it up.

This masterpiece of mumble-jumble is dedicated to everybody who believe they see, but do not see, and for those who refuse to see, but believe they see. Work that one out if you can?All will be revealed, pray continue:

Discover the hidden world of garden gnomes in "The Secret Lives of Garden Gnomes: A Tell-All Memoir" by Gnomykins A. Gnome. From late-night shenanigans and gnome fashion rebellion to gnomehood activism and gnomicide, this memoir takes readers on a captivating journey through the quirky and adventurous lives of these mythical creatures. With humor, wisdom, and a touch of mystery, Gnomykins A. Gnome unveils the secrets, joys, and challenges of being a gnome in a human world.

MISS CAT - EN KATTENS DYGTIG DETEKTIVMiss Cat bliver hyret til at forhindre et mareridt i at blive til virkelighed. Den forfærdelige pirat Kaskelot Hvid, som alle kender fra Skipper Skægs berømte bøger, er ude på at æde byens borgmester. Men hvorfor? Miss Cat kaster sig ud i efterforskningen, og snart leder sporene hende til en bidsk hvalp ved navn Puppy, en sød delfin i en svømmepøl og en hav af grønne nisser ...Graphic novel for de 7-10-årige.En graphic novel hvor humoren, såvel som sproget, i høj grad sprudler. Historien understøttes på fineste vis af en super flot og fængende billedside. Illustrationerne er med til at sætte stemning og give karaktererne dybde. Anbefales helt klart til såvel folkebibliotek som PLC.LEKTØRUDTALELSEN, MISS CAT - SAGEN OM DEN FORSVUNDNE KANARIEFUGL

Maverick Smothers embodies his name in life and business. A brilliant entrepreneur already at five years old, Maverick enlightens the business world with his cutting-edge advice in Serious Business. He's heard 1000s of hours of business calls and has attended countless business meetings, though not by choice. His mom has a no-holds-barred attitude when it comes to speaking up in business, and Maverick has taken note over the years. Now, he's ready to share his wisdom with you! Learn solution-driven business advice like: - "In a serious business you have to pick the people that will sit with you because you only have so many chairs." - "Yeah when you're a kid its ok to cry when you lose but when you have a serious business you can't lose you just keep working." - "In serious businesses people can't take a lot of breaks otherwise we don't get a lot done." Blazing new paths with his unique perspective on running a successful business after his lifelong exposure to the tricks of the trade, Maverick serves up leadership principles and actionable insights even though, in his words, "I don't have time to just sit and talk right now. I'm trying to run a serious business." If you want to get serious about your business and career, Mav is your Serious Business partner. Every serious business needs business advice-and some laughs.

"Jerk It Right: Larger Penis Handjobs With Cool Tricks For Fit Rebels" by Had Matter is a groundbreaking guide that revolutionizes male fitness by introducing innovative exercises for a larger penis. The book explores the benefits of a sizable member, emphasizing portability and an interactive aspect linked to correct handjob techniques. The comprehensive guide covers proper grip, hand positioning, and core principles for effective exercises, extending to essential large penis exercises targeting upper body, core, and lower body integration. With a focus on dynamic stretches and exercises tailored for a thick shaft, the pre-jacking tease section highlights the importance of warming up for maximum load size. The advanced techniques delve into progressive overload strategies and enhancing the handjob experience through precise form, while the handjob programs offer routines for beginners to advanced users. "Jerk It Right" also addresses common mistakes, provides real-life success stories, and answers frequently asked questions, making it an indispensable resource for those looking to achieve fitness goals through the interactive ejaculation-enhanced penis.

Living on a hobby farm-the idea seems idyllic, doesn't it? Yeah, you betcha'...not when you have to slog out to feed the livestock in twenty-below-zero weather, with a raging blizzard and 30 mile-an-hour winds. When you live in the frozen tundra otherwise known as Minnesota, that kind of thing tends to happen.Or consider the delights of a Minnesota summer-when the temperature hovers above 90 degrees and the humidity is 10,000 percent. The animals still need to be tended, and the copious quantities of manure disposed of. Yup. It's all fun and games. At least until the manure piles up.If you've ever dreamed of having your own hobby farm, living off the land, and communing with nature-this book will open your eyes to what it's really like. You'll laugh, you will probably cry a little, and you'll scratch your head and wonder, "What in the heck was she thinking?!"

Guys: are you tired of missing out on opportunities to score? (And we're not just talking about extra points.) The Hail Mary Playbook lists over 100 playful, naughty, nice, funny "plays" that'll make you the MVP in your woman's life! This official gift-giving guide is packed with easy-to-execute and tested ideas to spice up your relationship. From first date plays to proposal plays - they're all in here. Never again get benched because you dropped the ball.Tell us if you've felt this before .. it's a big day. Whether that's a holiday, or birthday, you know that you're being counted on to deliver. You've been trying to think of something new, something special to get your Girlfriend or wife .. but you're coming up empty.Flowers? You've already done that.Jewelry? That was your last gift.Chocolate? Where do you begin, and is it enough?Remember the last time you tried to get her something special? Remember the disappointed look? Here's how the playbook works: 1st, pick your gift. 2nd, pick your play. 3rd, run your play and .. T O U C H D O W N ! Get in the game with specially created Chapters such as: Jewelry GiftsTravel GiftsGifts under $100Gifts above $100"Sorry I f**ked up" gifts Proposals¿¿¿¿¿¿¿You can't score if you don't get on the field, so what are you waiting for?

Have you experienced the unpredictability of travel whether domestically or abroad? Ever find yourself surprised by unexpected cultural differences? Do you wonder how people who live the lifestyle of a frequent business traveler maintain their sanity? A sense of humor and being able to laugh at yourself is often a good place to start. Tales of a Road Warrior is a collection of true short stories accumulated by someone who has logged about five million miles over many years of global travel. While most are humorous, and several talk about the pitfalls of travel, a few are more serious, and others show the positive side of travel.Through reading this book you will laugh a lot and see how the author learned some lessons in patience, understanding, and appreciating the cultural differences of people he met along the way. In any case, it is unlikely you will look at traveling the same way again.Bon Voyage!

Nearly ten years into his teaching career, Todd Sherman affirmed that no matter our age, we all have moments when our mouths don't sync with our thoughts. While teaching language arts to eighth graders in August 2007, he overheard a student blurt, "Floyd is not a first name." After the quote gave Sherman pause, he and the students decided to begin logging their hilarious sayings on the whiteboard. He recorded the comments, and soon "Quote of the Day" became a staple in his classroom.In an entertaining collection that includes many of the stories behind the quotes, Sherman shares over six hundred outlandish comments of his students organized into thirteen categories: Geography, Food, Animals, School, Sports, Anatomy, Color, Time, Punctuation/Spelling, The Dark Side, Captain Obvious, Mea Culpa (his quotes), and Miscellaneous (what's left). Quotes include, "I was in New York for like two days yesterday," "Raisins are basically grandma grapes," "I did the homework in my head," "I always thought Santa watched me through the air vent when I got changed," and much more.What Did They Say? shares more than six hundred hilarious comments from eighth-graders and the stories behind them catalogued by their teacher for thirteen years.

Affectionate yet blunt, this self-help send-up curates the witty tough love of generations of Latina ancestorsIf you’re tired of fluffy, feel-good self-help books, Mamá Didn’t Raise a Pendeja is here to deliver real talk with a side of sass. This collection of unapologetically blunt, tough-love sayings—"anti-affirmations," if you will—draws on generations of Latina wisdom to cut through the noise and offer hard-hitting advice on everything from relationships to careers.Created by first-gen Latinas Carolina Acosta and Aralis Mejia, this book captures the no-nonsense guidance passed down from their abuelitas and tías. Mamá Didn’t Raise a Pendeja doesn’t sugarcoat—it delivers practical life lessons with humor, honesty, and a few verbal slaps of reality. Packed with culturally rich, real-world insights, it’s the perfect self-help book for anyone looking to level up without the fluff.Whether you need a reminder to stay grounded or a push to tackle life’s challenges head-on, this collection will have you laughing, thinking, and getting your life together—all while keeping it real. Perfect for anyone in need of resilience, humor, and perspective, Mamá Didn’t Raise a Pendeja proves that sometimes the best advice comes straight from mamá.

Cat people love their cats deeply . . . maybe a little too deeply. Cats, on the other hand, secretly hate our haircuts but tolerate our presence because we have the thumbs to open the food can. Against the backdrop of fine art, bestselling author Nicole Tersigni delves into the minds of our feline companions and the people who serve them.

A whimsy collection of verses about desserts, real and imagined. Illustrated by the author. This is a companion book to Rosemary Butler's "My Merry Menagerie," "The Mysterious Snippets of Yarn," and "Funny Bugs."

"Celebrate this holiday season with all your favorite '90s stars, icons, and pop-culture moments. 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house the only sound you could hear was the click of a mouse. This illustrated gift book is a perfect stocking stuffer for anyone who wants to relive the best decade of the twentieth century"--

Based on the wildly popular and widely shared social media sensation, a customizable collection of adorably sincere messages to tear out and share with friendsTubby Nugget is the cutest little blob on the internet. His videos are full of pick-me-ups, encouragements, love, and loads of adorableness, and his millions of followers love tagging their friends in the comments. Now, you can take the sharing off of the screen.    In Tubby's Tearable Book, readers can tear out their favorite Tubby comics--both old and new--and create personalized notes for their friends. Most of the pages can be folded into envelopes (template included!), perfect to slip them into backpacks, lockers, under doors, or even into the actual mail. There are pages for every sort of friendship or relationship, including everything from little reminders that you're thinking of them, invitations for friend dates, recipes to make together, and much much more, this book is perfect for friends of all sorts.    Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or any time you need a dose of something super cute, Tubby's Tearable Book is a great gift to make you smile at any occasion!

Boomerist Fred Lavner presents an expanded excerpt from his hilariously funny memoir--BOOM: Comic Confessions of a Boomer Corner Boy. Camp Airy Hi-Jinx and Tricky Dick recalls glorious summers in the 1960s in the Catoctin Mountains, high above Thurmont, Maryland and adjacent to the Presidential retreat, Camp David. Lavner and friends engaged in plenty of fun and wild times, some of which are finally outside of the statute of limitations in three states!

This cute, warmhearted, laugh-out-loud book is a satire in the style of the "Baby's First" books we all grew up with. Combining full color pictures that could be appropriate for all ages, based on terms that are euphemisms and innuendo, this book will bring you joy. Perfect for expecting parents, newlyweds, and anyone stuck around children all day.Pick up a copy for your favorite parental unit today!

Go forth bravely into new adventures as humorist Stephen B. Bagley returns with another collection of tales from his wildly funny life. Enjoy these favorite stories:Of Shoes & Skinning Vegans, Wandering Through the Desert, Flipper the Endorphin,War of the Leaves,Stephen & the Pussycats,Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow,Jawing About Java,Sexy Seven,Have You Petted Your Kaiju Today?,Opera for a Philistine,Christmas Pickles,and many, many more!