Bøger af Mark Revolutionary Twain Jr

The Book of Ecclesiastes has been Misunderstood for thousands of Years, and the Song of Solomon is even more Misunderstood: because of not being Perfectly Clear, and because of Missing much Information; but, this New MAGNIFIED Version is very easy to Understand, and makes "Perfect Sense" to anyone with a High School Education, we would say; but, not even College Graduates can twist it around to be saying whatever they Imagine it to be saying, if they have Polluted their Minds with other Confused Versions, which are about as Clear as Muddy Water. This is truly one of the Best Books in the Marketplace, in our Honest Opinions; and we have read many books, as you can well imagine, since that is our Business. However, just to Prove it to yourself, click your Mouse on the "Look Inside" for the Book Preview, and see whether or not you agree with us Amazonians. After all, the Scriptures do say, "Oh Taste and See for yourself that the Inspired Words of the Master Farmer are Good for your own Soul," as our Selected King Interprets it, which anyone can now do, Free of Charge. However, strangely enough, X-amount of Silly People would prefer to Waste 8$ on another small Meal of Dog Food or Hog Slop at the Death and Hell Restaurant, which could make them Sick, or even KILL them, while this Inspired Book will Satisfy the Belly of your Mind with Sweet Fruits of Provable Truths and Profound Wisdom! Guaranteed! Therefore, be sure to tell all of your Spiritually-minded Friends, Relatives and Naaberz about it: because they will also no doubt Love it with a Capital L. Meanwhile, you can help yourself to Understand many of the Mysteries of Life, which now make Good Sense, Thanks to the Spirit of Truth. Make this a Good Day with a Good Old Book by one of the Wisest Men who ever Lived. Yes, there is a Time to Read a Good Book, and a Time to Rest your Eyes; but, this is a Time to Feast at the Table of Satisfaction with King Solomon, himself! Indeed, if you Doubt it, just check it out for yourself, O Lady Doubtfulness!

All Intelligent People, Worldwide, should be most Concerned about Climate Changes, which will Effect every Living Thing on the Earth, and especially if the Antarctic and Arctic Ice MELTS, whereby the Sea Level rises by 20 feet or more, whereby entire Cities of Confusion are under Sea Water! Indeed, almost no Nation on Earth would Escape such a Great Disaster with a Capital G and D. Therefore, NOW is the Time to Act Wisely, and get Prepared for the WORST: beCause the Worst might Happen. In Fact, there is no Guarantee from God nor Government that it will not Happen. Almost anything is Possible, including the Switching of the Poles, Violent Earthquakes, Volcanoes Erupting, Horrendous Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Droughts, Fires, Great Floods, Mudslides, and Landslides. Nevertheless, there is a Way Out, which is by forming "Seven Great Armies of Working Soldiers," who must immediately go to Work for Good Wages, building Beautiful Planned City States, called: "GLORIOUS Swanky Hotels Castles and Fortresses," which will not only Solve the Climate Changing Problems; but, also Solve at least 248 other Massive Problems at the same Time! Yes, that is the Good News that this Inspired Book presents in Understandable English, without Preaching any Lies, nor Selling any Trash! Moreover, if you are too Poor to Afford to Buy it, it is now Time to Visit your nearest Swanky Truth-brary, as opposed to the Public LIE-brary; or otherwise get together with some other Wise People, and pool your Resources! But, do not be Deprived of one of the Best Books in the World, which is Guaranteed to Satisfy the Belly of your Mind, if you Study it Carefully.

This Extremely Good Book is what we have all been Patiently Waiting for: beCause it Reveals HOW to Solve the World's Massive Problems in a Rational Manner, without going to War over Boundaries, Mating Rights, Ideologies, nor Territories, without Humiliating other Peoples, without making Enemies of anyone with Common Sense nor with a Good Sense of Humor, which is always Helpful when Dealing with People of other Languages, Cultures, Habits, Traditions, Philosophies, and Honest Opinions, who are often Suffering with Chronic Constipation of the Mind, who cannot Understand the most Simple Ideas, sometimes: beCause of Strange Reasons, which might seem to be Logical to them; but, not to us: beCause we were Raised Differently. For Example, many Americans Object to Capitalizing so many Words, saying that it Distracts their Minds from Concentrating on whatever the Message might be, while we at Amazon.com find it Helpful to get the Message Implanted into our Heads - even though some of us also Naturally Object. However, Master Twain has his own Good Reasons, which he has Presented in another Inspired Book, called: "Justifications for Capitalizations!" (WHY Master Twain Defies the School of Fools!), Book 049, which is Equally as Controversial as this Inspired Book: beCause it lays the Blame for many Misunderstandings on "The Public School of Ignorant FOOLS," who do not even Realize the Importance of Capitalizing all such Special Words as: Faith, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, Persistence, nor OBEDIENCE, which are "The Seven Basic Spiritual Building Blocks of LIFE!" Yes, all such Words are much more Important than Ford Motors and General ElecTrickery - not to mention the Phony Federal Burden of Investigation (FBI) and the Central Unintelligent Agencies (CIA), who have yet to Discover the Chief Criminals, who are Residing somewhere around "The BIG White OUTHOUSE on the Not-so-Biblical Capitol DUNGHILL!" - in the District of Criminals, that is, in George Washington's Backyard, which has the 2 Stinking Holes for the Dimwitcrats and Reprobates to Squat on, which is Filled with Ancient Political Elephant Droppings and Fresh Political Donkey Dung, which needs to be Cleaned Out by whatever Means is most Practical, which, in this Case is: "The Great Worldwide TELEVISED Court HEARING," whereby we, the People - the Tax Slaves, Interest Slaves, Insurance Slaves, Drug Slaves, Sex Slaves, and especially the Work Slaves - might get to Learn the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth: so Help us God, who is rather Displeased with the Horrible STINK that cometh forth from such an Odious HOLE, as Queen Elizabeth might put it - that is, in Elizabethan English, which Master Twain fully Exposed in the Light of Truth in: "The New MAGNIFIED Version of The Book of MOORMUN!" (The Story of the White and Dark Indians in the Americas!), Book 040, which is Truly one of the Best Books on this Good Earth, and much more Enlightening than this Book: beCause of Covering a thousand or more Fascinating Subjects! However, this Unique Book has a Special Place among all of the so-called "Tale Feathers" of the Colorful Peacock from Angel Ridge, who has done another Amazing Dance on his Computer Keyboard, which is Bound to Shake the Foundations of Capitalism to the Core, which has Produced all of those above-mentioned SLAVES! We Hope to God that you are not one of them - that you are, in Fact, Perfectly FREE with a Capital F! However, the Chances of that are Extremely Slender, if you are an Average America, with your Head Stuck in the Tail Pipe of ... well, we had better not say, as yet, lest we Offend some Political Rabbit with HOT Twitching Ears and Smoking Nostrils, who is about to Wet his Diaper! And it is not beCause of Indignation. No sir, it is beCause of being Defenseless! Yes, this Amazing Book will Disarm all of those Timid Rabbits, Worldwide! Guaranteed! (Please Click on the Look Inside button for the Book Preview. Thank you.)

Unlimited Energy - 99% Pollution-free, without any Trickery, can be, should be, and will no doubt be Demanded by the Tax Slaves, Interest Slaves, Insurance Slaves, Drug Slaves, and Work Slaves, and provided for everyone in the World, Tax-free - Thanks to the Inspiration of our Selected KING! Yes, as Unbelievable as it might Sound in the Ears of all Mockers and Scoffers, Amazon.com is now Offering a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove by Means of Reason and Logic that our Selected King's Master Plan is Unworkable, or even Unreasonable! Indeed, we are quite Confident with a Capital C, that his Plan will have NO Challengers: beCause he has made a Great Discovery, just by taking a Hike in the Mountains! Moreover, if you Doubt it, you may also take a Hike in any Mountains that you might Choose, and thus Discover the same Great Truth that he Discovered, and Reveals within this Amazing Book, which is quite Enlightening to the Mind of Greater Faith when you Combine that True "NOLIJ" with the Contents of this Inspired Book, which is one of the Best Books that we have ever "Red" with a Capital R, which Means that it must be read SLOWLY and Carefully with a Capital C - as in Thoughtfully, Prayerfully, and with a Bit of Common Sense. After all, that Unlimited Energy has been Overlooked (perhaps on purpose) by Scientists and Clergymen, alike, and certainly by Politicians and Medical Doctors, Drug Pushers, Outlaw Lawyers and Gangster Banksters - even by the Elite Class of Professors and the Money-grubbing Warmongering Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Sloth-gut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, himself - who all Overlooked something so Obvious to even an Honest 10-year-old Boy or Girl, who will quickly Agree with our Selected King, if they ever go Hiking in the Mountains after Reading this Inspired Book! Therefore, please Study the FREE Book Preview, and do not Forget that this Special Book presents a GUARANTEED Solution for our Energy Problems, Worldwide! Can you Beat that? Do you have a Better Plan? Does anyone on the Earth have a Better Plan? If so, where is it? Indeed, we Challenge anyone on the Earth to Present a Better Plan, for which we will Present him or her (or even an Alien from Jupiter) with a TEN-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD, in CASH, or GOLD, or whatever you Prefer!

Awe, and you were Thinking that you might have to go through the Great Tribulation, huh? Well, here is some really Good News: because the True Church will Escape "on the Wings of a Great Eagle," as Revelation 12 puts it, and this Inspired Book tells HOW, WHY, and WHERE that Church will Escape to - and NOT by Means of any Secret Rapture. Indeed, Mr. Twain is a Key Figure in that Great Escape, himself, who is more than Happy to Help you to Escape, if you are Interested. Most People are not Interested: because they are Fully Persuaded within themselves that it is all Religious BS, which could be the Case. But, suppose it is not the Case? Suppose there is a Way of Escape? Please click your mouse on the free Book Preview, and discover for yourself that Master Twain has a New Interpretation of some Old Words.

The Book of Isaiah is very Rich with Metaphors and Similes, if you are in Love with them, or not; but, most Poor People are not: beCause the Metaphors are far too "Foggy" for them to Understand, which Means that they must Practice Reading all such Books, just to get a Good Understanding of them. At any rate, this Version of Isaiah is by far the Best in the World, and is Rated as "Extremely Good" by Well-Educated People. Therefore, it is a "must read" Book, if anyone is Interested in Actually Understanding the Bible. Most People are not; but, that is not a Problem: because most People were not Born to be Masters. Indeed, most were Born to be Good Servants of Good Masters, which is Good: because the Masters are like the Head of the Body of Good Government, which Body must have many other Working Parts and Organs, just to Function Correctly as a Body. Therefore, do not let the Hands Despise the Eyes: beCause, what could the Hands Do without Eyes to Guide them, even if the Eyes belong to some other Person, who can See what is Needed. We suggest that Readers of this Inspired Book take their Sweet Time, and read only a few Chapters each Day, and do not attempt to read the entire Book during one Day, even though it will be Tempting to Finish it, quickly, just to Discover those Precious Parts that make it so Famous and Controversial among Religious Scholars, some of whom are very Perplexed by it: because no one can Rightly Deny that God, himself, is Speaking through "Isaiah," who may have been Reincarnated! Indeed, there is the Possibility of it; but, do not let that "Buck you Out of the Saddle," as a Cowboy might say. Remember that this is a Companion Book of: "The New MAGNIFIED Version of The Book of MOORMUN!" (The Story of the White and Dark Indians in the Americas!), Book 040, which is perhaps the Best Modern Book in the whole World! Yes, unlike the Mutilated Bible, the Book of Mormon is much more Understandable, being "a New Revelation from God," you might say; but, it is nothing quite as Enlightening as the New MAGNIFIED Version, which most Definitely contains New Revelations from the Supreme Ruler of this Heaven and Earth. Therefore, do not let the Sun Set on another Day of Deprivation; but, PLEASE, for your own Sake, Educate yourself with all such Good Books: beCause that is True Wisdom on your part, which will make you Glad that you did. Guaranteed!

Aha! - and here you have been Imagining that the Holy Spirit DIED, huh? Well, she Obviously did NOT! Indeed, this Inspired Book PROVES that she is still very much Alive and Well: beCause there is no Way that anyone on this Earth could write such an Extremely Good Book as this, within only one Month, without the Help of the Holy Spirit! In Fact, if you Doubt it, just Try the Experiment for yourself, O Lady Doubtfulness! Yes, you will Discover the Impossibility of it, if you just sit your BIG FAT ASS down in front of your own Computer, and go at it, yourself; and then, when you get Finished with writing your own Uninspired version of the Proverbs of King Solomon, and Compare it with this one, you will be Forced to Confess that you are NOT Gifted with any Holy Ghost, much less with the other Good Gifts of our Selected KING, who is fixing to Transform Rocks into Pure GOLD, Silver, and Precious Gemstones, just to Prove the Existence of a Great Creator GOD! Yes, that might Sound rather RADICAL to the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Sloth-gut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head; but, when our Selected King gets all of his Good Books lined up in Order, and everything else in Order, including his RED-HOT Cannon Balls, he is fixing to take over the Whole World!! Indeed, have you not read, "Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY!" (The 2020 Presidential Candidates Desperately Need Some STRONG Undefeatable COMPETITION!)? Well, do not let it "Buck you Out of the Saddle," as a Cowboy might say; but, Try to Understand that this World Desperately Needs Someone of his Caliber and High Rank to Govern it, which should be Governed According to the Inspired Proverbs of King SOLOMON! In Fact, our Selected King is the Reincarnation of Master Solomon, himself, even if no one Believes it, which will not Change the Facts by even 33 Degrees, O Masons! Therefore, it is now Time for you and everyone else to Discover just Exactly what King Solomon has to say in Plain English! However, some People might Complain that this Book COSTS TOO MUCH, while they Waste Countless dollars on Perfumes, Makeups, Paints, Gasoline, needless Insurance, Drugs, Dog Foods, Hog Slop, Vomit on Pie-crusts, Sports, Election Deceptions, and other Nonsense, which their Master - Jesus Christ - would Shun like Used Toilet Paper, as Huck Finn might say. Believe us, www.Amazon.com would not even Publish such Books as this, if they were not Good for our Souls, and Far Superior to anything that one might Discover in the Public School of Ignorant FOOLS, in some LIE-brary! For Example, here is one of those Proverbs of King Solomon in plain English: "O my Daughter, a Virtuous Woman Feeds her Dear Children DAILY with Sweet Fruits of Satisfaction, and she Covers them with Robes of Righteousness; yes, she Teaches to them how to 'Reed and Riit': so that they can Study all of the Good Books of TRUTHS and WISDOM for themselves in a Swanky TRUTH-brary, whereby they can Grow in Grace and in True Nolij." And here is one more to Meditate on: "The Way that every Man Chooses to Live, even in the City Dump, is Correct in his own Eyes; but, the Right Way to Live, my Son, is to be Exceedingly Humble and Honest at all Times, and be Ready to CHANGE your Mind: beCause it is written that only Ignorant Fools and Proud Morons never Change their Minds." Therefore, get Ready to Change your Mind about a LOT of Important Subjects, O Irreverent Know-it-all, and Understand that our Selected King could MAGNIFY many of his Proverbs into whole BOOKS: beCause of the Richness of them! Indeed, there may come a Happy Day when he does just that; but, not until he has at least a thousand Years to Accomplish it! Moreover, you might also need a hundred Years to read it all; but, after reading this one Inspired Book, you will not Fear it by any Means: beCause it is SHEER JOY to Learn all such Great and Profound Truths, as Judge Thatcher would no doubt Confess! Indeed, "even the Poor Old Widow Douglas will get a Good Kick in the Posterior. Guaranteed!"

Ever since Adam and Eve were "Kicked Out" of the Garden of Good Eating, much of Mankind has been Suffering with the Great Question concerning WHAT to EAT, which has now become a HOT Topic in the United States of North America, which holds the World's Record Number of OBESE People - some of whom are so FAT as to not even be Able to squeeze through their Bathroom Doorways, while others are Sadly so Fat as to not be Able to even get Out of BED! So, we might well ask, "Just Exactly WHAT brought all of this about?" Well, if a Body is Starving for Necessary Vitamins, Minerals and Enzymes, such a Person could be Hungry all of the Time, even after Eating enough Foods to Feed an Elephant! However, if a Person is only being Tempted by Advertisements on TV, the Solution is relatively easy - just Shut Off the TV, a Study this Good Book - which is not so Simple when one Weighs more than ones own House, as a Comedian might say; but, you can get someone to read the Book to you. Nevertheless, God knows that there must be a Good Reliable and Workable Solution, which has been Revealed to Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, who has not required the "Services" of a Medical Doctor in more than 50 Years! Indeed, he has not used any Medicines during all of that Time, and can still put in a Full Day's Work without any Aches nor Pains the next Morning, which few Old Men can Honestly say. His "Secrets" to Good Health are now Revealed in this Exceptionally Good Book, which is Worthy of every Capitalized Word, which Words could Save your Life, if you Believed them with a Capital B. Therefore, do not allow his Writing Style to Spook you Away by any Means: beCause it is only Good Camouflage to HIDE Master Twain in the Concrete Jungle, who most Definitely has his Natural Enemies, who consider his Inspired Books to be a Great Threat to their Evil Empire, which is no Doubt the Truth of it: beCause he Fully Intends to bring Down that EVIL Empire, and make the World into a Wonderful Paradise for all Believers, even as he Revealed in his other Inspired Book, called: "The Environmentalists' Paradise!" (HOW almost Everyone could be Living in a Beautiful Manmade Paradise!) Yes, it is Physically and Monetarily Possible, and most Practical! Guaranteed! Yes, Amazon.com offers a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove that it is NOT Possible, Practical, Workable, or otherwise a BAD Idea. Therefore, put up or shut up, as they say, O Lady Doubtfulness. Remember that we at Amazon Publishers have the Great Advantage of Knowing what is found within Mr. Twain's Inspired Books, which is no less than a Revelation from GOD! But, you do not have to take our Word for it, nor even Trust us to have it Riit: beCause you may Study the Words for yourself, and then draw up your own Honest Conclusions, which is Wise of you and of everyone else. Indeed, we Trust that you will Do just that, and Stop Complaining about your Sorry State of Perplexing Poverty: beCause Master Twain also tells HOW to Solve that Problem, and without Borrowing any Money, nor going into Debt to anyone. In Fact, he will HIRE you to Help Build your own Swanky PALACE, and pay top wages! Therefore, Kick the Devil in the Mouth, and get after it: because this is a Real Satisfying "Meal," which Costs less than another Bottle of MediSINZ, and will NOT Upset the Belly of your Mind, nor Cause any Chronic Indigestion! But, it will give to you much Hope, while Increasing your Faith and Love for All that is GOOD. Therefore, make this a Good Day in the Company of Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, who is the Reincarnation of Mark Twain, himself, who no longer smokes those Stinking Cigars, nor Curses like the Devil! Yes, you could say that he is more Civilized after being Recycled, Born Again and Resurrected! (Just Click on the Book Cover for a Free Book Preview, to see what we Mean.)

Few Women in the World could ever guess what crossed the Inspired Mind of our Selected King; but, it is such Good News that it should be published in all Newspapers and Magazines, Worldwide, and also advertised on all Television Channels and Radio Stations: because it is Truly REVOLUTIONARY! In fact, it is the Best News that this Generation of People have ever heard, Guaranteed! Indeed, www.Amazon.com offers a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove by means of Reason and Logic that the previous Statement is not True! Yes, just Study the "Good News for REBEL WOMEN," and discover for yourself that it is True, and Amazingly so: because he Reveals HOW almost all Women in the World can become Moderately Rich without ever leaving their Homes, nor even getting jobs! Moreover, if that sounds Unbelievable to you, you are not alone: because most Rebel Women do not Believe it; but, after Carefully Reading this Inspired Book, they will have to Confess that it IS True! Therefore, do not allow the Lady Doubtfulness to Discourage you by any Means: beCause all of the Unbelief in the World will not change the Facts by even 14 Degrees. After all, it could be that many Women in the World will have no Desire to become Moderately Rich, even if it is Possible: beCause of whatever Mysterious Reasons, including Partial Insanity! However, most Sane Women and Sound-minded Men will have to Agree that it would be much Better than Experiencing another Hateful World WAR! After all, this is a PEACEFUL Revolution, which only Requires "The Great Worldwide TELEVISED Court HEARING," whereby the Whole Truth can be Revealed, and the Masses of People are the Judge and JURY, who can and should Exercise their DUMBmocracy, and VOTE for "The New RIGHTEOUS One-World Government!" Indeed, you will Fully Understand it, AFTER you Study this Wonderful Book, whose Inspired Author has already been Nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize! Therefore, even if you are not Personally Interested in it, please make sure that someone else is: beCause this World of Woes is in Desperate Need of the Benevolent Assistance of a RIICHUS KING, whose Reasonable Solutions are Astounding! Moreover, they are told with his Special Wit and Humorous Wisdom, as only he could do and has done without any Hiccups, Burps, nor Lying Blurbs. Trust him: because he has no Trash for Sale. In fact, if you are not 100% Satisfied with his Inspired Books, you can get your money back. Therefore, "Put your Best Foot Forward," as they say, and Exercise a little Faith: beCause, even as Bleak as things might now be looking, there is still much Hope, if we just Exercise our Faith, Hope, Love, Trust, Patience, Persistence, Obedience, and all such Good Things. For God's Sake, do not be Spooked Away by the Capitalized Words: beCause they are only Camouflage for our Selected King, who is already in Grave Danger for his Inspired Words of Provable Truths, which are a Great Threat to the Evil Empire, which has Produced so many Wonderful Rebel Women and Bearded Men. Remember "The GWTCH!"

This Inspired Book presents a Reasonable Solution for the Gridlock in Washington, D.C., which is the District of High-ranking Political Criminals, who deny practically every Truth within this Enlightening Book, which Proposes the Establishment of a New RIGHTEOUS One-World GovernMINT, which Mints and Prints the necessary New Money - NOT to give it away to Ignorant Fools, nor to put it into the hands of Untrustworthy Banksters; but, in order to HIRE whomever is Willing and Able to Learn and Work, in order to help build Beautiful Planned City States, which will Solve more than 5,000 Problems, just by their Designs, alone! For Example, they have no need for Cars, Vans, Buses, Trucks, Tractors, Lawnmowers, Weed-eaters, Snow Blowers, Motorcycles, nor any other Noisy Stinking Polluting ABOMINATIONS, which all Righteous People HATE: because they have Love and Respect for our Good Earth, which used to have a Billion-year Supply of Fuels to use Wisely by Humanity, which has now been reduced to a 100-year Supply! Therefore, it is High Time for Wise People to WAKE UP, and Exercise their DUMBmocracy, and Elect a RIGHTEOUS KING to take Charge of this World of Wonders, and use that remaining Fuel to build: "GLORIOUS Swanky Hotels Castles and Fortresses!" (Beautiful Planned City States for WISE Intelligent Well-Educated People with Common Sense and Good Understanding!) Yes, it is High Time that we come to Realize the AWFUL Situation that we have gotten ourselves into, which is very likely going to End with a Great Atomic Nightmare, if we do not Establish a New RIGHTEOUS One-World GovernMINT, which has an Unlimited Amount of New Money, which must be Earned by Honest Labor, without any Loans, without any Interest, and without any Taxes. Moreover, Master Twain explains HOW to do all of that within this Special Book, which should be Published to all Peoples in all Languages, Worldwide. However, if you Disagree with his Master Plan, we would like to Hear from you: because Amazon offers a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove Master Twain's Master Plan to be Unworkable, or even Unreasonable. Indeed, his Plan calls for 100% Employment, Worldwide, and forevermore with Good Swanky Wages! Furthermore, he Challenges anyone in the World to present a Better Master Plan: because his Plan is a Revelation from GOD, who is the Highest Source of Learning and Enlightenment. However, it is Understood that X-amount of Ignorant People will Mock Master Twain's Master Plan, and unto their own Great Shame: beCause of their Unbelief, Rebellion, Selfishness, Lusts, and GREED! Yes, that is mainly what is WRong in Washington, which is Controlled by Rich People, who Belong to the Military Industrial Congressional Bankers' Complex, which is Governed by the Synagogue of SATAN! Otherwise, the vast Majority of People would be Happy to Elect a Righteous King to Govern them, and Stop Playing Political Games. Yes, Master Twain only asks for a Fair Hearing, and could care less WHO that Righteous King IS, just as long as he has the most Reasonable Solutions for our Massive Problems, which can be Proven at: "The Great Worldwide Televised Court Hearing!" So, are you Brave enough to Think OUTSIDE of the Prison Box that you were Born into? Are you Willing to GIVE UP your Stinking Noisy Polluting Car, in order to Live within a Swanky PALACE? If so, this is the Best Book for you to Study, Carefully; but, if not so, you should get yourself Prepared for the Great Atomic NIGHTMARE, which is your Just Reward for Rejecting Truths without a Just Cause, O Lady Doubtfulness. Yes, Double Shame shall be on YOUR Head for Rejecting the Provable Truths within this Inspired Book, O Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Sloghtgut Windbag Hole-in-thy-Head! Shame on you! But, Triple Shame on the Head of that Great False Anti-Christ Federal Cover-up Lying Government in Washington, which knows for a Fact that Master Twain is Correct about all such Subjects.

Please see the Description for Volume 1. Thank you.

"Oh, what a Long Boring Book to read," you might say; but, you would be "Dead WRong," as we at Amazon.com would say: because very few parts of this Inspired Book are Boring with a Capital B, much less Boring to a Latter-day Saint, or even to a Latter-day Sinner, who is Seeking the True Riches, which are the Spiritual Riches of Provable Truths, which are like Precious Gemstones in the Book of Mormon, which Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, has MAGNIFIED beyond all Belief Imaginable! In Fact, if you read this Wonderful Book, and do not Agree that it is one of the Best Books in the Whole World, and perhaps the Best Book that you have ever "red," we will Sadly Refund your Money and Pray for your Poor Lost Soul: because Literature hardly gets any Better. In Fact, we will DOUBLE your Money Back, if you can Prove that you "red" the Entire Book with an Honest Open Mind, and did not Discover anything of more Value than the Price of the Book, itself - which, to us, is Worth far more than another Tank of Gas, or even several Tanks of Gas for those Gas-hog Cars; and we are known as "Car Worshipers," according to Mr. Twain, who does not Own any Cars, and Prefers to Ride the Electric Subway Train and the Elevator, which he Claims that everyone in the World could be doing, if they Lived in Beautiful Planned City States, such as he Proposes in: "The Right Design for Living!" (A List of Great Advantages for Building Beautiful Planned City States!) Whatever the case, we must Confess with a Capital C that if such a City has more than 5,000 Good Reasons and Great Advantages over normal Cities of Confusion, we should Whole-heartedly Accept the Idea, and especially in the Light of the Fact that all such Cities have ZERO Disadvantages! And that is WHY the Nephites and Lamanites supposedly Built all such Cities, centuries ago, in the Americas, which are Described in this Amazing Book! Now, of course, X-amount of Poor People will just Naturally say: "We cannot Afford to Buy such a Book, even if it is the Best Book in the World!" Well, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Happy to Help you out on that! Indeed, if you are Extremely Poor, and cannot Afford to Buy this Inspired Book, just Contact the Officials of that Church, and see if they will not Help you: because we are Certain that they will not Want to Lose the TITHES and Generous Offerings of Master Twain, who has more than 40 Good Books for Sale at Reasonable Prices. (Just click your Mouse on the Author's Name for the Proof.) In Fact, you may also Sell any one or all of them, and KEEP 90% of the Net Profits for your own Prosperity and Happiness! Therefore, how can you Lose? Indeed, if this is one of the Best Books on the Earth, it is Bound to Sell Well, in spite of all of the Capitalized Words, which are CAMOUFLAGE for Master Twain, who is a Great Threat to the Evil Empire, which cannot Tolerate all such Words, which Irritate the Bellies of their Minds, you might say, and even make some of them SICK! Therefore, they will not be Able to Study all such Inspired Words of Provable Truths, much less Muster Up any Murderous Army of Deceived Soldiers for going to War against the Man with the Spirit of Elijah, who Wields the Sharp Sword of Divine Truths, which can Remove the Head of Lies with one Swift Stroke, you might say! Yes, just one Good Sermon in this Inspired Book will Prove that Point to you, even as many of them did for us at Amazon.com. Therefore, be Bold, be Brave, and get Ready for Great Surprises: because this Book is full of them! Just Click your Mouse on the "Look Inside" for a Free Book Preview, and you will know what we Mean. Saint Albatross could not have done any Better. Moreover, there is not enough Space in this Description to Explain what that might Mean.

The "Impossible" is now most Practical, when it comes to Solving the Gun Violence Problem, Gang Wars, and Terrorist Attacks, Worldwide. Yes, it is not just an American Problem: because would-be Murderers are "everywhere," you might say, and no one knows just when the next Shooting will take place, nor whether or not YOU nor I will be the next Victim of another needless Violent Crime. However, there is now at least HOPE for Fixing all such Problems, which will not be easy; but, it is Guaranteed to WORK, which is most Important, and really Good News, which should be Shouted Out from the Housetops, you might say! Yes, this Unique Book contains by FAR the Best News that we have heard, yet, concerning this Serious Subject, which is WHY www.Amazon.com is offering a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove by means of Reason and Logic that our Slected King's Master Plan will not Work Well to Solve the Gun Violence Problems, Gang Wars, Unemployment, Poverty, Riots, Police Brutalities, Diseases, Drug Addictions, Drug Trafficking, Sex Slave Trafficking, and all Kinds of Crimes - at least for everyone who BELIEVES and OBEYS, which might Sound like very "Nasty Words" to some People: beCause of having very BAD Masters; but, the Inspired Author will no doubt have them Changing their Minds with his Inspired Words of Provable Truths - that is, IF they can Discover the Patience to Read all of the Words! Therefore, do not allow any Lady Doubtfulness to Discourage you by any Means: beCause she has certainly not Collected any Million-dollar Reward for Proving our King's Plan to be WRong, nor can she even Present a Reasonable Argument against his Master Plan, which is Outlined in various Inspired Books, which can be found on our Website for Reasonable Prices, and often for less than a small meal. However, we must tell you right up front that this is most certainly one of the Best Books ever written, which you can Partly Discover for yourself, just by Reading the FREE Book Preview on our Website, by Clicking your Mouse on the Book Cover. However, the Best Parts of all of our King's Inspired Books are found HIDDEN within the Volumes of the Books, for Wise Intelligent Patient People to Discover, who will be very Glad that they Endured the "Long Boring Painful Process of LEARNING." Yes, you must Read it with a Capital R - as in Carefully, Prayerfully, Thoughtfully, and with a Good Sense of Humor: beCause this Inspired Book is not only Educational and Enlightening; but, it is also Entertaining with Special Humor, even as almost all of Master Twain's Books are, which makes them Extra Special, even if Pumpkin-heads and Numbskulls cannot get it. Remember that you are also Welcome to SELL any one or even all of our King's Books, and KEEP 90% of the Net Profits, whereby you can make yourself and others Happier: beCause of the Liberating Truths within his Wonderful Books, who is one of the few Old Men on the Earth who can Honestly say that he has not needed the Services of a Medical Doctor in more than 50 Years, nor has he consumed any MediSINZ, as he calls them: beCause of being in Good Health, even though he has been Accused of having a few Loose Screws in his Head, whereby he Imagines himself to be some Great KING, if you can Believe it, which is just Camouflage, which he uses to Spook Away his Worst Enemies, who are just Naturally Afraid of Righteous Kings, who might Straighten them Out with a Capital S and O - as in, "Oh my God, has the Anti-Christ finally Appeared!?" Well, you may be the Judge of that for yourself, after Studying this Revolutionary Book, which is Destined to Attract the Riveted Eyeballs of more than one Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Sloth-gut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, who is Bound to go OUT of Business when the Sword of Truth Removes his Head of Religious LIES! At least we Hope so, and especially if he is one of those Radical Murderous Muslims or Warmongering "Christians"!

When God Speaks, the Whole World MUST Listen: beCause it has been a very Long Time since he last Spoke to Moses from the Burning Bush, on Mount Sinai, which only God would know the Location of, since no one has Discovered it. However, almost anyone in the World can Discover and Read this Inspired Book, whereby the Most High God is Speaking to all of us by his Spirit of Truth, which all Readers of all Faiths are Encouraged to do: beCause this Unique Book is Addressed to all Intelligent People, Worldwide. Indeed, it is Educational, Inspirational, Uplifting, Encouraging, Entertaining, Profound, Prophetical, and even Dumbfounding to the Uninitiated Reader, who has not yet Discovered our Selected King's many other Inspired Books: beCause this Wonderful Book is the Crowning Work of a True Literary Artist, whereby "the Last shall no doubt become the First," you might say: beCause it Draws up Dramatic Conclusions, and makes the Holy Bible make Good Sense - at least in as much as that is Possible, seeing that much of the Bible is a Mutilated Book, which does not even make Good Sense to Almighty God, who is Falsely Accused of Inspiring it, who sets the Record Straight within this Inspired Book, which makes Perfect Sense, even if you are not a Biblical Scholar by any Means. Indeed, you only need to be an Open-minded Honest Person, who is Willing to Confess the Facts, which our Selected King points out for our own Salvation, Peace, and True Prosperity. Yes, this Controversial Book Presents Reasonable Solutions for many of our Worst Massive Problems - such as Poverty, Hunger, Unemployment, Underemployment, Education Slavery, Work Slavery, Tax Slavery, Interest Slavery, Drug Slavery, Insurance Slavery, Sicknesses, Diseases, Car Accidents, Wars, Famines, and you Name it. In Fact, we Offer a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove our Selected King's Solutions to be WRong or Unworkable. Can you beat that? Can anyone else Beat that? Trust us, you will not Regret Clicking your Mouse on the Book Cover for a Free Book Preview, which is almost Guaranteed to Work Up an Appetite for the Remainder of the Book, which we Predict will be one of the single most Sold Books in all of History, in spite of all of the Capitalized Words, which are Designed to Turn Off all Unbelievers, who do not Deserve to Escape from the Great Tribulation nor from the Mark of the Beast: beCause of the Rejection of Provable Truths without a Just Cause! Damn your Unbelief, O Lady Doubtfulness!

Just Think, O Friend or Enemy, what the World might be like, IF everyone could HEAR or READ your own Honest Opinions about certain Important Subjects? Yes, almost everyone in the World has "Freedom of Speech," but, no Way to Deliver their Messages to the World: beCause of being Limited by MONEY! Therefore, our Selected King has come up with the Idea of having a One-World Government "FREEDUM uv SPEECH Speshoul Maguzeen uv Onist Upinyunz," which anyone can Contribute to, once it has "Caught On." Indeed, this is the First Edition of that Magazine, which will give to you a Good Example of what it will be like, which is written in "Funetik Ingglish," which might appear at first glance to be Difficult to read; but, we assure you that it is not at all Difficult, if you can already read English, which most People can: because it is the Official International Language, which is ten times easier to Learn in "Funetik Ingglish": because there is only one Way to spell one Sound, while Standard English has 300+ Ways to spell 30 Sounds, which causes Confusion within the Minds of most Students, which is WHY our Selected King Invented his Special Version of Phonetic English, which can be used on any English Keyboard, Worldwide, or even on a Typewriter, if someone is still Living in the 20th Century. Our Selected King wrote his books with an Ink Pen, Years ago, and his Inspired Words are just as good Today, as ever. However, if he had had Modern Computers, he would have no doubt written many more books: because of the convenience and ease of Editing all such books. For Example, our Selected King has written more than 70 Inspired Books during the past 3.5 Years, which is probably a World Record - at least for Amazon Publishers, which is the World's Largest Book Publishing Company! However, one must be INSPIRED to Write, in order to be Able to write so many Exceptionally Good Books, which contain Guaranteed Reasonable Solutions for our Massive Problems, which almost all People will come to Realize during the near Future, and especially if they Attempt to write their own Solutions in their own books, which no Politician would dare do: because it could prove to be the End of the Road for him or her; but, not for our Selected King, who is the Reincarnation and Resurrection of Mark Twain, himself, who has the Great Advantage of Accumulative NOLIJ. Moreover, the Proof of it is found within his Inspired Books, even if the Lady Doubtfulness does not Believe it. After all, it is just a Matter of Time, and "The Swanky Sword of Divine Truths" will Win all Controversies; and our Selected King has a Good Hold on that Swanky Sword of Divine Truths, which is Guaranteed to Cut Off the Head of Lies, beginning in the District of Criminals, in Washington. However, if you Doubt it, please check out his other Inspired Book, called: "Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY!" (The 2020 Presidential Candidates Desperately Need Some STRONG Undefeatable COMPETITION!) Yes, it will Light your FIRE, as they say, and get you Pumped Up for the next Election Deception - that is, unless you Vote for our Selected King! Indeed, he is the one that we Amazonians are going to Vote for: because we know what is found in his Inspired Books, which are Exceptionally GOOD. Therefore, make this a Good Day for yourself, and Enlighten your own Mind with his Inspired Words of Provable Truths! Yes, tell all of your Frendz, Relutivz, Naaberz and even your Enumeez about it, who might be Converted: because it is possible for all of you to make yourselves Moderately RICH, and become the Best of Good Friends! So, why not give it a Test? Why Juj any Subjikt before you have Lernd ALL of thee Evidens?

"The Seven Basic Spiritual Building Blocks of LIFE" are quite commonly known among most People in the World; but, if your Faith is Built on a False Religious and/or Political Foundation, such a House of Lies may not Stand, and especially if you are Confronted with "The Swanky Sword of Divine Truths," which is very Sharp and Powerful, and well able to Cut Off the Head of Lies with one Swift Stroke! Yes, such is the Sword that is Wielded by our Selected KING, who Demonstrates the Use of his Sword of Truths within this very Controversial Book about Faith, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, Persistence and Obedience. In Fact, it Addresses some of the Hottest Issues of our Time, and contains a Special Speech by the Most High God, himself, which is likely to Shake the very Foundations of Capitalism to the Core! Indeed, we know of no other Book in the World with such a Powerful Speech, when put into Context with the Remainder of this Unique Book, which Speech our Selected King wrote in 30 minutes or less by the Spirit of Inspiration, which is in Deed REVOLUTIONARY! Therefore, do not Deprive yourself of it, nor Speculate about what might be in it; but, read it Carefully and Prayerfully, and Invite your Friends, Relatives, and Naaberz to do the same. After all, it is a Rare Thing when Almighty God SPEAKS, and you will Know in your Soul that it was he who Spoke when you Read it with a Capital R, and with an Open Honest Mind. Moreover, this Inspired Book reveals HOW to Resolve the Controversies concerning the Evil Events of September 11th, 2001, and also get Justice for everyone, Worldwide, which has a Happy Ending.

The Enticement, our Selected KING, traveled the World over from Country to Country, and from City to City, only to discover that the Love of Money is not an exclusive thing with Americans, only; but, that almost all Peoples are Possessed with the same Evil Spirit of Possession Worshipers, which has actually made those People much Poorer than they would have been without it! Yes, they are now Deprived of the Best Things in Life, including Fresh Clean Air, Pure Living Water, Good Wholesome Natural Foods, Secure Houses, Luscious All-Mineral Organic Gardens, and Good Health, which is True Wealth. Nevertheless, after wandering all about, our Selected King decided that it would be best for him to try to leave the World in a Better Condition than he found it; and therefore, he took the Good Advice of Jesus Christ, and sold almost all that he had, and put his hands and tools to WORK, building a Good House for a very Poor Mexican Family, which was Cast Out of "The Divided States of United Lies," who forgot to Love their Naaberz as much as themselves, and do unto others as they would have others do unto them. (See www.Amazon.com for: "What is WRong with those CRAZY Christians " for many Photos and Explanations of that Marvelous House and the hard work they did during just 2 years.) Indeed, that little Family moved more than 66,666,666 pounds, by hand, just to build the million-dollar house, which is designed to endure the Test of Time, come hell or high water, as they say! And this Inspired Book reveals HOW you and almost everyone else can have an equally Good House, or even Better, without Preaching any Lies, nor Selling any Trash for the Love of Money!

"The Environmentalists' Paradise" is much more than just a "Funny Book," even though it does have a Fair Amount of Humor in it, just to keep the Attention of the Readers, if that is Possible. After all, most Americans have an Attention Span of less than one Minute, and certainly have no Intentions of "Wasting" 10$ on a "Silly Book," which Capitalizes 50% or more of the Words, which is Proof that the Author must not know HOW to RIIT Properly. However, we can Assure you that our Selected King, is a GENIUS of Sorts, who knows how to Spook Away his Worst Enemies, who might Try to Kill him for Revealing too many Truths, who would not even Capitalize "BITE," if Alligators took Big Bites Out of their own Buttockses! Indeed, for the Lack of Capitalizing TRASH, and making a BIG Issue about those Trash Dumps, Worldwide, we now have tens of thousands of Capitalist Trash Dumps, which are Environmental Disasters for Air, Waters, Lands, Plants, Animals and Peoples, which no one knows HOW to Clean Up: beCause, "it is like Rearranging the Furniture on the Sinking Titanic," as the saying goes. In Fact, we are now Running OUT of Places to Bury all such Capitalist Trash. For Example, one such Dump is found on Long Island, just outside of New York City, which is no less than 5 Miles Long and a half Mile Wide, which takes in no less than 400 Railroad Boxcars of Trash and Garbage per Workday, which is mostly "Out of Sight," and therefore, "Out of Mind." However, it is a Disgraceful Shame with a Capital D and S: beCause it is like an Environmental Abscess on the American Brains, which no one knows HOW to get Rid of, nor Stop Multiplying - except for our Selected King, who Proposes that we Build Beautiful Planned City States, which are Designed to Produce very little Trash, or no Trash at all in some Cases: because that is Physically Possible and most Practical. After all, who Wants or Needs any such Trash while Picking and Eating Sweet Fruits from their own Fruit Trees? Indeed, most of the Trash is Related with Unnatural Plastic Packaging Materials for Meats and Drinks and Things that do not come in their own Natural Packages - such as those Sweet Juicy Fruits and Nuts, even though many Products are Designed for the Trash Dumps: beCause Capitalism is in a Race with itself to Produce more and more Trash, just to keep everyone Working! However, our Selected King Proposes a MARVELOUS New Plan, whereby almost everyone can become Moderately RICH, and not Lack any Good Thing on the Earth, beginning with Fresh Clean Air, Pure Living Water, Wholesome Natural Foods, Secure Fireproof Tornado-proof Insurance-proof Stone Dome Homes, Home-craft Workshops and Sales Shops with Polished Marble Walls, Granite Floors, Agate Windows, large Cisterns for Water Storage, Elevators, Subway Electric Trains, and LUSCIOUS All-Mineral Organic Gardens in Great TERRACES: so that no Space is Wasted. In short, each City State will be an Environmentalist's PARADISE! Therefore, rather than Waste 15$ on another single Meal of Hog Slop and/or Dog Foods, be Wise for yourself, and spend that Money Judiciously on something that will Enlighten and Satisfy your Mind, while also Entertaining the whole Family, Friends, and Naaberz, who can Share this Inspired Book, and Feast on its Great Truths for Years to come, which will not Cause any Chronic Constipation of the Mind; but, it might Loosen Up some of that Horrible Stink that now Lodges in some of the Minds in Washington, District of Criminals, who have no Reasonable Solutions for anything: beCause of having their Heads Stuck in the Sewage Pipes of Capitalism and DUMBmocracy, which has been Afraid to Speak Up for itself - until NOW! {See: "Are Americans the Most STUPID People who ever Lived?" (HOW Working People can PROSPER and Live in PEACE Under the Rulership of a RIGHTEOUS KING!) By The Worldwide People's Revolution!}

To our Amazement with a Capital A, Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, has done it once again! Yes, he has Constructed another Masterpiece of Fine Artistic Literature, and in only one Week, if you can Believe it! Yes, that appears to be another World Record: because it is his Fortieth Book in less than 2 Years! Therefore, Amazon.com is very Proud to be Blest with his Wonderful Books, which are Extremely Delightful to Read with a Capital R - that is, with Faith, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, and Persistence - beCause they Satisfy the Soul. Indeed, this Amazing Book Reveals HOW to STOP those Hateful Terrorist Attacks, Worldwide, while also Solving many other Massive Problems, which we Challenge you, or anyone else, to Prove to be WRong, Unworkable, or even Unreasonable. In Fact, if you can Prove Mr. Twain's Master Plan to be Unworkable, we will Reward you with the Congressional Industrial Military Bankers' Complex "Medal of Honor," which is the Highest Award in the Land: beCause it comes directly from the Big White OUTHOUSE on the Capitol Dunghill, "if'n ye Knowz what we Meenz," as "Nigger Jim" might say it. Frankly, you will know what we mean, if you just do yourself a little Favor, and read the first 20 Pages of the Book, which contains one of the most Beautiful Satires on Earth, by the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, himself! Yes, he is Unbelievably Sarcastic and Extremely Funny - that is, IF you have a Good Sense of Humor. However, the Subject Matter of this Inspired Book is not so Funny as it is Enlightening to the Mind, whereby you will no doubt Conclude that Master Twain is the one and only Person on this Earth, who has Reasonable Solutions for the Terrorist Problems, which are Direct Revelations from the Highest Powers that Exist, which will be Obvious by the Time you get to the Conclusion of the Book: beCause this Extremely Good Book also contains the Ancient Book of LEHI, which was once Lost! Yes, Master Twain Reveals what the Urim and Thummim were, which you can read about in the Holy Bible, which he has put to Good Use, you might say. After all, "there is nothing Secret that shall not be Revealed," as Jesus said; and, in this Case, it is for our Salvation from the Darkness of Ignorance: beCause Master Twain Shines the Light of God on the Chief Terrorists, beginning with that War Criminal who is Pictured on the Front Cover, who is still Running Free; but, not for long: beCause Master Twain has Plans for bringing all of them to Court in Shackles and Chains, if they do not Voluntarily Confess their Sins, and Open ALL of the Top Secret Files, including those of the KGB and ISIS (Israeli Secret Instigation Services), who will be more than Happy to Cooperate with Master Twain and his Legions of Muslims, who ALL Agree that it is now Time for True JUSTICE, Worldwide. Yes, every Honest Muslim, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist in the whole World Agrees with Master Twain about that. But, if you Doubt it, just Study this most Amazing Book with an Open Mind, and Check the Boxes [_] that you Agree with; and then Ask yourself whether or not you Think that George Warmonger Bush, Incorporated, will also Check the same Boxes? Indeed, there is no Way that Honest Sincere People could Agree with George; but, ALL of them will Happily Agree with Master Twain: beCause he Speaks the Provable TRUTH, which no Honest Person can Rightfully Deny. Yes, you must also Challenge your Friends and Naaberz with the same Question, which is not Unreasonable. Indeed, this Book Reveals HOW to Distinguish the Riichus People from the Wicked People, Guaranteed! We Trust that you are one of the Righteous People, and that you will do your Best to Expose the Real Terrorists in the District of Criminals, in Washington, who will Naturally not Like it; but, a Full Confession is Good for the Soul and the whole Nation. Ask the American Indians, if you Doubt it.

"SWANGKEENOMIKS Rules the Roost" has an Ugly Cover, you might say; but, the Heart and Soul of this Inspired Book is worth far more than fine Gold and polished Silver. In fact, we at Amazon.com would not Trade it for a Long Trainload of Uninspired, Inferior books: because this Amazing Book contains the New MAGNIFIED Version of the Story / Parable of the Prodigal Son, which is Guaranteed to make most People CRY! Indeed, none of us at Amazon could hold back the Tears, which you will no doubt also find True for yourself, if you are Perfectly Honest: because it is perhaps the most "Touching" Story in the World, which would even bring Tears to the Beautiful Blue Eyes of Adolf Hitler, himself, as Bad as he was. But, as for the Tyrannical "Saint" Joseph Murderous Stalin and his good friend, Cigar-chomping Whiskey-guzzling Drunken Winston Smoking Churchill, it is Questionable. Nevertheless, we Challenge you to Read it with a Capital R - as in Slowly, Prayerfully, and Carefully: because Literature does not get any Better than that of Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior! However, if you Doubt it, just make a Comparative Study with other Versions of Luke 15, whose Authors never even Heard of Swangkeenomiks, much less make a Relationship between Economics and the Prodigal Son, which has a Direct Bearing on this Astoundingly Good Book, which should be Mandatory Reading in all Schools, Churches, Mosques, Synagogues, Temples, Cathedrals, Basilicas, Theaters, Ball Parks, Courthouses, Universities, Congressional Meetings of the Minds, Barrooms, or wherever Honest People are Gathered Together: beCause it would Literally Transform their Thinking - that is, IF they have anything in their Heads to Think with, besides Noodles or Spaghetti with Meatballs, you might say, which are rather Slippery to get a Hold of, if you know what we Mean? "Swangkeenomiks Rules the Roost" will make it Perfectly Clear. Guaranteed! So, do not Deprive yourself (or even your Enemies) of something so Wonderfully Good for the Soul, and be Sure to tell all of your Friends, Relatives, and Naaberz about it: because they are no doubt also Starving for these Sweet Satisfying Words of Provable Truths! Just click your Mouse on the Book Cover for a Free Book Preview, and you will Know what we Mean! ENJOY!

Some Silly People would not Capitalize "bite," even if Laughing Hyenas were taking Bites out of their Rumps: beCause, to them, it is a Literary Sin to Capitalize Light, Air, Water, Land, Tornado, Fire, Earth, Sun, or Moon, unless they are used in Titles, or at the beginnings of sentences; much less, Faith, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, Persistence, and Obedience, even though they might Reluctantly Confess that they could not LIVE without those Good Things, and especially without Obedience: beCause, just Imagine what Life would be Like if no one Obeyed the Traffic Laws? Yes, just Imagine HOW you would get to Work, if Vehicles Refused to Start, and would not OBEY? Chances are that you would soon be Driven INSANE by it all: beCause we cannot Live without LAWS, including the Law of Gravity, whereby our Foods Stay on our Tables, rather than Float Away, as they might do in Outer Space, which seems to be Governed by a Different Set of Laws. Yes, we can all Thank the Great Creator God with a Capital T for Sunlight, which is no less than a million Times more Important than General ElecTrickery, and at least a billion Times more Important than some Blabbermouth President, or even all of his limousines, airplanes, helicopters, and other Contraptions put together: beCause, without Sunlight, there would be no Life on this Good Earth. Nevertheless, the Public School of Ignorant Fools Persistently Teaches us to NOT Capitalize any such Words: beCause those Things are not Important enough to them, while Ford Motors and Viagra are very Important, and so much so that they MUST be Capitalized: beCause they are Brand Names. However, Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, is a "Born Rebel," you might say, who Defies the School of Fools, and Challenges them to Prove his Literary Rules to be WRong - one of which is to Capitalize every Important Word that might have Multiple Meanings, whereby all such Things can be Interpreted in several Different Ways, depending on your Viewpoint. For Example, to a "Born Again Christian," the Light of the World is Jesus Christ, who supposedly Enlightened the Minds of more People than any Person who ever Lived, which could only be True if their Minds were Actually Enlightened with a Capital A and E, which, in at least the Cases of George Warmonger Bush, Incorporated, were Obviously NOT Enlightened, even though they Professed to Believe in Jesus Christ before they went to War in Afghanistan and Iraq, which was not at all a Christian Deed: beCause more than a Million Innocent People were Murdered, or Badly Wounded, and more than 10 Million were Displaced from their Homes, whereby they Cursed those Wicked Americans, and Justly so: beCause there were no Good Reasons for Attacking such Poor People, who had Absolutely NOTHING to do with the Evil Events of September 11th, 2001! Therefore, they were not Served with True Justice. Nevertheless, many Deceived Americans go right on Pledging their Allegiance to their Bloody Rag, which Pledge ends "with liberty and justice for all," which is nothing but an American LIE: beCause there is no True Freedom, Liberty, nor Justice for anyone, which can be, should be, and must be Proven in a Courtroom, just to set the Record Straight! Yes, Master Twain has Plans for bringing all of those Liars to COURT, even as he has Explained in this Inspired Book, which is about much more than Justifications for Capitalizations! Yes, it is about True Liberty and Justice for ALL Peoples, Worldwide! Nevertheless, you do not have to Believe it, even if the Government Bulldogs are Biting on your own Rump, just for being True to your Faith. Yes, the Inspired Literature of Master Twain will be a True Test of our Freedom of Speech: beCause he Wields the Sharpest Sword of Divine Truths, O Tax Slaves, Interest Slaves, Insurance Slaves, Drug Slaves, and Work Slaves, which no Wicked Politician can Withstand with his Weak Capitalist Rubber Sword, which cannot even be Sharpened, much less Defeat ...

Many People will no doubt be Highly Offended with a Capital H and O, by this Inspired Book: beCAUSE of being Worshipers of Capitalism, who have not even Considered the Multitude of EVILS that Capitalism have brought about in this World of Woes, which can Rightly be Blamed for more than 5,000 Evils - including the Low Sales Volume of this Wonderful Book, which should be Mandatory Reading in all Public Schools, Universities, Churches, Mosques, Synagogues, Temples, Government Orifices, and wherever People are Gathered, Worldwide: beCause this Book also Reveals the Best Solutions for all such Massive Problems, which is WHY Amazon.com offers a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone in the World, who can Prove Mr. Twain's Solutions to be BAD! Yes, we are quite Confident that his Master Plan is Unbeatable, even if the Lady Doubtfulness Disagrees with us: beCause of having her Head Stuck in the "Tailpipe" of the Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, who also has no Idea what Marvelous Things are Prepared for WISE Intelligent Well-Educated People, who have FAITH, Hope, Trust, Love, Patience, Persistence, and OBEDIENCE - that is, Obedience to the Master Farmer, Himself, who has given his own Special Sermon to us within this Delightful Book, which Reveals HOW to Raise our Standard of Living by many Times, while getting RID of Pollution, Poverty, Crimes, Wars, Terrorist Attacks, Taxes, and all Kinds of Slavery. Yes, it is one of the most Beautiful Sermons ever written, which Master Twain wrote within less than 40 Minutes by the Spirit of Inspiration, which is Guaranteed to put Capitalism Out of Business! Yes, that might Sound rather Frightening to some Greedy People; but, we Assure you that it is the Best News since the First Coming of Jesus Christ! In Fact, he will not Return for his Second Coming, until we Learn, Believe, Love, and OBEY his Commandments within this Enlightening Book! So, if we Want to Hasten his Return, we will have to Learn what he Teaches in this Marvelous Book, and then OBEY it. Yes, it is just that Simple and Beautiful. Otherwise, we will all have to go through the Great Tribulation, which will not be any Fun at all; but, if we Obey the Good Shepherd, like Humble Honest Sheeps, we will all be Greatly Blest, even with Beautiful Swanky PALACES! Guaranteed! Therefore, do not Listen to any Irreverent LOUDMOUTH Slothgut Windbag Hole-in-Thy-Head, much less any Irreverent Snake with a Long Tale of Outlandish Lies, who Strikes at the Colorful Peacock from Angel Ridge, King's Mountain, Kentucky, with the Poisonous Fangs of Hate and Revenge: beCause the Master Farmer will Chop Off his Tale of Lies with his Sharp Sword of Divine Truths, and leave him with an Empty Offering Plate! Guaranteed! Indeed, whomever does not Humbly Submit to the Sword of Truth will be most Ashamed during the Day of Judgment, which is soon to Come, when all Mockingbirds and Painted Skunks will Wish to God that they had Studied this Humorous Book, first, just to Sharpen up their own Swords of Truths. After all, if Capitalism is such a Holy Institution, it should be Easy to Defend it with a Capital D. However, we Assure you, and with a Capital A, that it is NOT Easy to Defend: beCause, like a Deceptive Snake, it Drags more than 5,000 Evils along with it! Yes, Capitalism is the Love of Money in ACTION, which, according to the Apostle Paul, is the Root Cause for almost all Evils. Therefore, if we Want to be on the Right Side of History, we must Learn what the Master Farmer has to Say about Right and WRong, Good and Evil, and what to Do about it with a Capital D, which is most Reasonable, Logical, and Lovable! Absolutely Positively Guaranteed. Moreover, if you Imagine that you cannot Afford to Buy this Good Book, it is Time for you to become a BEGGAR; or otherwise, just Skip a Meal of some Dainty Dish of Crocodile Food: beCause it is well Worth a thousand Times more than we are Charging for it! Guaranteed! Have FAITH, O Lady Doubtfulness.

"Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY" is no Joke, even though this is a very Humorous Book: because that is his Nature, to be Humorous; and he probably cannot help himself to do otherwise, even as he cannot Resist the Great Temptation to give those Dimwitcrats and Reprobates some STRONG Undefeatable Competition - at least for the Year 2020, while he is still Fired Up and Ready to RUN! After all, none of those Political Rabbits have any of the Wonderful Solutions that our Selected King has, who has been Resurrected into the Body of Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, by the Act of Reincarnation - NOT by any Act of Congress - which many People do not Believe in: beCause of Depriving themselves of such Inspired Books as this one, which contains enough Evidence to Fully Persuade anyone with a Right Mind that Reincarnation is for REAL, even if the Lady Doubtfulness does not Believe it, which makes no Difference: beCause, if it is the Will of GOD that Master Twain should be our New Elected President, then he will be, come Hell or High Water, as they say: beCause the Will of God WILL be Done - at least According to "Believers," who Hold Tightly to that Silly Doctrine of the Devil, who has Deceived almost everyone in the World; but, not our Selected King, who Knows for a Fact with a Capital K and F that God did NOT Elect, nor Inspire anyone else to Elect the Right/WRong Rong/Riit Parties in the Unholy Name of DEMON-ocracy, which is MOB Rulership! Indeed, that would be Pure Insanity, if you Think about it: beCause the Democratic MOB might be Persuaded to Scream Out: "CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!!" And thus, the most Righteous Person in the World can be, and was in Fact, Crucified! Yes, you too Know for a Fact that THAT is what Happened when DEMON-ocracy had its Way, about 2,000 Years Ago; and nothing has Changed very much with the Nature of Men since then, who are Daily Crucifying Righteousness, just by their Actions, alone! Indeed, who is it that does not Know that our "Beloved" Abominations are Destroying our Wonderful World, slowly but surely in Human Ecology? So, what is to be Done about it? Will the Election of another Powerless PUPPET President, who Plays into the Hands of Rich Corporations and Bankers, actually Solve all such Massive Problems as we have Invented for ourselves? Well, it is now Time to be Objective, rather than Subjective: because only Real Workable Solutions will Actually Solve our Massive Problems, and not just Wishful Thinking, according to how we FEEL about it. Indeed, Master Mark Revolutionary Twain, Junior, presents some Irrefutable Solutions, which will Actually WORK, and Work very Well, which can be Proven in a Courtroom with Law and Order, if anyone is Interested in it. Most People are NOT Interested in Confessing the Facts, beginning with their Dietary Sins, which are rather Em-bare-assing, as Master Twain puts it: beCause there is Weighty Evidence that we have Transgressed. Therefore, to Deny it, will not Solve the Problem; but, only a Full Confession of the Facts. Likewise, our Witty Inventions have gotten us into HUGE Problems, which will not easily be Solved without a LOT of Work to Correct the Situation, which can mostly be done with Mechanical Slaves, which will never Complain about Low Wages, even if those Machines are Worked for almost 24 Hours per Day, in Order to LIBERATE us from our Insane Lifestyles, Worldwide. Therefore, VOTE for The GOAT! Otherwise, you may Gamble with your Future, and the Future Destinies of your Children, by Voting for a Jackass or Elephant, who can Bray and Trumpet much LOUDER than any Goat can Bleat; but, the Humble Honest Man with the Sharpest Sword of Provable Truths will WIN the Election, even as a Mountain Goat can Outrun any Elephant or Ass, including Balaam's Ass. GUARANTEED! However, if you Doubt it, just carefully read: "Mark Twain Races for the PRESIDENCY!" It is a Wonderful Book! A must read for any Unsatisfied Soul. Peace and Happiness to you!

Guess what? We can Thank God that we are not among the Refugees, Poor Migrant Workers, Illegal Immigrants, nor "Aliens" in this World of Woes, who would probably not have Access to Computers, if they were Extremely Poor, as many of them are; but, they, above all other People, Desperately Need the Important Information within this Inspired Book: because it presents a Reasonable Solution for almost all of their Problems, which they will naturally Love: because it will make it possible for almost all of those Poor Souls to become Moderately RICH, just by their Labors, alone. Yes, it sounds too Good to be True, huh? But, it is True, and that is WHY www.Amazon.com is Offering a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone who can Prove our Selected King's Solution to be Unworkable, or even Unreasonable! Yes, we say that it is a "Foolproof" Solution, which will make a LOT of very Healthy Happy People, even if they are not Migrant Workers, Illegal Immigrants, Refugees, nor Aliens of any Kind or Color, who just need Good Jobs with Better Wages. Yes, this is a "Come one, come all, fits all" Plan, even for those Extremely Poor so-called "Rich People," who do not have Fresh Clean Air to Breathe, Pure Living Water to Drink, Wholesome Natural Foods to Eat, Secure Houses to Live in, nor Guaranteed Incomes, which everyone can now have, if they have the Faith of Army Ants, who know HOW to Work Together for a Common Goal. We Trust you to have such Great Faith, or at least enough to Study this Inspired Book, which Costs less than a Meal at the Death and Hell Restaurant, and it will not make you Sick by any Means. Indeed, it is one of the most Cheerful Books on the Earth, and full of Good News!